Sam I Am Blog

My Newspaper of News, Lifestyle,Culture

Archive for the ‘Spiritual’ Category

Paperback Writer . . . Maybe. . . ?

with one comment

Missouri Mule Mug Shot SC160_0502_Photo by Samuel E. Warren Jr. 0502_sized for Internet
by Samuel E. Warren Jr.

I am a writer.

I love to write.

I retired from the United States Air Force after a career as a military photojournalist and editor. I have written many stories in my life.

Now, that I am retired, I enjoy my passion of writing on my blogs.

I haven’t written a novel. Perhaps, I never will. However, I do write short stories.

If you want to read any of my short stories, then, check my “Sam I Am Blog” on Word Press. You can check the blog often or type into your search engine : Samuel E. Warren Jr. Short Story.

Be advised that I am a writer who writes on a variety of topics. I am a Spiritual Man.

I am NOT a Religious Man. I am downright blasphemous. I am sacreligious. I am irreligious.

Thus, on the subject of The World’s Traditional Religions, I would be the man, who stands next to Satan and could enjoy a cigar and conversation in the Afterlife with Aleister Crowley.

In my lifetime, Islam has conducted a global campaign of violence and chaos, so I will never have anything nice to say about Islam or on the subject of Muslims.

I am a Texan. I am an American. I am a Scorpio. I am not now, nor, have I ever been “Politically Correct.” 1 WARREN LAND FRONT COVER PHOTO 2

The only other fact that you need to be aware of in my short stories is I use “Warren English.”

I violate the accepted “Rules Of American English” and, most definitely, “Her Majesty’s United Kingdom English.”

I write to communicate and for dramatic effect.

I watch my spelling.

I use the standard English format of subject, verb, and object. I toss in adjectives, adverbs and prepositional phrases where needed. I don’t worry about comma splices. I do not write to impress English professors or grammar teachers.

As a military journalist, I had to essentially memorize Strunk & White’s Rules Of Grammar. As an editor, I saw sections of The Associated Press Style Book and Libel Manual in my dreams.

Strunk & White are both dead. The Associated Press never sent me a paycheck. I’m retired. I write as I please.

I employ a “Journalistic Style” of writing, which means I usually don’t put more than two or three sentences in a paragraph.

The other factor of “Warren English” is I capitalize English words that are not always capitalized.
Life is important — you get one.

Death is important — you only want one.

War is important because it is Life and Death on a grand scale.

Thus, I routinely capitalize Death, Life and War.

The primary focus of my “Warren English” is communication and understanding.

I write for fun. I write for my readers. I would hope that I can inform, entertain, inspire and challenge your beliefs and awaken your imagination.

Look for a Samuel E. Warren Jr. Short Story coming soon to the Sam I Am Blog.

Isolation

leave a comment »

Isolation

by Samuel E. Warren Jr.

Isolation is one of the dumbest ideas of the human race.

You have those times in Life where you think you "Want" to be "Isolated" from your fellow humans.

You don’t.

What you want is time to step back, take a breather, refocus your mind and "Get Back In Your Life."

Isolation is not possible in "Your Life" on a day to day local basis or even in your day to day role as a Citizen Of Planet Earth.

Once you emerge from the womb, You give up "The Isolation Of Your Life."

However, even the isolation in the womb is a fantasy because the emerging child is "Connected" to the mother. Once you emerge from the womb, You are truly "Connected" to the world.

I find the comments of news stories humorous whenever they suggest that the United States should be "Isolated" or revert to the old policies of "Isolationism" because the idea "NEVER WORKS."

As a person, you can find ways to "Shut Yourself Away From The World" for a few hours or a few days.

If you dare, you can shut off your cellphone.

I have had my moments of "Privacy."

Once I even took a few days military leave just to take a "Breather" from the Normal Daily Human Rat Race. I stocked up on coffee and cigarettes. I was in my artistic phase and wanted the time to work on my own comic book idea.

I had my white, bond paper, my Number 2 lead pencils, ruler, protractor and my imagination. I sat in my off base apartment and "drawed" for a couple of weeks. I had a roommate, so I wasn’t completely alone. However, he had a job, so he was gone, during the days.

After a few days, I began to experience "Cabin Fever." I had separated myself from the world. Yet, it seemed like the world was closing in on me.

I had become a monastic monk in Bossier City, Louisiana and wasn’t even watching TV or the evening news.

In ’82, we humans still had a "Caveman Culture" because computers were still several hundred dollars for the "Game Geeks" and the aspiring bureaucratic administrators of the world.

Telephones were still devices that sat on a piece of furniture. In movies, you see rich characters out in LA, who have their "Car Phones", but most of the telephones were in homes, phone booths and office buildings around the planet.

The Grandparents Of The Cellphone, Facebook And Twitter Generations were usually ham radio station operators or truckers, who loved their "Citizen’s Band radio." America’s truckers, who roll the 18-wheel semi tractor trailers across the nation from coast to coast had their "CBs."

The fad spread and the "Good Ole Boys Of America" would hang a CB beneath their dash in their farm pickups and their hunting pickups and CBs were "The Rage" until the car phones evolved and ended the market.

Isolation, as a person was easier to carry out in ’82.

However, the idea of "Isolation" is stupid because you should never "Unplug From Your Life", regardless of the reason. Life is "Too Precious." Life is "Too Short."

Throughout US History, Americans tend to "Freak Out" and call for the United States to revert to the stupid policy of "Isolationism."

In World War I, Americans sat on the continent, while the "World Burned." Once the oceanliner"Luisitania" was sunk at sea; Americans realized, "You Can Not Hide From War." War will find you.

In World War II, Americans sat on the real estate. The World Bleeds And Burns. Egomaniac Emperor Hirohito Of Japan crossed the line — "He Stabbed America In The Back."

Pearl Harbor was "An Act Of Cowardice Carried Out On The Orders Of A Half-Blind, Runt Madman." It happened on a Sunday, when that era of Americans would be in church.

America’s World War I policy of "Isolationism" failed. The end result is America had to play "Catch Up" and people had to make sacrifices to attempt to enjoy their day to day lives.

America’s World War II policy of "Isolationism" failed. The end result was Americans were really behind the power curve and had to play "Catch Up" to hope they would survive the War.

For those Americans who are naive enough to believe "The United States Of America Can Ever Be ’Isolated’ From International Affairs", here, is a piece of advice: "Wise Up."

The United States land mass is too large to be overlooked. America has always been a "Nation Of Immigrants", so to believe that immigrant Americans are going to turn their backs while their former homelands are in flames is just silly.

Even Americans, who emerge from the womb on a real estate location in the United States cannot afford to ignore International Affairs. Granted, the old Cold War rhetoric of a Chinese tank rolling through San Francisco may not seem logical in the 21st Century.

The old Cold War rhetoric of Soviet troops from Moscow parachuting into pastures in Stone County, Missouri may not seem that realistic in the 21st Century.

The reality is technology has made the planet smaller.

The irony is people don’t really "Talk" or communicate with one another anymore because the blurbs encouraged by social media plays on people’s busy schedules and the cliche mentality of people.

We "Talk" or "Text" on cellphones, but those communications are more like "Slogan Slinging" and not real conversations.

The Facebook and Twitter "blurbs" are essentially "Sophisticated Cave Man Grunts" that allow us to pretend we are "Connected" with the people around us and our world.

In the ’50s,60s,70s, and 80s, people would sit at kitchen tables, in their living rooms or at a bar and cuss and discuss the affairs of the world. Usually the conversations would pass time and provide an exchange of ideas. Sometimes the conversations might get "emotional" or "heated", but you always came away with an outlook, a viewpoint and a feeling that other people also cared about life on the planet.

Now, people "Slogan Sling" cliches on facebook, twitter and "Pretend" they are communicating with one another.

As a Citizen Of Planet Earth, you can look forward to "Future Isolation" in a graveyard plot with a headstone. Then, again, since you might be buried next to someone else — you can not even expect "Isolation" in the graveyard.

As a Citizen Of Planet Earth, forget the "Isolation" silliness and enjoy your life.

As a Citizen Of Planet Earth, realize that it is "Stupid" to believe that international affairs going on in The Capitols Of The World each morning have an effect on your life, directly or indirectly.

The History Of The Nations Of The World point out that "War Is The Way Of The World." Sooner or later, a nation or nations resort to War.

Don’t kid yourself. War isn’t going away.

You can whine that the United States Government should not care about the state of War in Syria. You might have a valid point. However, the inevitable outcome of the Syrian Civil War will affect the international affairs of the United States.

You can get upset that the United States Government has taken a position on Crimea and the Ukraine, but the actions by Russia will affect American policy, which always manages to translate into domestic events that can impact the economy in a positive or negative way.

The US Government is not going to step away from international affairs because paranoid Americans want to believe that stepping back from global affairs will improve the local economy.

Uncle Sam refuses to do "Isolation" because nations that become "Isolated", eventually become the real estate of another country.

Pay attention to the news each day, so that when the time comes that War is the reality, you will be prepared to survive.

Isolation does not work.

Isolation does not work for nations.

Isolation will not work for You. Go ahead, take the risk: Enjoy your life.

Shame Email

leave a comment »

Editor’s Note: Facebook Family and Friends, I got an email from a reporter friend about an article that will seize your emotions. If you have an iota of humanity, compassion or kids — then, you SHOULD read the email that I posted on my "Sam I Am Blog" because it looks at what a Filipina reporter witnesses as the differences in two cultures in response to a National Tragedy. The focus of the article begins with the sinking of the South Korean ferry and the "teenage lives" lost in the tragedy.

Editor-In-Chief

Samuel E. Warren Jr.

Shame
SKETCHES By Ana Marie Pamintuan (The Philippine Star) | Updated May 2, 2014 – 12:00am

