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Death Grief – A Personal Issue

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Death Grief

A Personal Issue

by Samuel E. Warren Jr.

“Wishing A Loved One Back To Life Does Not Work – I Tried It.” When my mother died, I tried everything I could think of to understand, “Why ?” Obviously, Death is a natural end of Life, but, when personal tragedy arrives – logic is of little use. Peace Of Mind is an “emotional state” that has to be recognized and satisfied in order for Life to have any real meaning. I had to deal with my grief by trying to discover “What I Truly Believed About An Afterlife.” Photo by Samuel E. Warren Jr.

When a close loved one dies, family and friends try to help your emotional state of mind. It is nice that they try. It is nice that they offer advice. But, the truth is, we are all individual and unique.

While our bodies have the basic physical and chemical structure from person to person; it is in our minds that we are all truly unique. In our minds, despite what Sigmund Freud and his legions of psychiatrists and psychologists promote – we are unique. Culture, society, civilization may try to hardwire a certain perspective into our heads, but, the individual can “decide” to “buy” or reject the information or the fairy tale.

As humans, we learn “how-to-play-the-game” and we learn when it is important to “pay lip service” to popular ideas of our society, culture and civilizations. At the end of the day, “We are always ‘Free In Our Minds To Choose What We Believe.’”

When my mother died, family and friends were polite and expressed their sympathy. I did truly appreciate the gesture. Having grown up in the midwest, in the Ozarks, family and friends naturally “assumed” I believed as they did in the overall area of religion. They were wrong.

I believe in God.

But, I have never really believed in the “Traditional Christian God,” because after the Old Testament, the Traditional Christian God becomes an “Eternal Couch Potato Looking At The Big Screen TV Of The Universe And Not Getting Involved.”

Anytime I think of God, I put him “on the ground, in country, in the thick of the action, working alongside me, or on my behalf to solve problems. If He or She has to move back and forth between Heaven and the Real World, that is no problem and no big deal. After all, Creator Of The Universe, then, the whole Space and Time issues are irrelevant.

At my mother’s death, the whole issue of grief became apparent. While the Real World issues of Funeral and Burial Arrangements are at the forefront of your mind, your personal emotions are inside your head leaking radioactivity like a busted Three Mile Island nuclear reactor.

While people will offer you the traditional religious cliches of life, no one seems willing to help you with an in-depth soul search. Of course, you will find those “Soul Savers” in the society – “God’s Used Car Salesmen,” who regardless or the time of day or circumstance, these people appear out of nowhere and give you their “Save Your Soul” spiel; but, they don’t answer questions. If you start to ask questions that deviates from their scripted testimony, then, they get upset or back away and leave.

You can ask friends and family about their religious views, but, you have to approach the subject as though you are asking about the weather – in a light-hearted conversational fashion.

Personal Quest

Thus, if you try to work through personal grief using religion, then, it will be a personal quest. There is no way to know, where that quest will take you.

You just have to make the decision to want to find answers.

I have always had an open mind on religion.

Thus, I pulled out all the stops. No idea was too “off the wall’, “far out” or “really out there to consider” because the traditional ideas always seemed to raise more questions than they answer.

Thus, I pulled out my collection of various books, magazines and surfed the Internet looking for information on religion, the supernatural and the Afterlife. My solution to the grief is I had to create an Afterlife commanded by the Gods and Goddesses that I could relate to and identify with.

Naturally, each individual will have to come up with their own solution to the grief surrounding the Death and personal loss of a loved one. I could not endure society’s “Supermarket Religions” of processed and packaged prophets. Nor, would I endure the “psychobabble” of professional experts who justify their “mental guesswork” with society’s agreed upon “sheepskin credentials.”

Alas, Sigmund and the boys may just be well-dressed soothsayers dancing in the light of the moon after all. If you are curious, about my “Serious Soul Search,” then, visit my “Samuel Warren The Writer” blog and read my article: “Momma’s Death – Required My Own Afterlife Solution” or use the link to take you there: http://www.samuelwarrenthewriter.blogspot.com/2012/06/mommas-death-required-my-own-afterlife.html

I appreciate feedback from readers, so, please, feel free to leave a comment on that blog or to return to my “Sam I Am Blog” and post your comment.

“The True Magick Of Life” is sometimes that forgotten lamp hidden on a back shelf of your mind, labeled, “Imagination.” Creativity and imagination maybe methods you can use to help you work through personal grief. Tools of The Real World can sometimes “spark” your mind to find a solution. Photo by Samuel E. Warren Jr.

Thank you,

Sam

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