A day after a ferry carrying hundreds of high school students sank on its way to a resort island in South Korea, my lunch meeting with a Korean expat was canceled.
Earlier this week a Korean told me why: their entire nation is mourning for the dead and missing in the sinking of the ferry Sewol, and people consider it inappropriate to enjoy fine meals or entertain in restaurants. Concerts and other fun activities have also been canceled.
While business is down in South Korea as a result, the situation is expected to persist as the retrieval of bodies moves slowly. Retrieval has been difficult, I was told, because of an unusually rapid tidal current or stream at the site that can move at around 20 kilometers per hour, compounded by stormy weather and icy waters.
The Koreans are considering raising the ferry from the seabed, but the logistics are daunting particularly because of that rapid stream, even for a nation that is home to three of the world’s largest shipbuilding companies (Hyundai, Samsung and Hanjin heavy industries).
“We are so ashamed,” a Korean expat lamented to me recently, citing the behavior of the ship crew, their government’s response and the regulatory failure that contributed to the tragedy. The expat said it is a painful learning experience for Koreans.
For a number of Pinoys, on the other hand, the Korean government’s response is impressive enough along with the nationwide mourning and public expressions of remorse and shame over one maritime accident.
South Korea’s prime minister apologized and resigned over the disaster, while the vice principal of the students’ high school, who was rescued from the ferry, was found hanging with his belt from a tree near the school gym.
The fisheries minister and coastguard chief spent an entire night with angry parents in a tent on the beach explaining their agencies’ responses to the disaster. The deputy coastguard chief was also taken to the tent from his temporary office by irate relatives of the victims.
President Park Geun-hye herself, her popularity sagging in the wake of the accident, has publicly apologized for her government’s “insufficient first response” and failure to curb the regulatory “evils” that contributed to the disaster.
Some reports said the addition of cabins on several decks to accommodate more passengers made the 20-year-old ferry unstable in the powerful current. The ship, which carried 476 people, was reportedly overloaded.
The ferry captain – among the first to be rescued by responding coastguard personnel – and 14 of his crew have been arrested. The billionaire owner of the company that operated the ship is under investigation. The offices of his company and its affiliates were raided and documents confiscated as a probe got underway on the group’s finances.
Maritime regulators are also under investigation not only for administrative lapses but also for possible corruption. There is suspicion that regulators colluded with the company for the modifications that made the vessel top-heavy and unstable.
Compare this with what happens when a ferry sinks in our country. When the ferry Doña Paz collided with the oil tanker Vector off Marinduque on Dec. 20, 1987, it took 16 hours for rescuers to arrive, by which time most of the passengers and crew had drowned, died in the explosion and fire from the cargo of gasoline and other petroleum products on the Vector, or devoured by sharks in Tablas Strait.
Because of the inaccurate ship manifest, there is still no verified number of the dead and missing, estimated at 4,386.
It took more than a decade for the official probe to be completed, with Doña Paz owner Sulpicio Lines and Caltex Philippines, which chartered the Vector, absolved of liability. The Vector was found at fault and ordered to indemnify the victims.
I don’t remember anyone, however, being arrested, tried in court or publicly apologizing for the tragedy, considered the world’s worst peacetime maritime disaster. No maritime or regulatory official was punished, suspended or fired. No one resigned, much less committed suicide.
We can argue that Korean society is different, but this is not only a cultural thing. Our problem is also systemic. The Doña Paz disaster failed to result in dramatic reforms in our maritime industry. After the collision, we still saw deadly maritime accidents almost every year, in fair weather or foul, with several of the ships also owned by Sulpicio Lines.
The deep sense of shame can be found in other societies. Yesterday in California, for example, Mike D’Antoni quit as head coach of the Los Angeles Lakers after two seasons of unimpressive performance by the team.
In our country, those in charge of sports development have clung to their posts through many years of unimpressive performance by Philippines athletes, including their worst ever in the Southeast Asian Games.
All natural disasters here are dismissed as acts of God, with no one taking responsibility for failing to mitigate the impact, such as by preventing illegal logging.
In any disaster, the immediate response is to pass the buck, to deny responsibility. Remember what happened in the Rizal Park hostage mess. In the end it was an official who wasn’t even there during the fiasco, Manila Mayor Joseph Estrada, who had to apologize to Hong Kong for the deaths of their tourists.
Crooks in government, even when presented with incontrovertible evidence of wrongdoing, will never admit it all the way to their grave, and will be sorry only that they got caught.
Suicide? Homicide is more likely; woe to whistle-blowers.
Shame? Not in this society. Some of the individuals accused of plunder (plus an ex-convict) and other high crimes even hobnobbed with US President Barack Obama at a pricey Malacañang dinner paid for by Pinoy taxpayers.
In our society, thieves and those responsible for public misery never say sorry or quit. They aspire for high office, and they often win.

My March Madness by Samuel E. Warren Jr.

leave a comment »

 

My

March Madness

by Samuel E. Warren Jr.

Every March, Uncle Sam would hand me a set or “Orders.”

 

The Orders” meant to have my bags packed.

 

I would either be “Ordered” to proceed with the Permanent Change Of Station procedure to a different military base or assignment; or, I would be “Ordered” to head to the nearest bus station or airport to go T-D-Y.

 

The TDY Orders” – temporary duty – meant I would take a duffel bag, suitcase and my camera bag and get ready to “deploy” somewhere on planet earth “to do my job” on a temporary basis.

 

Now, I am “Officially Retired”.

 

Still, every March I “get ready” “to travel.”

 

My Ides Of March

 

If I do not have somewhere to go; I become “restless.”

 

We, humans, are creatures of habit.

 

My personal “March Madness” and My personal “Ides Of March” always comes down to the “need to move.”

 

March 2013, I had no “travel orders”, so I became “restless.”

 

My March Mission

 

My “March Mission” came about as the result of Pope Benedict XVI’s decision “to quit.”

 

My “March Mission” came down to “Research.”

 

Pope Benedict XVI had been regarded as a “powerful man”.

 

Pope Benedict XVI He rode shotgun on 1.2 billion people worldwide in various nations. Whether he had a “great idea” or a “dumb idea”, many of those people “stood ready” to carry out his wishes.

 

As “The World’s Single Greatest Religious Dictator”, Pope Benedict XVI held “The Lives An Fortunes Of Numerous People”, in the palm of his hands.

 

Pope Benedict’s various online biographies reveal that he had spent his entire Life training for a “Position Of Power.”

 

In 2005, Pope Benedict XVI was given “The Keys To The Kingdom.” He had earned “Universal Carte Blanche”, he had a palace, real estate around the world, his own private bank, a corps of professional lackeys from lawyers and diplomats through social workers and housekeepers worldwide to carry out his slightest whim.

Worldwide War Lords

Alexander The Great spent years of Warfare that destroyed countless human Lives “To Conquer The Known World.”

 

Adolf Hitler engaged in years of Warfare, “wasted” countless human Lives in his attempt “To Conquer The Known World.”

 

Emperor Hirohito of Japan engaged in years of Warfare, “wasted” countless human Lives,in his attempt, “To Conquer Asia And The Pacific.”

 

Benito Mussolini of Italy, a newspaper editor, “wasted” countless human Lives in his attempt “To Conquer Italy.” Alas, Benito would not be “Caesar”, nor, would he become a “Roman Emperor.”

 

Religious War Lord

 

In 2005, a group of more than a hundred old men, gave Pope Benedict XVI “The Power” that Adolf Hitler, Emperor Hirohito and Benito Mussolini had all “lusted after” – “World Domination”.

 

Alexander The Great succeed in getting “World Domination”, but he paid an extreme cost in men, real estate, munitions, money and time in just “reaching” his goal. To maintain “World Domination” is another matter entirely.

 

In a matter of hours, a bunch of old men, handed Pope Benedict XVI “World Domination On A Silver Platter”. Without a single bullet or bomb, the Pope achieved “Limited World Domination”.

 

A Religious War Lord is more “dangerous” than a Real World War Lord because The Religious War Lord “inherits centuries of religious superstition and propaganda” that allows him to send “The Zombies Of Faith” willingly to their deaths.

 

A Real World War Lord has no guarantee that his citizens and soldiers are going to ‘waste” their Lives for his personal philosophy and profit.

 

The Real World War Lord always has to create his propaganda from “scratch” using ideas and a perverted form of emotional patriotism to rally the rebels and radicals into the street and on to the capitol.

 

Faithful Fools

 

People in the Pope’s kingdom would carry out his “Orders”, without question, because they are “The Faithful,”

 

The people not in the Pope’s kingdom would not carry out his “Orders,” because these people Live In The Real World and are not “fans” of “Religious Theater”.

 

When Pope Benedict XVI decided he was tired of “playing Super Saint”; he “Quit.”

 

The entire “Religious World Of Planet Earth” had a “hissey fit.”

 

Catholics felt “Judas Iscariot In The White Dress” had “betrayed” them because the pope did not die in office.

 

Worldwide reactions on The Internet, reveal Christians, Protestants, even Islamists, Muslims and Jews were all “Shocked”

 

The Power

 

Human History is full of stories of people who have given everything they own for a chance at “The Power Of World Domination.”

 

Suddenly, you have a man who has “The Power Of Limited World Domination” and he “throws ‘The Power’ away like an empty grocery bag.’”

 

Human History teaches “No one” ever gives up “Power” willingly.

 

Orange Prison Jumpsuit

 

My March Mission became to try and discover “The Loaded Gun Pressed Against Pope Benedict XVI’s Head” that would make him “give up the power.”

 

Health as “The Official Reason” and “The Official Statement” is a lame excuse because global history and tradition “demands” the pope “die in office.”

 

I am satisfied that “The Fear” of the “Global Clerical Sex Abuse Scandal” meant Pope Benedict XVI was afraid he would have to turn in his white pope dress for one of “The Secular World’s Orange Prison Jumpsuits.”

 

Criminal Conspirator

 

Times have changed.

 

It does not matter that Pope Benedict did not sexually abuse, molest and rape boys and girls around the world because he “protected” the men and women who did “commit the crime.”

 

In the Real World, a conspirator, who finances, supports and directs the criminal activities of his legion of lackeys is held accountable in a court of Law.

 

The Organized Crime Godfather or The War Criminal can go to prison or be executed.

 

The Pope’s White Dress “saved” him from a prison cell and a criminal conviction.

 

As a visual, living, breathing symbol of one of The World’s Oldest Traditional Religions and overall a symbol of ALL of The World’s Traditional Religions .

 

The Pope In Prison” is not a newspaper headline that global citizens were anxious to read or see.

 

Many people did not want to see “The Old Man Of Religion” as a mugshot online with a scheduled date to appear before “The World Court.”

 

Religious Radiation ; Political Fallout

 

Legal documents had been filed.

 

It was obvious to some people in The Real World that Pope Benedict XVI had become “John The Baptist Of Clerical Sexual Abuse Worldwide.”

 

The pope made his “I Quit” announcement.

 

Press releases state the pope had requested “Immunity” from The President Of Italy.

 

The Vatican lost “No Time” in reclassification of the Pope as “Emeritus Pope” and rushing him into “Exile” in a maximum security “castle.”

 

Meanwhile, The Vatican waged “The Politically Correct Propaganda Campaign For The Hearts And Minds Of The Religiously Addicted Worldwide.”

 

Master Showman – Pope Enron

 

To Redeem The World’s Kingdoms Of Enron Religious Empires”, The Vatican and The Religious World needed another “sucker” to be pope.

 

The Next John The Baptist Wandering In The Wilderness And Howling At The Sun would have to be someone who could be a “Master Showman”, who would befuddled and bamboozle the critics and the world public at large.

 

Pope Francis I hits the ground running.

 

He talks. He talks a lot about The Poor. He talks about Nature. He talks about Mercy. He talks about Compassion. He talks about Peace.

 

Pope Francis I talks about anything and everything; it would seem, except Clerical Sexual Abuse Of Children By Pedophile Priests And Nasty Nookie Nuns.

 

Back To Business

 

Hallelujah ! The Religious World Is Saved.

 

Business As Usual continues in The Religious World.

 

Global Justice ignores Clerical Sexual Abuse Of Children Worldwide because The World’s Old Traditional Religions find it easier to “deny” the criminal acts,

 

The World’s Old Traditional Religions decide to toss out “sheckles of silver”, and offer “hot air apologizes to victims, their families and their lawyers” than to aggressively push for the “prosecution and conviction of religious criminals.”

 

Religious Research Revelations

 

February 2013, – the final two weeks – and the month of March 2013, I did numerous hours of research on Catholicism, the history of the popes, news releases on religion, research on Christianity, and research on Islam.

 

I grew up exposed to and “pestered by” Protestant religions in childhood and adult Life, so I didn’t really “waste” time on the Protestants, who really are just “spin offs” and “sequels” of Catholicism’s Jesus Christ Franchise.

 

I did not do very much research on Judaism because I went after “The Big J” to see if Jesus Christ really ever spoke out on child abuse.

 

After more than a month of research, notes and writing, I have decided: “The World’s Old Traditional Religions Are Stupid Superstitions “ that fail repeatedly The Common Sense Test Of Daily Life.”

 

As I get older I find less need for “Religion” and more need for “Spirituality” in my personal Life.

 

I define “Spirituality” as the daily belief that there is a Reason For Life – Life Is Meant To Be Lived. Morality and ethics of Spirituality means you decide how to relate with your fellow human beings.

 

My Personal Spirituality “believes” a Supreme Universal Entity exists The Entity knows I Live Life to the best of my ability and do my best to help my fellow man and woman, whenever it is humanly possible.

 

Sacrifice The Children

 

Life goes on.

 

The World’s Old Traditional Religions are all back on track.

 

The World’s Old Traditional Religions have their Religious Theater Companies and their Religious Theater Schedules back in business.

 

The Emeritus Pope remains in “Exile” and “hidden from the world.”

 

The Presiding Pope, a diplomatic head of state and an ‘absolute ruler’, still maintains The Church’s “prime global real estate”, has his “own” private bank and still “preaches” the fairy tales of a lazy, dead Middle Eastern Hippie confidence man as “The Good News Of Global Humanity.”

 

The Bombastic Brouhaha of 2013 quickly fades from the dignity of human rights and the protection of children to the age-old religious themes of “Sacrifice The Children.”

 

Abraham the hallowed revered Father Of Humanity was ready to “Sacrifice His Son” until the ram arrived.

 

The politically perverted story of “The Slaughter Of The Innocents” claims God Almighty and The Holy Spirit were The Mass Murderers Of The First Born Male Infants Of Pharaoh’s Ancient Egypt.

 

Historians debate the historical accuracy or the political propaganda that Herod Antipas “ordered” the slaughter of first born infant boys, who could have been the Jewish or Christian Messiah. Here again, religious people seem to have a fetish that suggests “The Sacrifice Of Children.”

 

The Most Famous Historical Sacrifice Of A Child is the biblical story of The Sacrifice Of An Adult Child.

 

Once again, God Almighty is the reputed Murderer because He demanded The Death Of His Own Son – the suspicious Jesus Christ.

 

What is the Universal Global Psychological Hangup that religious people have with the fetish that demands the “Sacrifice Of The Children ?”

 

Yesterday’s News:

Youth Sexual Abuse By Clergy

 

The World’s Best Con Games remain the most successful – Superstitious Religions For Profit.

 

I am grateful my mother, father and relatives never allowed me to be in the care of any brand of religious clergy.

 

I still remember the title of a religious song for children from my childhood: “Jesus Loves The Little Children.”

 

 

The Sexual Abuse Of Children By The World’s Old Traditional Religious Clergy seems to be “yesterday’s news.”

Sam

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons license.

Written by samwarren55

April 5, 2013 at 7:57 PM

Posted in Bloggers, Blogs, Business, Current Events, Editorial, Family, God, Holidays, Money, Mythology, Nature, New Age, Observances, Opinion, Politics, Religion, Religion, Sam I Am, Soap Box Political Opinion, Soap Box Religious Opinion, Spiritual

Tagged with , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

The World Goes Stupid ! Editorial by Samuel E. Warren Jr.

with 13 comments

 

 

Pope Francis I Mesmerizes Planet Earth

 

The World Goes Stupid

Rotated_THE CRUCIFIXION SCENE HOLY WEEK 2012 PHOTO BY SAMUEL E WARREN JR_EMAIL

 

Roman Crucifixion

In The Extreme

The Ancient Romans’ idea of Capital Punishment meant they executed enemies of the Empire by Crucifixion, thus the person was nailed to a wooden cross. If the person had really upset someone then the crucified person was nailed upside down on the cross to die.

 

When it seems a person’s life is turned “upside down”, then, it is hard to focus on the daily task at hand.

 

Pope Francis I’s simplistic lifestyle message has turned the global humanitarian philosophy of the world “upside down.” Time will tell if the approach works or simply rots in the sunlight. Photo by Samuel E. Warren Jr.

by Samuel E. Warren Jr.

The World has gone stupid.

 

 

The majority of the people on planet earth in a few short days have gone – stupid.

 

Pope Francis I steps up to a microphone and begins to speak.

 

Video footage reveal the smiling faces listen and nod.

 

He tells them what they want to hear.

 

In the course of his message, he tells them things they can only image and want to hear those words come out of someone’s mouth.

 

The world on a daily basis is an uphill battle.

 

The world’s trials and tribulations take their toll on every mortal soul.

 

The world’s economy is in the celestial toilet.

 

World leaders seem clueless at how to get the global economy up and running by restoring their own nation’s economies.

 

Foreign and domestic violence is always rampant, but the level of outright insanity of the individual violent acts, crimes and terrorists actions seems to be multiplying at an alarming rate.

 

The world’s religions preach their little messages of hope and a better life ahead to the deaf ears of the faithful and the rest of the citizens of the world.

 

The World is always crazy.

 

Now, The World has gone stupid.

 

Pope Francis I continues his message to the smiling faces, who absorb his words through the pores of their skin into their minds.

 

The Citizens Of The World are so hard up for a breather amidst the day-to-day insanity of Life that Pope Francis’ age-old Hippie economics message of the ancient world is like a hot shower that opens their skin’s pores and makes their souls feel renewed and “Reborn.”

 

Believers, non-believers, atheists, agnostics, Orthodox Christians, Jews, Christians, Muslims in speech footage of Saint Peter’s Square all seem “Mesmerized”by the simple words and the simple ideas of the sunlight through the leaves on to the ground of a young planet earth.

 

Browsing the Internet, you read messages, where people are rolling up their sleeves and ready to go to “Fist City” with other social media comment makers because, “The Pope ain’t Jesus Christ. The Pope can’t heal or cure nobody. The Pope can’t “Save” nobody.”

 

Religious propaganda has finally overwhelmed the world and people are beginning to drown in their own humility fantasies.

 

People seem ready to strip off their business suits and their blue collar uniforms, to slip on the sackcloth and ashes gowns and pick up the wooden walking staffs and stroll into the sheep pastures of antiquity in search of salvation and burning bushes.

 

Like lemmings to the sea, The Citizens Of The World seemed programmed to respond to “The One With Nature And All Men Are My Brothers”philosophy.

Like the children of the Pied Piper, Pope Francis I’s tantalizing notes is leading people skipping, dancing and laughing their way right out of the reality of the Real World into a lethargic limbo of willingly mindless submission.

 

Adolph Hitler, Joseph Stalin, Benito Mussolini,Ayatollah Khomeini, Saddam Hussein all got into people’s minds and programmed people using intense emotions, charismatic gestures and messages of hate to purse the selfish goals of the madman of the moment.

 

Madman Evangelist Jim Jones and David Koresh had the skills to mentally seduce people, but, neither had the “Propaganda Power” to persuade their flocks to journey the path of extinction, without resorting to violence.

 

Pope Francis I has trumped all the charismatic instigators of history by preaching love, mercy, and sacrifice to activate those quite,subtle human emotions to inspire the flock to move forward.

 

Perhaps, the pope is a good, humble man.

 

His message and public humility gestures have neutered the Common Sense of humanity at large and the majority of the Citizens Of The World seem to stand ready to do Pope Francis I’s bidding.

 

A single religious aristocratic absolute monarch of a city-state that is the smallest nation on earth has citizens and world leaders in the palm of his hand and everyone seems willing to follow his agenda.

 

Ironically, Pope Francis I has not commanded an army, navy, Marines, coast guard, reservists or an air force and he has conquered the world.

 

Telling people what they had hoped to hear has been the message that has robbed them of their Common Sense and made them sublime sheep, which wait for pontifical guidance to move forward in their Lives.

 

The world has been conquered without a single shot fired.

 

Words and gestures have disarmed critics and zombiefied humankind into puppets.

 

Perhaps, global selfless love will work.

 

However, I am a country boy, who worked in the woods, and nature’s reality of the physical laws remain survival of the species.

 

Saint Francis of Assisi may not have came face to face with to many cougars, coyotes and wolves wandering through his woods.

 

Yet, if The Citizens Of The World and world leaders wish to continue to be mesmerized into their state of pubescent children all I can do is watch.

 

Work – not wandering through the woods brings lasting change to Life.

 

I will make a pot of coffee.

 

Once this global hangover wears off you all will really need something strong to bring everyone back to the realistic sobriety of the Real World.

Sam

Samuel E. Warren Jr., The Prophet On Word Press

with 2 comments

Samuel E. Warren Jr.,

The Prophet

On

Word Press

by Samuel E. Warren Jr.

 

Every writer wants to make his mark in the world. Ernest “Papa” Hemingway, William Faulkner, P.D. James, Barbara Cartland, Agatha Christie, Erle Stanley Gardner, L.Ron Hubbard, Stephen King, Samuel Langhorne”Mark Twain” Clemens,Thomas Wolfe, John Ernst Steinbeck Jr., Robert Frost, Edgar Allen Poe and, now, Samuel E. Warren Jr.

 

The traditional way, of course, is to work as a newspaper reporter, editor, magazine writer, columnist, movie script author or playwright.

 

Thanks to the Internet, social media, software, hardware, computers,streaming video, cell phones and the electronic inventions from the 1970s through 2013 – tradition has changed.

 

Writers Write

 

I love to write.

 

My philosophy as a writer is simple: “Writers Write.”

 

Blog writers or authors may never be invited to book-signings like novelist authors.

 

However , blog writers electronic articles are posted in the vast never closes Library Of The Internet just waiting for someone to use a search engine – to find the listing tucked away in the virtual card catalog.

 

Lessons Of The Sam I Am Blog

 

I began my Sam I Am Blog around 2005 as a basic one person, weekly, and sometimes daily electronic newspaper.

 

It was never intended to be the “Dear Diary” of many websites but a collection of my writing and photographs.

 

I post stories,anecdotes, photos, opinions, editorials, commentaries, news reports, feature stories, short stories and a collection of my life experiences revealed in a variety of different formats.

 

I had toyed, for a few months, with the traditional stereotypical writer challenge of “The Great American Novel”.

 

I actually completed two novels written out in longhand in two different notebooks. The experience was fun, but time consuming. I put them on the shelf.

 

On my “Sam I Am Blog”, as of March 6, 2013, I had 275 post of articles and photos under my belt on that blog, This post, naturally, changed the number to 276.

 

I decided to try another writing project to add flexibility to my writing.

 

I wanted to do something controversial.

 

Politics And Religion

 

From the time I was a small boy my mother had always warned me, “Never Talk Politics And Religion In Public.”

 

On the surface, it is wise advice.

 

In a democracy like the United States Of America, you should find a way to talk politics and have your opinion heard. I believe what President Thomas Jefferson said about an “informed citizenry.”

 

Once you begin working you pay local, state and federal taxes, which means you pay the salaries of those politicians. Since you are putting their groceries on the table, there has to be a way to tell them what you think.

 

You should “talk politics”, but be wise about where you express your political views.

 

In the Real World, anytime you talk Politics or Religion, in public, you can sometimes watch an ordinary person transform before your eyes into a raving fanatical, lunatic.

 

Talk politics and people get upset. Their faces get red. They raise their voices. Their sentences become overloaded and bloated with dictionaries of cuss words and their tones climb well up into the decibel range.

 

Regardless of the political topic or issue, at the end of the day, a Democrat is a Democrat and a Republican is a Republican.

 

As long as alcohol and firearms are no where near the discussion area, most people will grumble away and come back another day to discuss or argue the merits of their issue, candidate or party.

 

When the dust has cleared all you have really done is waste time and found out ,in no uncertain terms, where a person stands.

 

Alas, Politics is essentially the age old Chevy versus Ford discussion.

 

Farmers who own Chevy and GMC pickups seldom have a nice word for Ford owners. Likewise, the “Ford Faithful” look down on the Chevy lovers.

 

Dodge and the owners of Japanese made pickups are looked at by the good ole boys of Chevy and Ford like, “What planet did you say you were from ?”

 

The Internet is a wonderful location. You find a virtual street corner and put down your soap box to stand upon. Then, you go into your best Voltaire and Robespierre

 

I, Sam The Democrat, keep my politics on my “Sam I Am Blog”. . .for now, anyway.

 

Momma The Mentor

 

 

I, Samuel E. Warren Jr., proudly proclaim myself a

 “Momma’s Boy.”

 

I could ask my mother any question and she would give me her honest opinion.

 

Momma never pull punches with me. If I was “In The Right”, then, she supported me tooth and nail.

 

If I was “In The Wrong”, Momma did her best to try and be the first one to tell me.

 

As a young man, I even asked Momma my “birds and bees questions” and she answered them.

 

My mother was a truly unique human, who lived her beliefs.

 

There was just one subject I could not get Momma to discuss with me: Religion.

 

I could never get my mother to discuss religion with me.

 

I did enjoy tossing out ideas and watching her shift around in her chair and try to change the subject.

 

Momma had been exposed to the Pentecost beliefs as a little girl, but, did not really practice those beliefs as an adult.

 

Every Human’s Achilles’ Heel

 

Thanks to Momma, I discovered The Achilles’ Heel Of Every Human On Planet Earth – Religion.

 

As a young boy, Momma had told me she would never tell me what to believe when it came to religion.

 

She held true to her word.

 

Through the years, I would run various religious ideas by her and her Midwest Ozarks upbringing made it obvious that Momma wasn’t fond of the idea, but, she never told me, “No.”

 

Through childhood, into the International Order Of DeMolay, into college and on to active duty in the United States Armed Forces, I came in contact with various people of numerous religions and faiths.

 

Through my life experiences, I have visited various churches, sit through sermons, Mass and lit incense in temples.

 

I never found “The Religion”, but I did discover “The Spiritual” in my Life.

 

In my Quest, I had to move past the salesmen and the recruiters and I did.

 

Religion’s Cereal Salesmen

 

Religion is like cereal, there are many boxes on the store shelves and they all come in different packaging and flavor. They all meet the minimum daily requirements.

 

I just never appreciated the self-righteous “salesmen” and the “quota recruiters”, who always tried to strong arm their way into my Immortal Soul.

Award a man or woman a sheepskin in religion and suddenly that person acts like they are “God’s Little Brother” or “God’s Little Sister” and they have all the answers.

 

The “Witnessing Religions” are the worst because they lead their religious associates to believe that they have to “spread the word” and carry out the “ministry”, so a man or woman starts to talk.

 

You listen. You can ask questions. But, if your questions have humor or any cynicism, sarcasm, or skepticism; then,”Lo, you are a disrespectful sinner”.

 

If one of your questions hits the aspiring apostle’s nerve or the devout disciple’s ego the wrong way, then, their facial expression changes and usually their voice rises and the person seems more offended and aggressive.

 

The serial salesmen don’t appreciate it when you call them on their “testimony.”

 

Their faith usually sends them out to do “testimonials” like a vacuum cleaner or a tractor salesman and you are suppose to be the good customer and not question company advertising and marketing.

 

After all, the salesmen and the recruiters have memorized the serials of stories and weren’t suppose to know if the product or service actually worked.

 

These testimonial people are serial salesman they can tell you an episode of Psalms, Deuteronomy, or whatever, but, they can’t actually tell you if Jesus ever went out on a date with a woman or Saint Peter’s wife’s middle name.

 

Through the years, I have learned, rather than risk teasing a hungry dog, who I will invariably,make foam at the mouth and angry – I smile and shut the door.

 

 

The Human Computer

 

Sometimes though Religion forgets it is “Food For The Soul” and not the Universal Hardwired Programming Of Each Individual Human On Planet Earth.

 

People can always choose to reformat their mental hard drives with Operating Systems of their own choosing and select or reject various upgrades to their programming based on their Life experiences.

 

The World’s Old Traditional Religions forget they are the FORTRAN, COBOL, assembly, and machine languages of past generations.

 

The sprite, peek and pope graphics of the early humans who were flesh and blood pizza boxes that were amazed by flashing cursors of light from lighting and swamp gas to St. Elmo’s Fire,

 

Like computers, people evolved over the years and Prometheus, got tweaked with enough intelligence to carry his own cigarette lighter and maybe even learn how to wire up a house.

 

Prometheus like other humans sought to expand their human programming on their own to reach out beyond Global Positioning Satellites to interface with God.

 

Meanwhile, while the old religions are still scratching their heads over the Apple IIe and the old Packard Bell 386 in the church, synagogue or mosque basement, people out in the Real World is glance at their Kindle readers, i Phones, and cell phones.

 

While religious officials may worry that they are becoming The 8 Track Tapes Of Humanity, people in the Real World wonder if they have the latest state of the art portable electronics to keep up with breaking news and check their email without switching their Internet Service Provider and upgrading to another cell phone plan.

 

The Vatican got Pope Benedict XVI a twitter account, which got canceled when he became the Emeritus Pope.

 

The old religions are working with the electronics, but they have yet to grasp the ASC II understanding that their doctrine and dogma has got to be upgraded to be saved into the evolving servers of the human mind.

 

Despite the technology of the Real World, there are humans, who get that Amiga formatted floppy and the MS-DOS 5.0 floppy loaded into their minds and they do not want to challenge or risk accidentally overwriting their religious beliefs.

 

Therefore, they backup their religious beliefs to a hard drive in their heads and ward off any ideas they consider worms, trojans, viruses or back doors to their hardwired religious beliefs.

 

Nuclear Religious Reality

 

A Religious discussion can get you hurt, hospitalized or, based on some news stories, in the United States and around the globe: DEAD.

 

The topic of Religion is essentially the equivalent of realizing that you are in possession of nuclear material and realizing that you have to handle it carefully otherwise you are at Ground Zero of Three Mile Island and Chernobyl.

 

Nonetheless, Religion is an important issue to every human on the planet because it always leads to a belief of some sort in an Afterlife.

 

I believe Religion is far more Nuclear than Politics.

 

Politics makes people angry because it takes money out of their wallets and purses, but people know they have to have some semblance of public order provided by government.

 

Otherwise, Life is a never-ending chaos of neighbor against neighbor for property and goods, which results in the legendary Hatfield and McCoys feuds that last for generations.

 

Politics ends at the tombstone.

 

Religion is one of those personal issues that goes to the core of the individual and challenges a person to examine their Immortal Soul.

 

Politics can lead to War; Religions start Wars.

 

Samuel The Prophet

 

I knew a religion blog would serve my curious and controversial needs.

 

 

I needed a catchy title. I got it.

 

I needed something to catch the eyes. I got it.

 

I posted some articles. I did it.

 

I post to the blog and wait for feedback and comments.

 

Publicity is always hard to achieve because it costs money.

 

Free publicity is rare.

 

Now, I have decided to do some publicity for my religion blog.

 

The Samuel E. Warren Jr., The Prophet” blog is on a Word Press website.

 

Word Choice

 

I decided the word, “Prophet” would probably take some religious people to “Defense Condition One status and have a klaxon going off inside their heads.

 

At DEFCON ONE, I would like to believe they will visit my blog and read through some of the articles.

 

In the Midwest, Moses is an old respected Holy Bible prophet.

 

For someone in the early 21st Century to use that hallowed, revered, respected, sacred English word, “Prophet,” would be ?

 

Heretical. Not really, because a word is just a word, but the meaning gives the word Life.

 

To call oneself a “Prophet” is Blasphemous ? Not really, because financial publications have run articles on “Profit Prophets” of Wall Street through the years.

 

However, the word, “Prophet” does catch your eyes and stimulates your mind.

 

The word choice of “Prophet ?”

 

I done did it.

 

The Samuel E. Warren Jr., The Prophet blog is a platform to look at religion.

 

I know I will not change anyone’s religion.

 

The purpose is not to convert anyone.

 

The purpose is to challenge religious ideas.

 

The purpose is to ask people to think.

 

The purpose is to inspire people to seek a religion that helps them in Life.

 

I challenge the traditional religions.

 

I’m the writer, editor and publisher, so I get to be “The Devil’s Advocate.”

 

Feel free to hit me with your “The Beast,” “The Anti-Christ”, “The Blasphemer,” “The Heretic” and other not so nice comments.

 

I have on my asbestos underwear, so I’m ready.

 

Keep in mind though that I do respond to comments left on my blogs.

 

If you want to look at other than traditional religious views, please, visit my “Samuel E. Warren Jr., The Prophet” blog on Word Press.

 

Sam

 

Link

 

Samuel E. Warren Jr., The Prophet

 

https://samuelewarrenjrtheprophet.wordpress.com/

Written by samwarren55

March 7, 2013 at 6:25 AM

Posted in Bloggers, Blogs, Business, Current Events, Editorial, God, Holidays, Money, Mythology, New Age, Observances, Opinion, Religion, Religion, Sam I Am, Soap Box Religious Opinion, Spiritual, The Ozarks

Tagged with , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Sam,God At The Tailor by Samuel E. Warren Jr.

with 5 comments

The Prologue

of

Book One and Book Two

 

Sam,God

At The

Tailor

by Samuel E. Warren Jr.

 

The handsome, well-dressed man in the tailor-made business suit sits relaxed in the chair in the small tailor shop.

 

He peers up at me through his fashionable glasses and smiles. He gestures to the chair, beside him, and I sit down.

 

God,” I whisper ?

 

In the flesh,” he chuckles. “Welcome to Luzon. Manila, actually. Technically, we are in a tailor shop in Bulacan,” he grins.

 

God turns his head and whispers, “Good Morning, Sam, Ole Buddy.”

I settle into a chair beside God. He nods at the young Asian tailor taking the measurements of the young boy.

 

God takes off his glasses and uses the frames to point at the young boy. “Fernando Dantes is getting measured for a new school uniform.

 

Tomas Tolentino, the young bespoke tailor, is learning the art of becoming a professional tailor. Tomas has five brothers and three sisters.”

 

God winks at me. “It is the Philippines. In this country, they really take the phrase, |”be fruitful and multiply,” to heart.

 

Obvious, economic considerations aside, Tomas is a dedicated young man, who is working hard to make a future for himself and is working on a plan to help support and educate his siblings,”

 

God looks at me. “I figured you had some things on your mind. The old year ending and the new one beginning.”

 

I frown. “I realized since I retired most people don’t even know I exist, but, my wife might miss me.”

 

God chuckles. “The nice thing about being The Creator Of The Universe is you have all the particle physics, quantum physics, string theory and all those other fancy,smancy scientific scholastic theories and natural laws that languish at the back of your mind.

 

Long story short. You are here. At home, there is a genetic golem that is your twin. Your stand-in clone will be you at that point until you return.

 

My clone ?”

 

God laughs. “Haven’t you ever wished there was more than one of you ?”

 

All the time. Especially, back in the days when I was on duty. I took that whole “Fate Of The Free World Rests On Your Shoulders” literally,” I admit.

 

Indeed, you did.” God admits.

 

Relax. I remember you made regular visits to a tailor shop in Okinawa. Even, in Thailand, you used free time to get suits made at the tailor.”

 

I nod. “In the single days, I believed clothes impressed the ladies. The suits did.” I smile. “I did appreciate my tailor-made suits and I loved the comfort and the fit,”

 

Young Dantes dashes past us and out the door. Tailor Tomas Tolentino smiles at God.

 

God points at me. “My friend is overdue for a new suit of clothes. It is my belated Christmas present to him.

 

Three Suits, three shirts, and three ties. Then, we’ll look at the handkerchiefs, shoes and accessories.”

 

Okay, Mr. Godwin.”

 

I step into position. The young tailor uses his cloth tape measure to take the measurements and write down the numbers in the notebook on the desk.

 

I know you have had a year of challenges,” remarks God, still sitting in the chair. “Give me an idea of where you want to head in the new year.”

 

Overwhelmed. All year long,” I remark, my arms outstretched for the tailor to take the measurements.

 

Everyday seemed like an uphill battle. The nice thing about the holidays is you crawl in your cave and lick your wounds,” I retort. God sits in the chair and jots notes in a small notebook,

 

I feel like a gun shy dog, who is shot at and missed. It is one of the few times in my life, where instead of moving forward, I want to turn around and walk back,” I explain.

 

The tailor slips the tape measure under my arms and around my chest. I put my arms down.

 

God nods. “What can I do ?”

 

I grin. “You are a big player in the world economy; fix it.”

 

He laughs. “Even as we speak, people are working on it. Actually, they are ‘arguing’ about it, but, sooner or later, they will have to settle down and be rationale.’

 

God stands up and watches the young tailor work. The tailor takes my neck measurement. I turn around. I feel the tape from the back of my shirt collar go down the small of my back to my belt. The young tailor jots the measurements in his notebook.

 

My guess is your business plan for the year is you want to get everyone on the same page and moving in the same direction,” remarks God.

 

Leadership is a challenge in any culture and when you have a language barrier that only complicates understanding.

 

One of the most difficult tasks is to try to get people to share and work toward a common dream.

 

The tailor measures around my waist and looks at the measurement. He looks up at me and smiles. He takes the waist measurement again.

 

Your tape measure is right. I’ve always been skinny. I’ve always had a slender waist,” I explain. The young tailor nods and jots down the measurement.

 

I shrug. “This year was rough. I feel empty. At this point, I look at the next year as “switch to auto pilot” and hope the turbulence does not slam me into a mountain.”

 

God nods. “It was a rough year for a lot of people. I’m surprised that you are still on the mat.”

 

I grin. “If you stay down, then, you don’t get beat up.”

 

Seriously, the lumps and bruises don’t heal as quickly when you get older. And, disappointment is a difficult emotion to deal with at any age.

 

The real pain is the disappointment, when you get in the ring, you swing for a dream. You figure out too late that the fight is fixed.

 

Everyone apparently thought they would hit it big; if we failed. We failed at what we tried to accomplish. The naysayers lost out too, which serves them right for their lack of support.

 

I was naive. As a child, I learned to give people the benefit of the doubt. As an adult, I should have been more pragmatic and cynical about my fellow citizens,”

 

In the 20th Century people had The Cold War and The Atom Bomb Paranoia. Still, families usually stuck together, despite the persistent paranoia.

 

The early 21st Century seems to have become a global “Dog Eat Dog” culture that relies on the selfish paranoia of the individual, rather, than the strength of family.

 

The young tailor measures the cuff of the trousers and glances up at me.

 

Tomas, you have to forgive my friend he is an old skeptical reporter turned philosopher,” smiles God. The young man nods,

 

The young tailor makes a few quick pen strokes to sketch out the overall design on the notebook page and smile up at me.

 

I have your measurements, sir. Do you want to go ahead and choose the material for your suits.”

 

God speaks up. “I’ll choose the cloth and the fabrics.” I step over and sit in the chair.

 

God takes off his sport jacket and lies it across the desk. He removes his cuff links and puts them in his left trouser pocket. Then, he turns up the sleeves and steps into position.

 

The young tailor smiles. “Mr. Godwin, I already have your measurements.”

 

God grins. “I know. The holidays. I always tend to put on weight, which makes my shirts and trousers tighter.

 

I think we need to revisit my neck size, my last blue satin dress shirt is a perfect fit, but. I think the neck size is about a quarter of an inch too tight, even unbuttoned.”

 

The young man nods and goes to work with his tape measure.

God looks at me. “The Manila to Tacloban City cargo truck idea wasn’t a bad idea.”

 

A day and a half to two days to transport cargo from Manila to Tacloban City is a decent idea,” I admit.

 

Of course, you have to consider the condition of the roads. The wear and tear on the vehicles,and even though it is the tropics, weather conditions are still a factor.

 

Heat, in terms of temperature. Salt, in terms of salt air and how it works on steel and iron, in terms of a truck chassis.

 

Employees means you have to know how many you need, especially, mechanics to keep the trucks on the road.

 

How expensive are the trucks going to be ? Do you buy, rent or lease the trucks ?”

 

God smiles. “You did your homework.”

 

I nodded. “It was a great idea on paper. Of course, the devil is always in the details.

 

The big detail is everyone had details to add to the idea and project. The day to day operating budget only pointed in one direction: mine. I was not in the mood to change my last name to Risk.”

 

Christy has a good head for business on her shoulders,” God acknowledges.

 

She does. She knows how to put any project together and get it to work as long as people are willing to work with her,” I admit.

 

Teamwork isn’t always a concept that translates. Sometimes people only see the short=range quick peso. People don’t always see The Big Picture of trying to build for the future.”

 

The new year means I’ll stick to what I do best – writing and photography.” I grin. “Perhaps, I will inspire someone.”

 

The young tailor puts the tape measure around God’s chest a second time and looks at the measurement.

 

God laughs. “It is all the fruitcake and egg nog of the holidays. The food and drink does a number on the physique.”

 

God straightens up and looks forward for a moment. He glances at me.

 

Another year of writing and photography, then,” He asks ?

 

It is what you put me here to do,” I observe.

 

He smiles. “You, my son, thought you could make a difference in the world by the stories you would write.”

 

The foolish optimism of youth, no doubt,” I reply.

 

God chuckles. “That is what I admire about ‘youth’ the ‘utopian optimism’ to look at the world and see what it should be and not what it really is,” remarks God.

 

The young tailor carefully takes the measurements and then takes them again before jotting them down.

 

God remarks, “Now, that the holidays are ending, I guess it is time to hit the gym again.” He winks at me.

 

The young tailor jots down the measurements on the notebook and steps through a back door in the shop.

 

God fidgets with the open collar of his dress shirt. “I could use a little more starch in this shirt,” He observes.

 

I appreciate the suits and shirts,” I admit rising out of the chair. “I’m curious though, I figure with the whole switch from one year to the next you would have your hands full.”

 

God glances over his shoulder. “Nice thing about ‘The Creator Job’ after ages of new years, millennium scares and the whole switch from one year to the next, “ God pauses for a moment to listen for the tailor’s footsteps.

 

You kind of get your procedures down and know how to roll with the flow.”

 

God looks at his reflection in the shop window and raises up his chin and turns his head from side to side. “Human life is often about image.”

 

I always enjoy my fittings at the tailor. Your tailor is meticulous in creating your suit,” remarks God.

 

You look good in the suit, but, every time you put on the suit; it is the tailor’s reputation that stands out to the world.

 

Tailors and dressmakers may well be the last bastions of craftsmanship left in The Real World,” proclaims God.

 

Tailor Tolentino comes out of the back with two suits in plastic bags. He beams. “Mr. Godwin, your suits are ready.”

 

God smiles like a little boy at Christmas. The young tailor motions to the dressing room. “Feel free to try them on and see if I need to make any alterations.”

 

God takes the suits and walks toward the dressing room.

 

You and Mr. Godwin are friends,” the young tailor asks ?

 

We have been friends for so many years, I can’t even begin to count all the years,” I remark.

 

He has a very definite opinion on fashion and what he wants.”observes the tailor.

 

I nod. “It is safe to say, you will never meet anyone with more style and panache. He knows what he likes. He knows what he doesn’t like.”

 

Mr. Zeus Godwin is definitely a man, who knows the value of a peso and how to get every centavo out of it.”

 

God steps out in the double breasted gray business suit with the slender pin stripe. “This is a masterpiece ! The fit is exquisite.”

 

God grins and rubs a button. “I can pick this suit up on Tuesday of next week. I would like you to take a look at the buttons.

 

My thought is the thread might not be strong enough. You might want to check with an older tailor, I believe it was beeswax that was added to thread to make it stronger.

 

Beeswax,” remarks the young tailor. God steps back into the dressing room to try on the other suit.

 

The young tailor looks at me.

 

I smile. “Mr. Zeus Godwin, knows all. Mr. Zeus Godwin sees all,” I tease.

 

The fact that he is here means you must really be a tailor of merit.”

 

The young man shrugs and smiles. “It is one of those strange stories of Life. The day I went to be measured for my first school uniform. The tailor was being precise in his fitting of a priest in a robe.

 

The tailor checked the hem a couple of times and adjusted how the robe draped on the priest’s instep.

 

The priest told the tailor it was a great fit, but, the tailor convinced the priest to let him make a couple of alterations.

 

Suddenly, a high-ranking Philippine National Police officer and his wife rushes into the shop.

 

The woman was in tears. The poor lady she was coming apart at the seams. She was talking mile a minute Tagalog and crying like it was the end of the world.

 

The man had a doomed looked and put his dress uniform on the desk. The woman had heard of an inexpensive tailor, who could do uniforms in a rush. She had convinced her husband to go to the tailor.

 

I watched the tailor calm the woman down and look over the uniform with the officer.

 

The officer tried on the uniform. The pants were waiting for the flood pants,” smiles the young tailor.

 

The jacket was tight through the chest and the sleeves were short. The uniform look like it had shrunk in a washing machine.

 

My mother put her hand over my mouth, so no one could see me laugh.

 

The tailor hunkered down and used his tape measure to check the hem in the pant’s legs.

 

Then, he stood up and went and took the jacket off the mannequin in the window.

 

He held it up to the officers back to check the width of the shoulders. Then, he suggested the officer try on the jacket.

 

In a few moments, the officer returned and the tailor checked the balance of the jacket and the sleeve length. I saw the officer smile.”

 

The young tailor smiles. “It was a complete catastrophe. Yet, the tailor assured the officer that he could fix the length of the pants and make a slight alteration to the jacket, so the officer would have the uniform for the next morning.”

 

The young tailor closes the notebook on his desk and looks at me. “Like they say, that is the rest of the story.

 

I started hanging out around the tailor shop and noticed how happy people where and how they smiled when they had on a shirt, suit or dress that was made for them.”

 

Pure Michelangelo,” chimes God stepping forward in the navy blue business suit.

 

He flicks the lint off the sleeve and smiles. God smiles at the buttons on the suit sleeve cuff. “Savile Row. The last time I wore a business suit that felt this comfortable I had it tailored for me on Savile Row.”

 

God nods. “Now, let’s look at the bolts of cloth and pick out the material for the shirts.”

 

Tailor Tomas Tolentino smiles. “Wait just a moment, I have put some material back for your next visit, Mr. Godwin.” The tailor turns and steps out the back.

 

God looks at me. “Are you ready for the new year ?”

 

Ready or not, it will come,” I tease.

 

That it will,” God grins. “You put one foot in front of the other and move forward like you always do. You will be back up and running in no time,” God advises.

 

I nod. “I know, no one is getting any younger. I just want to be able to look at myself in the mirror and realize that this is the point in life that I am suppose to be at.”

 

It is the assurance that your journey in Life brings you to a point to where you feel you are suppose to be.”

 

I nod my head up and down. “Now, I get why God takes me with him to a new tailor.”

 

To shoot the breeze with a mortal and do the cosmic male bonding routine,” teases God.

 

Perhaps.” I grin. “I would interpret it as a Life lesson. When Life doesn’t fit, don’t hesitate to make alterations.

 

Everyday may seem like it is off the rack, but, you should be able to tailor it to fit.”

 

Hemmed in and restricted by seams; you need to find a way to let it out and add some elastic to life.”

 

You shouldn’t always feel like Life is ready to wear and you don’t get to make any changes or decisions.”

 

If you get steamed, relax; you can iron out the wrinkles in your Life.”

 

Like a tailor, take your measurements, look at your patterns and decide how you want your Life to be sewn together.”

 

If you need help, find the tailor, or the professional, who can help you do the job.”

 

In the grand scheme of the Universe, Life can be tailored to allow you to dress for success in almost any event.”

 

God laughs. “Writers. I love you guys and gals. You take a simple act and put universal meaning to it,” remarks God. He lowers His eyeglasses and winks.

 

The tailor returns with the cloth. God smiles, “Now, for the dress shirts.”

Sam

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons license.

Sam,God,Satan New Year Proposal by Samuel E. Warren Jr.

leave a comment »

 

Book Two

Sam,

God,

Satan,

The

New Year

Proposal

TICK TOCK TRAVEL TIME_resized

 

by Samuel E. Warren Jr.

God brought me to a Time and Space Dimension, outside the realm of The Real World.

 

God and Satan sometimes “Shoot The Breeze.”

 

Today, New Year’s Eve, God decided to select a human to attend the session.

 

It is obvious, that this brainstorming session is setting the stage for A New Year’s celebration unlike any other.

 

Satan did not like the location, so He teleported all of us to His penthouse in another dimension.

 

God in his white tuxedo seems to have a New Year’s Proposal in mind.

 

God crushes out his cigar butt in the ashtray and finishes off His brandy. He stands up.

 

Satan, Ole Buddy. You are just too serious. It is time to lighten up and party. I’m thinking a uniform change is in order,” teases God.

 

No !” Satan shrieks. “No ! I sense where you are going. The idea is not warranted and it certainly is not funny.’

 

God spread His legs into a Parade Rest stance and lifts up His head. A supreme ball of intense white light radiates from within His solar plexus.

 

Satan smirks, “His sense of humor will be the death of me one of these centuries.”

 

The rays of light cascade around God’s human form for a moment and then vanish.

 

Call me, ‘Goddess,” proclaims God, who now, stands embodied in the form of a tall, large redheaded woman in a floor-length eveining gown.

 

Satan shakes his head, “You just had to be a Momma’s Boy; didn’t you.”

 

An unseen force thrusts Satan back and He is on His knees on the floor staring up into a pillar of intense energetic blue light. “Alright. Alright. I get it.”

 

The light vanishes. Satan stands up in the stance that God had used. An intense orb of yellow, then, orange, then, blue light casts our rays around His body. “This isn’t funny,” he groans.

 

Satan drops to his knees and stretches out on the floor. The light radiates under Him against the floor for a moment and then vanishes.

 

A large, tall black woman lies on the floor in the place of Satan.

 

Goddess sashays over and looks down. “The process requires an intense amount of focused energy. If you don’t fight it; it is harmless. Poor Satan, all these centuries and sometimes He forgets to roll with the flow.

 

Satan slowly sits up. “Call Him, Santanna,” remarks God. God reaches down a hand.

 

A flustered Santanna rises to her feet. “i can do it. You and your silly little jokes and pranks.”

 

Goddess grins, “When I do it; it is jokes and pranks. When Satan does it, of course, it is procedure, rules, regulations, i.e., business.”

 

Why,” asks Santanna ?

 

In this dimension of Time And Space, we did The Universal Macho Male Bonding Exercise,” smiles God.

 

You guessed it, Santanna. Sam is a Momma’s Boy. In his Real World dimension, he can and does relate to a woman, whom he trusts, loves and respects. Santanna you are long overdue to feel some human emotion.”

 

Santanna looks down at the evening gown.

 

Goddess steps back and looks at Her evening gown. “Exquisite.”

 

She smiles at me. “Since I plucked this design out of your mind, Sam, you get to explain it.

 

Santanna moans, “Great. Time out for Fashion Week In The Mythic Zone.”

 

I know my terms won’t be fashion terms, but, I’ll try to explain the style and design. Goddess wear a full-length evening gown of satin blue.

 

The bodice is, essentially, a strapless bustier. It is an exaggerated M design to suggest the natural peaks and valleys of a woman’s breast.

 

The M provides two functions. First, it calls attention to the breasts. Second, it can provide a Public or a Privacy function.

 

If you wish to suggest, but not reveal, then, you choose the Superheroine Style that stiffly towers over the breasts and casts a shadow to conceal them.

 

Goddess wears “This is The Freedom Of The Press Style. “ The wearer has nothing to hide.

 

The large M cut design simply shields the breasts behind reinforced comfortable material. The design is suppose to gently lift the breasts and allow them to rest on a comfortable material shelf that feels as natural as if a woman is lifting up her own breasts.

 

To provide the support a woman’s breasts stand out like the prow of a ship. “The design to allow the breast to stick out forward is intentional. Men are men. Women are women. God purposely designed the bodies to be different.

 

The physique of a man’s body and the physique of a woman’s body should always be celebrated.

 

Under the breast is layers of cottonballs arranged to provide a cushion to allow the breasts to stick out forward and rest comfortably. It is the only idea I could come up with to replace an underwire. I’m sure someone in the industry can refine the design.

 

Santanna snickers, “We get it, Sam. You are a breast man.”

 

Goddesses frowns at Santanna.

 

I step out and gesture at the cup area of the evening gown. “If I knew more about synthetics, then, I might have been able to suggest a Kevlar, diamond, lycra or latex alloy or composition that would be sewn into the lining and really protect the breasts from injury.”

 

I point to the bodice. “The body of the garment is suppose to be comfortable because at a formal social fuction then you should look impressive and still be comfortable.”

 

My concern is the way the material is gathered together at the small of the back. I had hoped the overall design would allow for a more natural flow like how drapes hang straight down.”

 

It looks like some of the material may have been bunched and is creating an unnatural padding situation. Perhaps, a heavier weight of satin would provide the vertical flow, although sharkskin would probably be cheaper and maybe easier to work with.”

 

Regardless, I chose to embed two structural supports at the side of the garment to allow the bra section to remain suspended. When a woman puts her arm down to her side you do not see the support.

 

I believe with an evening gown a woman should have the matching gloves that extend half way up past the elbow.

 

I step to the back of Goddess. “The back is open to reveal the shoulder blades. I imagined this peaked V at the bottom of the bustier bodice, to allow the material to flow natually over the posterior.” I hunker down tto show how the material hangs down to the instep. “At least, the design rides to an inch or two above the instep.”

 

I look up and Santanna shakes Her head. “Sam, you really need to get out of the house more often.”

 

Goddess reaches down and help me to my feet. “Pay no attention, Sam. Some people and some entities are just wet blankets.”

 

Goddess winks and whispers. “I think you are on to something. You should sketch it out on paper and go from there.”

 

I shrug. “Basically, it was just a mental exercise. You see an actress at the Academy Awards on TV and you imagine designing her a more eye-catching andcomfotable gown.”

 

Santanna claps and steps forward. “I’m really going to be interested in how you explain this design.”

 

Like the previous evening gown, it draws attention to the woman’s breasts. It has the strapless M design.

 

The inverted W calls attention to without demanding attention. The red satin evening gown material flows down to full-length.

 

I etched in embroidery at the side seams of the bra to outline the front panel of the dress.

 

The gold embroidery suggests an Oriental flavor. I used oversized peal snaps at the seams to suggest a Western flavor.”

 

I open one of the snaps. “ The snaps work. They are in line from the armpit to the top of the hip. Two rows of three snaps are above the top of the hip to prevent the dress from accidentally coming apart in public.

 

This is my East Meets West Evening Gown.”

 

The front panel hangs down. The two inch wide Oriental design originates at the top of the hips from the bottom of the structural piping and flows down, along the bottom and up the other side.”

 

I step back and point at the thigh. “ The graduated slit of the evening gown allows the wearer seductive freedom of movement. Here, of course, Santanna has decided to go with black hose garters to Her nylons.”

 

Santanna steps forward thrust around Her shoulders and casts a seductive look over Her shoulder. “I have to hand it to you, preacher man, you really know how to design a comfortable evening gown.”

 

Then, Santanna winks, “You are going to have to pay attention to the shoes though. “

 

High heels may go with everything, but they are not always the comfortable footwear choice.”

 

I step back and look at Goddess and Santanna. “Thank you.”

 

For what,” smirks Santanna ?

 

It is always nice to see an image from your imagination in The Real World. . .or, at least, in a realistically virtual dimension.

 

Goddess smiles and steps back. She lifts up Her hair and it flows. She smiles into the ornate silver full-length mirror.

 

Roman women’s formal hairstyles were hard to beat. They did make every woman look like a goddess.” Goddesses’ hair finishes and a large silver ornamental comb appears at the back of the hairstyle.

 

Santanna smirks at Goddess. “The Punk Rocker, Spike and Mohawk look I take it are out for this evening gown.”

 

Fine.” Santanna firmly plants her feet on the floor and the scattered strands of hair rise to create a formal Korean hairstyle.

 

The large ornamental gold and jade dragon comb appears in the hair.

 

You know, professor, I think, I’m going to spend more time looking in on your mind.

 

I got a tall, busty, black bodybuilder physique out of your subconscious. The end result is I like how this dress hangs and swings on my body.”

 

Santanna don’t try to intimidate Sam. It is New Year’s Eve. We want to party. I think Sam is in the inner reflection mode.

 

Goddess gestures to me. I step up and take her hand. Santanna steps up and takes mine. “Relax, human. You ain’t my type.”

 

I step forward and the two buxom women in evening gowns stroll toward my front porch.

 

Goddess laughs. “Relax, Sam. You don’t have to worry about your neighbors. We are still doing the old spatial time displacement routine. We are at a level in your world, but we are still transparent.

 

Santanna staggers around on the heels and finally reaches the porch. Santanna takes off the heels and drops them on the porch.

 

The guests in the Real World look for the disembodied sound. Santanna smirks.

 


“Shoes, gentlemen. If we ever play this game again. We bring along a shoe designer.”

 

Santanna sits on a porch railing and begins to massage her feet. “My dogs hurt.”

 

Santanna roughly massages the bottoms of her feet. “Ouch,”

 

Santanna stands up and looks at the evening gown.

 

Well, if I have to be in this ridiculous skin wearing this ridiculous get up I really want to look like a woman. . .”

 

Santanna thrusts out her hip and places her hand on it. “Goddess is American 38G Cup,” Santanna proclaims and smiles.

 

Santanna’s breasts start to grow. “Santanna will be an American 40 G Cup,” Santanna proclaims.

 

Santanna swishes her hips and walks up behind me to breathe on my neck. Santanna whispers her best Mae West voice in my ear, “What do you think, big boy ?”

 

Goddess rises and walks forward. “Stand down, Santanna. If only the humans of earth could see The Ultimate Evil Of The Universe has gender issues. And, He, She still has trouble playing it off.”

 

Santanna nods. “Fine. Gender switch is an issue with me. Lilith will scatter my atoms across the universe if she sees me like this.”

 

God laughs. “You are immortal.”

 

And, Lilith is creative,”

 

God nods. I step forward and Pseudo Sam, the genetic golem, becomes a part of me.

 

I stand back in The Real World. I smell the food and notice the hunger in my stomach.

 

I sit down at the head of the table. Goddess stands to my right and places Her hand on my shoulder. Santanna stands to my left and places Her hand on my shoulder.

 

I express my Real World appetite. The Universal Energy flows in a circle inside me. I look at the porch railing in the distance and there is the momentary reflection of Goddess and Santanna standing by my side.

 

Once everyone finishes eating. The men move to an area to talk. The women sit at the table and talk. I step to the porch, look out into the night and light a cigarette,

 

I exhale the smoke.

 

Suddenly, my golem strolls toward the men.

 

Goddess, Santanna and I watch. “The TV is tuned to the New Year’s Eve countdown. The men are drinking tuba and the women are drinking wine.

 

Even without the spatial time dimension, I doubt anyone would notice us,” remarks Goddess,

 

Oh, no, Goddess. The way you look in that evening gown, you would definitely stand out, “I comment.

 

Goddess smiles. “This is New Year’s Eve. My wife is shopping somewhere in Paris for the evening and your wife, , ,” Goddess looks at Santanna.

 

She is at some party in Florence or Milan. She mentioned something about swinging by Greenwich Village or Haight Ashbury. I swear that goddess is lost without the 1960s.

 

We had better watch Lilith or She is going to gesture and re-create Woodstock right next to The Dome Of The Rock in The Holy Land,”

 

Goddess laughs. “Lilith isn’t the loose cannon, you think She is. You just get jealous whenever She negotiates a successful business deal that you overlooked. Bottom line, She has better control of her emotions than you do.”

 

Santanna leans against the porch railing and massages the bottom of Her feet, “I’m getting out of this ridiculous evening gown.”

 

You will do no such thing,” admonishes Goddess !

 

Relax,Satan ! Every millennium or so, we owe it to ourselves to do something unusual for New Year’s Eve. Who says we can’t put a little Halloween into New Year’s ?”

 

Santanna eases her right foot down on the porch, “I did like the feel of my tux.”

 

Goddess shakes her head. “You are not fooling anybody, Satan.”

 

While you have one presence here, I am aware that you are have your cloned presence suited up in a variety of tuxedos and dinner jackets and are in attendance at various New Year’s Eve Parties around the globe.”

 

Santanna grins. “The problem with being the Dark Half Of The Creator is I am the half, which means that you always know what I am up to.”

 

Goddess laughs. “Ah, the challenge of being a twin.”

 

Santanna slides off the railing and limps around in Her stocking feet. “With only a little time left until the New Year, I’m curious. If you aren’t going to pursue a career as a shoe designer in the New Year; do you have a direction?”

 

I nod. “Yes.”

 

Goddess smiles. “Speak your mind, Sam. Satan’s bark is often worse than His bite. He does have a talent for getting the right people to spread the word to enhance His “EVIL” reputation.”

 

Goddess smiles, “But, even with a reputation; sometimes you have to put your money where your mouth is. He usually comes up short on the follow through.”

 

Says you,” smirks Santanna.

 

Actually, I was going to give Satan credit for snakes, lawyers, Rap music, jocks and computer games,” I smile.

 

Goddess chuckles. Santanna bursts out in laughter and gestures. The porch lengthens and a round dining table with a lace table cloth appears.

 

Two bottles of champagne are in the silver chilled ice buckets standing by the table. A bucket of ice with tongs sits in the middle of the table.

 

Santanna grins at Goddess, “You might want to do your thing and slow time in The Real World. This sounds like fun.”

 

Goddess nods. I notice people in The Real World dimension, do seem to be moving slower.

 

We sit at the table. “I give you credit for snakes. A truly worthless lifeform that causes problems, spreads venom and kills numbers of people each year.”

 

Since the snake bite fatalities of a single incident don’t rank up there with bomb explosions; humanity at large doesn’t pay attention.”

 

Santanna nods. “They are worthless. I figured within a week, the slow-witted humans of old would have had them wiped out from the planet.

 

Of course, it only took one fool to look at a snake and decide it reminded him of a certain part of his anatomy.”

 

Santanna laughs. “There have always been stupid people in the world. But, for an ancient twit to look at an ugly snake and make that connection is the height of stupidity.

 

Of course, other slug-witted humans come along and the next thing you know, the nuisance creation genetic material is being plugged in as a symbol in stories and religious cults.”

 

Santanna hold up Her hand and the silver cigarette case appears. “Lawyers,” smirks Goddess. Santanna lights her cigarette and offers me one. I accept. I light the cigarette and exhale.

 

Lawyers,” I smile.

 

Granted. A lawyer does solve problems. The catch is when they solve a problem, often they are only setting things up to create more and bigger problems.

 

Humanity will never evolve to the point to where people can compromise, so, unfortunately, you will always need the occupation of a lawyer in humanity.”

 

Santanna grins, “Rap music is cuss words set to noise.”

 

I nod. “Simple. When it starts up, the promoters whine that once society rejected to rock and roll, jazz and other forms of music. No one wants to be guilty of stopping a valid art form, so suddenly you have rhythmic noise pulling down big bucks,” I decree.

 

Santanna leans across the table and looks me in the eye, “Jocks ?”

 

I lean across the table and look Santanna in the eye.

 

Pure Satanic Genius,” I grin.

 

The gladiators were true athletes, who used their brain and brawn to earn their freedom,” I point out. Santanna and Goddess nod.

 

I lean back in the chair and blow a smoke ring. “A jock is a man or woman, who never grows up. As a child, they are usually a bully or hang out with bullies.

 

They may make tons of money playing in public, but, they never really do anything for anyone other than themselves.

 

People buy into the whole silly fairy tale because it is suppose to be physical fitness.

 

Jocks are just supreme time wasters that drags along tons of people with them to waste their money and lives on primitive grunt and groan theatrics,” I explain.

 

Santanna laughs loudly and wipes at a tear in Her eye.

 

Goddess lights a cigarette. “Sam, why do you think Satan created computer games.”

 

I was yanking His chain,” I grin.

 

Computer games can be important to teach hand and eye coordination and to teach someone how to use a computer, the Internet and other tasks,” I explain.

 

A major downside of humanity is how quickly humanity can get addicted to something.

 

Whether a computer game is simple or complex, if the right person sits down in front of the screen, hours of their lives slip away wasted and unused.”

 

Everyone fights boredom. Computer games are a great way to fight it.”

 

When the entertainment becomes an obsession then it is a habit, which is an addiction, which is basically a way to waste large chunks of your life. Everything in moderation.” I smile.

 

Santanna laughs loudly. Goddess exhales smoke and grins. “I have a game for you.” Goddess winks. “If you were granted immortality and God status, what would you change ?”

 

World peace,” teases Santanna

 

I shake my head. “World Peace is a silly fantasy. No way to achieve it on an earth full of humans,” I retort.

 

Really,” inquires Santanna. “Do tell.”

 

God could wave His hand and walah, suddenly there would be Peace throughout the world.

 

Peace is boring. Everyone would deal with their happy, happy, joy,joy modes for a few hours, days, weeks, months. Humanity might even make it to a decade.”

 

Sooner or later, one person, a few people, or a group will get upset or disgruntled over something. Dissension Discontent, Disappointment, Discord. Disagreement.”

 

I shrug. “Whether it is one person, a few people or a group; once people don’t see eye to eye on an issue and they can’t reach an agreement, then, the stage is set for all that negative energy to grow and multiply.

 

World Peace is an unrealistic fantasy of humanity.”

 

Santanna lies back in the chair and points at Goddess. “If you did have immortality and God-like powers what would you do ?”

 

I smirk. “Grant my wife, immortality and God status.”

 

I inhale and exhale the smoke. “Then, I would convince Christy move to a distant planet in the universe. There we could try to enjoy our immortality.

 

Of course, once we got to the planet, we might give up the immortality to return to a mortal life. Life without end, never sounds as attractive in your senior years as it does in your youth.”

 

Santanna waves her cigarette. “Humanity. If you had to use your God powers for humanity what would you do ?

 

Honest,” I ask ?

 

Honest,” grins Santanna.

 

I look at Goddess. “I would thank God for the magnificent opportunity, but I would request not to be given The Power.”

 

Yeah, right,” smirks Santanna. “You have been offered The Power to be a God and you turn it down.”

 

I nod. “As a child, I was optimistic about humanity. I have lived in The Real World.

 

People don’t want to be “Holy.” People just want to live their lives.

 

People don’t even really care about “The Big Picture” issues of Life unless they think it will affect them.”

 

At Christmas, people go out of their way to help the homeless. Pick any day of the year before the Christmas season and people usually ignore or don’t think about the homeless.”

 

There are people, who can live their lives and still help others.”

 

You don’t know where to start,” grins Santanna ?

 

I wish I could be more optimistic about the human race,” I smile.

 

Unfortunately, in the Grand Scheme Of Gods, You, Satan have The Best Job. You get to put obstacles in front of people and challenge them to overcome them.”

 

I look at Goddess. “With all due respect, God has the worst job because He gives people the benefit of the doubt and tries to help them.

 

People usually only really drop to their knees to “worship”, during an extreme personal crisis. God always gets the short end of the stick.”

 

Santanna frowns. “You want my job ?”

 

No. It is obvious you, Satan, enjoy your job immensely.”

 

If I had The Power and could fly, teleport between dimensions, change the molecular structure of items just by thinking or wishing about them. . .obviously, all these aspects of The Power would be great to have.”

 

Imagine being a human with super hero powers. The catch is the universe expects you to use those powers to help your fellow humans.”

 

But, when you try to help one human, then, sometimes you cause problems for another human. It is a proverbial, endless loop cycle,”

 

The temptation, then, is to become just a selfish God intent on satisfying your own needs.

 

You can be human and be selfish; you don’t need God-like powers to be selfish,” I explain.

 

I shrug. “I want to live out my little,mortal Life and then go Permanent Change Of Station into The Afterlife.”

 

Goddess leans on the table and looks me in the eyes. “If you were offered The Power Of Creation And Immortality To Be A God; you would reject it ?”

 

I nod. “Yes.”

 

Where humanity is concerned. Evolution is a slow process. Earth is a classroom. People live and learn lessons. “

 

I doubt humanity will ever evolve anywhere near being “Holy” or a God-like status. It is too easy for humans to get sidetracked by trivial issues in The Real World.”

 

Santanna grins. “I have to hand it to you, human. It is rare, when I meet a human, who has actually examined their hopes and dreams.”

 

Goddess rises from the table and walks around the porch. Santanna watches.

 

Santanna looks around. “Retirement is nothing like you expected,” Santanna asks ?

 

Not in my wildest dreams,” I reply and open one of the cold bottles of rum.

 

Can I help,” offers Santanna ?

 

Probably not,” I grin.

 

Santanna snickers, “You’re still holding that Misawa Air Base thing against me; aren’t you ?”

 

I nod. “Until The Day Eternity Ends.”

 

Santanna shrugs. “Life is a slow pace in the country, huh ?”

 

I nod. “I’m not going to ask for your help, if that is what you are waiting for. I simply, don’t have any issues that require your level of expertise,” I smile.

 

Nothing,” whines Santanna ?

 

I sip the rum. “For the last year, it has been frustrated dealing with the electric company.

 

But, electric companies, internet service providers, cell phone companies, telephone companies, satellite companies – they are all alike. They give you ho-hum service and send you a huge bill each month.”

 

The electric company. Is that a request ?”

 

No. It is not a request,” I emphasize.

 

I understand the challenges the electric company faces. Weather, terrain, budget – I know all those issues play into the kind of service a company can provide. I get it.”

 

Nonetheless, every business in the world ends up with the dead weight employees, who get their game down pat. They don’t rock the boat and stay under the radar.

 

The dead weights go high enough to be comfortable, but, never high enough to be noticed. Then, they sit back and “Fat Cat” off the system. They collect a paycheck for the least amount of work possible.”

 

Santanna smiles, “You think one of the electric companies in Leyte has gone ‘Fat Cat’?”

 

I shrug. “As a human, I’m not impressed by their so-called service.”

 

I’m sure an Immortal, perhaps, a God, might have the opportunity to see behind the press releases.”

 

Santanna leans across the table and grins. “Are you sure this is not a request ?”

 

This is not a request,” I emphasize.

 

I am simply calling your attention to a matter that may have escape the attention of God and Satan.

 

I’m sure one of you or both of you might check out the matter when you have time on your schedule,” I explain.

 

Santanna sits up in the chair and sips Her liqueur, “Sam, do you think we will do any business in the coming year ?”

 

I shrug. “Anything is possible, I guess.” I reply.

 

Good enough,” grins Santanna.

 

Goddess returns and sits down at the table. “Remodeling ? Renovation ? What are you thinking,” asks Goddess ?

 

Inspiration,” I reply. “Once I am inspired I will move ahead with an idea.”

 

My wife, Christy is a pro-active person. She has an idea; she goes for it. My drawback is I stroll toward an idea. I don’t charge, head-first into it.

 

The last couple of years. I have tried to be a nice guy and be kind of laid back.”

 

In the New Year, I’m going to pursue the dream Christy and I want. I’m ready,” I proclaim.

 

Santanna holds up her hand and an open bottle of Benedictine brandy appears. A glass appears in her hand and She pours the liquid. “I like the irony.”

 

The story s that the Benedictine monks came up with the drink. The story isn’t true, but, it has been told so often that the brandy is associated with the monks,” Santanna teases and takes a swig.

 

A champagne flute appears in Goddess’ hand and She sips. “A few minutes until the New Year,”

 

A cold bottle of rum appears in my hand. I sip.

 

Goddess leans against me and whispers, “Remember, even in the tropics, there is a colds and flu season.”

 

Goddess steps forward and stands in front of me. She looks me in the eyes.

 

Your mother asks that I pass along her love,” smiles Goddess, who raises Her arms and an intense beam of light radiates from each palm into my body for about five minutes.

 

Santanna stands up and steps to the other side of the table. She uses her half-filled crystal glass to point at the TV screen. “The countdown to the New Year has started.”

 

I stand up. Goddess winks at me. “You will be okay.”

 

Everyone yells, “Happy New Year !”

 

I stand near the TV. Everyone is shouting, “Happy New Year !”

 

I embrace and kiss my wife, Christy.

 

I look up.

 

A cold shiver runs up my spine, I hear Santanna’s whispered smirk in my ear, “Go get ’em, country boy !”

 

A feeling of warmth causes me to turn and look at the porch entrance. The rest of the guests are laughing and talking and watching the TV coverage of the New Year being celebrated at the precise instant in various locations in the Philippines.

 

Santanna nods, smiles and fades into the dimension of Time and Space.

 

Goddess appears and smiles. “ Samuel, you are more ready than you realize for this year.”

 

I watch Goddess fade into the dimension of Time and Space and only a small dot of light remains.

 

Christy steps up to my side. “Look, a lightning bug.”

 

Happy New Year, honey.” I put my arm around her.

 

I watch the firefly flutter around past the banana plant.

 

The firefly flies further out into the yard into the night.

Sam

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons license.

I Welcome Readers’ Comments by Samuel E. Warren Jr,

leave a comment »

Readers are welcome to write back

 

I

Welcome

Readers’

Comments

My Classic U S Air Force Photographers Camera and Flash Gun of the 1980s_3825 (1)_resized

 

Ready, Aim, Flash !

My Nikon F3 with motor wind, flash bracket and the Nikon flash gun is the basic photography setup that U.S. Air Force photographers assigned to base photo labs and as “Combat Camera” photographers carried to “shoot” photo assignments in the 1970s and 1980s.  Some of the photographers actually used a Sunpak flash gun.  I used a Canon AE-1 Program camera to shoot the majority of my military photography for base newspaper articles. 

Photo by Samuel E. Warren Jr.

by Samuel E. Warren Jr.

 

I love to write.

 

My Quill Pen ThumbnailI enjoy reading feedback from readers.

 

I know there are those Spam robots out in cyberspace that lock on and generate all kinds of junk.

Human Readers Welcome

 

Humans, real readers are always welcome to send me comments and I do reply.

 

My blog platform is Word Press. My theme is the FREE Word Press Journalist theme.

 

I let Word Press catch the majority of the spam and then check the folder to make sure, real comments aren’t being vaporized into oblivion.

 

If I have answered a particular question numerous times, then, I don’t respond because the answer or one exceedingly similar is already in the reader’s comment section of my blog.

 

I like to get feedback from readers. I like to know I inspired a reader or gave them an idea that they can use in their life.

 

 

 

 

Alien Readers Welcome

 

However, every few days I sit down and read my blog comments from readers.

I glance at the comments and the first ones that get deleted are the ones that look like a warehouse full of adding machines exploded because there are strings of numbers thrown into the message.

 

If an extraterrestrial intelligence is trying to communicate with me: “Dear Alien Life Form of Unknown Origin. My name is Sam. I ain’t a mathematician. Disengage your communications keypad and use the alphabetic one. Thank you.”

 

To all my friends at the Search for Extraterrestrial Life, i.e., SETI, if the Andorians, Klingons, Romulans, Vulcans or little green men email me, then, I’ll forward a copy of the email to you guys and NASA.

 

Relax, Mutual Unidentified Flying Object Network, I’ll forward a copy of the same email to you and The Center For UFO Studies In Rockville, Maryland.

 

Back in the world of human readers, I do glance over every email comment that I get on my blog. Some are obvious “Locked On And Trying To Use Your Blog To Be A Spam Spreader,” which means when it is obviously a ploy to use the blog, then, I delete the spam.

 

Advertisers Buy An Ad

 

I watch for the advertisers that try to promote everything from ambulance chasing legal services to spiffy new SEO software to up your statistics to search engines. Those emails get vaporized by the delete key.

 

I’m An English Bad Boy

 

Bad boy that I am; I break English rules. I write English to communicate.

 

I do not write English to teach it.

 

As a child, English teachers engineered “All The Rules Into My DNA”

 

The English teachers hardwired the information by requiring me to “Diagram Sentences.”

 

Then, as a reporter, I had to memorize the “Strunk and White” gospel on grammar and nit-noy English to the extreme.

 

Uncle Sam demanded that I “memorize”, live and breathe, “The Associated Press Stylebook and Libel Manual.”

 

I see correct and proper English in my sleep.

 

English To Communicate

 

I am not on Her Majesty’s official staff and I am not writing a book for publication, so I write to communicate.

 

I write for fun.

 

Two – Ton Type

 

One of the major rules of English that I break often is the “Old All The Same Thoughts In One Paragraph Rule.” Back in the days of Shakespeare that silly rule might of made sense.

 

Then again, Will Shakespeare didn’t have a cell phone.

 

Poor Shakespeare, he never got a facebook account or got to type: LOL.

 

Legions of lawyers, doctors, academics and others who love those bureaucratic English paragraphs with their 40 sentences and the jargon bloated sentences don’t realize that all the professional vernacular words are weighing down their eyes.

 

The two tons of type that scholarly documents and legal paperwork rely on to make a point are a format technique that scares off readers. When your eyes scans a page and there are thick blocks of type, your eyes want to jump somewhere else.

 

Two tons of small artistic squiggles on a page tells your brain this is going to take some digging to get through all this type and make sense of it.

 

English Always Fashionable

 

I use the journalism layout technique.

 

Reporters know the eyes dance over words.

 

Important words get uniforms and ball gowns, which translates to big point size type and fancy fonts.

 

Too many sentences in one paragraph is a badly tailored suit. It doesn’t appeal to the eye and suit the mind.

 

English has to be “fashion conscious” to be read and understood. Words have to tempt the eye to get the reader.

 

English In A Bikini

 

I try to put my English in a bikini.

 

I go for short sentences. If the idea is too long and too many sentences start to fill out the paragraph, then, it is breast augmentation time for the paragraph.

 

English In A Bustier

 

If the paragraph starts to look to busty to my eye, then, I step into the literary closet of my mind and look at the wardrobe. I space between the sentences. If the paragraph still seems busty, then, I will add line art or a photo.

 

If I can’t find the appropriate art or photo I step back into the literary closet. I look at the sentences and chose a nice bustier.

 

After all, the right subhead pushes the copy up and out at the reader.

 

The point of any article is to get the words in your face and before your eyes so they will be noticed.

 

Comma Conversion

 

I like commas. They are cute and cuddly in their own way. English teachers do not like comma splices.

 

The cuddly comma outlines a series of words and sets off phrases for the eyes.

 

I worked in a radio station and sometimes we had to splice tape to splice out “Ah,” “Umm,” “Dah,” “Ur,” “Er”, and other unintelligent sounds. I like commas. I like splices.

 

Samuel E. Warren Junior English

 

The English speaking countries of the world have their own take on how to use, communicate, spell and arrange English to make sense in their countries and cultures.

 

Americans spell theater with the er. British spell theatre with the re.

 

Americans spell Manila one way. Filipinos spell there capitol city, Maynila.

 

English is a global language because it is flexible and adapts. English never lets silly rules drown out the language’s natural communications ability.

 

English’s flexibility is the reason why English thrives.

 

English as a language adapts.

 

Even a writer can tweak the Commandments Of English and “Yea, though, thou, might offend scores of English professors; who cares ?

 

If the message gets through to readers and your communication is understood, then, English as a language did what it is designed to do – it communicated !

 

In the 1970s, IMHO scribbled on paper would not mean anything to anyone.

 

Thus, like the BFF teenagers with their text messaging cell phones, I tweak English to suit my communication needs.

 

Warren Wonder Words

 

I like words.

 

Some words like War, Death, Land, Life, Love, and some others are not suppose to be capitalized because they are not “Nouns”, which, a noun is “a proper name of a person, place or thing.”

 

I capitalize War because War kills people, destroys property and lays Land to waste for decades to centuries.

 

I capitalize Death because it comes to us all.

 

I capitalize Land because the bloodiest Wars in history are always fought over Land, whether the War is a domestic Civil War or a foreign War, the bloodshed and Death toll demand that Land not be trivialized as lower case.

 

I capitalize Life because we all live it.

 

I capitalize Love because it is a significant human emotion.

 

From time to time, I will capitalize those English words known as articles and prepositions like The and Of. In a phrase, I want the words to stand out. When I put the word The with a word like car, I want the reader to know I am writing about The Car and not simply a car someone on the planet.

cabins in the Ozarks_resized

These two cabins are in Galena, Missouri on the banks of the James River in the Missouri Ozarks.  Galena, Missouri in The Ozarks is the sight of The Last Official Public Hanging In The United States Of America and The Show Me State Of Missouri.  Famous United States 7th District Congressman Dewey Short is a native son of Galena, Missouri.  Galena gained notoriety in the 1930s as The Hometown of George Leonard “Shock” Short one of the most successful bank robbers of The Depression Era because his O’Malley Gang robbed banks throughout the Midwest and is one of the only gangs to successfully pull off two bank robberies at the same time. 

Photo by Samuel E. Warren Jr.

Ozarks English

 

 

I grew up in the Ozarks. Thus, if I am in my country boy mode: “Reckon I is gona’ go and write them thar little ole’ words any way I darn well please. If’n ya don’t like it. Well, yous don’t have ta’ read my article. I hain’t gona loose none of my shut eye time over it.”

 

cabins in the Ozarks thumbnailAl Capp made a living poking fun at The Ozarks and “The Beverly Hillbillies” made the TV studios money poking fun at The Ozark hillbillies.

 

I grew up in The Ozarks, so if I want to use, talk or write “Ozarks’ English”, I reckon I have a better right than the people who never set foot in The Ozarks.

 

Spelling

 

Spelling, I believe is important. However, I will misspell an English word to make a point.

 

Magick – I always spell the word magick with a k.

 

Aleister Crowley’s spelling idea works. With the k on the end of the word, then, the reader knows that you are writing about supernatural, paranormal, or universal unseen forces in Life, which I call, “magick.”

 

When I write the word, “magic” it means I am writing about entertainment or stage magic.

 

I usually am a good boy when it comes to spelling. I might do the old Photo or Foto word switch every now and then,but usually I do not “purposely” misspell a word.

 

Spiritual English

 

I, God and Satan are “old drinking buddies.”

 

From time to time, I write about my immortal friends.

 

I will capitalize He when I write about Satan. After 21 Centuries, He has earned a captial H and daily headlines, show He isn’t retiring anytime soon.

 

God understands that I am one of those people that believes every object in Life has to have at least two parts. Everything in Life, at some level, is at least, one half of a whole.

 

Genetics reveals, all little boys genetically are first little girls. If the genetic material moves in a certain direction then the little girl is born a little boy – so, much for “The Macho World Concept.”

 

God grins when I capitalize the S and put it in front of he to create She. I sometimes write about Him, The Creator Of The Universe, in a Her sense.

 

Incidentally, when you are a Supreme Being; you don’t have “gender” and “orientation” issues. God asked me to pass that along the next time I did some religious English writing.

 

Now, that I have told readers to feel free to email me there comments, your writng is up to you.

 

English Professors Chill Out

 

I have outlined my use of English, so that the English Professors Of The World canMy Quill Pen Thumbnail relax with a glass of sherry or port and curl up with their favorite leather bound Shakespeare play or Lewis Carroll’s “Alice In Wonderland” tale.

 

English Professors relax and chill out. English is a language that changes. The beauty is English can change and still communicate ideas that are understood.

 

I have outlined my approach to spelling English words, which means I know how to use my “Spell Checker” software and usually I do.

 

However, alas, I am still a mere mortal, so I make mistakes. Sometimes a word sneaks by me.

 

Oops, I’m human.

 

I have outlined my religious and spiritual approach to English, so “The Holy People In The World” can go ahead and bad mouth me.

My On Duty Camera Bag Thumbnail

 

 

 

 

I am Sam The Writer. I am Sam The Photographer.

 

If you want to send me comments about the articles and photos in my blog, I am sure I will enjoy reading them. I do reply. Thank you for taking the time to read my blog. I appreciate the readers, who take time to comment.

 

My Nikon F3 setup thumbnail

Sam

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons license.
%d bloggers like this: