Word Warrior Warren Word Works “Black Market Movies”

 

Word Warrior Warren

Word Works

“Black Market Movies”

 

Arghh ! “Pirated DVDs”

This is a selection of “Pirated DVDs” and “Black Market Movies” bought in Manila, Tanauan and Tacloban City, in the Republic of the Philippines. You hear about “Black Market Movies” in Asia,  They seem to be as common as “rice in the Pacific” because they can be bought in public. The true challenge isn’t finding a “Black Market Movie”; the challenge is to find a “Legitimate Movie.” Photo by Samuel E. Warren Jr.

by Samuel E. Warren Jr.

 

The cliché about, “Once a reporter, always a reporter” is true in my case. I have always been curious. As a child, I would annoy my classmates because whenever I had a question, I would raise my hand and expect an answer from the teacher.

 

I knew from childhood I would be a reporter because I was simply “too curious” to be anything else in life. I grew up on the old black and white movies where an actor like Cary Grant would portray the crusading reporter, who would get the “Truth” and the presses would roll.

 

Naturally, reading about Clark Kent and the Daily Planet in the Superman comic books only added to my conviction and passion to satisfy my curiosity.

 

The honor of serving in the military enhanced my role as a reporter. I didn’t have the “Big Red S” on my chest, but, I had my own “blue suit” to serve “Truth, Justice, and the American way.”

 

As a senior citizen, I am still curious.

 

When I get interested in an idea, I begin researching it for my blog, which is, essentially, my “Daily Planet.”

 

When Christy and I moved to the Philippines, we had to wait for our “household goods” to sail from the United States. We both love movies. While we waited, I looked around to see where I could buy some movies. I began to hear about, “Black Market Movies,” “Pirated DVDs,” and “Illegal Movies.”

 

I never imagined finding a “legitimate movie” would be an epic quest, but, it became one.

 

In the Republic of the Philippines, the “Black Market Movies” are everywhere and sold out in the open in public.

 

The real challenge is to find a “legitimate movie or TV episode” that you can rent or buy and not end up with a “Pirated DVD.”

 

Fortunately, our “legitimate” movies arrived. But, when a new release hits the theaters; “Where do you go to buy the legitimate movie ?”

 

I still have no answer to this question. I do have a passion to try and find an answer. I have begun my research. Time to “beat feet to the street” and try to find an answer.

 

Is there an answer to the proliferation of Black Market Movies in Asia or is it simply a cultural business difference with the West ?

 

Now, that Christmas seems to be front and center, I imagine my research will have to go on the back burner for a few days.

 

I would appreciate my regular readers keeping this issue in the back of their minds,then, come the new year, maybe, we can have an answer to the issue or at least know that there might be some issues in life that society, in general,simply shrugs off.

 

Black Market Movies

“Sucker Punch” The Buyer

You put down your hard earned dollars, pesos, baht or yen on the counter and think you are getting a discount or catching the movie “On Sale.” You get home and pop the DVD into the player and realize, “You’ve Been Had, Dad.” Instead of getting a professional movie, you get a video that usually looks like it was shot by a blind man and recorded by a deaf woman. Photo by Samuel E. Warren Jr.

Sam

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons license.

Superb Snack Photo by Samuel E. Warren Jr.

Superb Snack

 

W.L. Foods’ Yaahoo Mocha Sandwich snack is one of those snacks that you can’t eat just one. My wife, Christy Warren, brought a small bag of the snacks home after work.

Christy owns and operates the CSW Cafe at 128 Independencia Avenue in Tacloban City.

 

Christy liked the snack and thought I would. Christy is right. The Yaahoo Mocha Sandwich is one of those snacks that you can’t eat just one. It looks like a golden, crisp Ritz cracker. The taste and flavor reminds me or a graham cracker.

 

People with dentures will probably want to have a large glass of cold milk, steaming cup of tea or a hot cup of coffee to “dunk” the snack cracker in. I did the “dunk” test. In a cup of coffee, the snack does not fall apart like a doughnut has a tendency to do.

 

Parents with infants “teething” might want to consider this snack cracker for the infant to nibble on.

 

I am no food critic, but I know what I like. When I sit down at the laptop to type an article, I keep one of the snacks nearby and it is great to have one of the mocha sandwich snacks handy when you are watching a movie. I put this snack in the movie snack category with Goobers, Malted Milk Balls, Twizzlers red licorice twists and boxes of Junior Mints.

 

The international grocery wholesalers of the world should at this point be reaching for their cellphones to call the Republic of the Philippines to figure out how to get regular shipments of this snack to put on the shelves of grocery stores, supermarkets and in movie theater snack counters around the globe. Nikon D 70 Photo by Samuel E. Warren Jr.

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons license.

Black Market Movies In Asia Photo by Samuel E. Warren Jr.

Black Market Movies In Asia

Nikon D 70 Photo by Samuel E. Warren Jr.

 

I love movies. When I buy a movie or pay to see a movie, I want to know, “It is the ‘Real Deal.’” The demand for movies and TV episodes from the West always exceeds the reliable,credible and efficient supply methods into Asia.

 

The end result always seems to be “The Black Market Movies”, which are rip-offs that can have low-lighting, out of focus cinematography, sound that sometimes has audience reaction in the background and captions they make absolutely no sense at all.

 

Movies and TV episodes made in Hollywood usually have the “Pirated Movie” video footage and the FBI and Interpol movie warnings at the beginning.

 

In the Republic of the Philippines, the legitimate movies, always have the warning about unauthorized use results in a fine of several thousand pesos and possible imprisonment for a number of years.

 

The Black Market Movies usually don’t have the FBI, Interpol or NBI warnings, they usually either go to a screen that allows for Asian language selection or a screen that offers other movies on the DVD that can be played as well as the original.

 

You do not have to be a law enforcement official, a video technician or a sound engineer to realize that some of the illegal movies have been recorded off of a satellite TV channel and simply burned to disc for mass distribution. The tendency of a satellite TV signal to freeze on screen, during bad weather and the erratic pixelation across the screen are obvious indications that the video was recorded off of a satellite TV signal.

 

While Hollywood, London, Sydney, Toronto, Calgary and cities in the West seem to have problems getting the legitimate movies shown and distributed in Asian, “The Black Market Movie System” solves the distribution problem by quantity and the speed to have the product ready for viewers to watch or purchase.

In the photograph,the water buffalo is the animal that is found throughout Asia and has become a symbol that represents the countries and nations of the Pacific and the coconut is a reminder of the island cultures of the East.  The plastic CD case is a reminder that the “Black Market Movies” can even be displayed in what seems to be “official” or “legitimate” packaging.

 

In November 2012, the cast of “The Twilight Saga Breaking Dawn, Part 1,” came to Manila to promote the release of Part 2. Today is November 28, 2012, which means “Black Market” copies of the movie should already be “On Sale” in the cities and rural areas throughout Asia. Nikon D 70 Photo by Samuel E. Warren Jr.

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons license.

October Creature Feature Movie Review Exorcist II The Heretic

October Creature Feature

 

The Retired Exorcists

 

Exorcist II The Heretic

 

by Samuel E. Warren Jr.

 

I doubt there is anyone on the planet, who has never heard the old saying, “Don’t judge a book by it’s cover.” That saying is probably wise advice for movies as well when it comes to video box covers and DVD jackets.

 

At Robinson’s Place in Tacloban City, Republic of the Philippines, I was thumbing through the various Video Compact Disc to select American movies to buy. It had become a Friday night ritual, which meant microwave the popcorn and introduce my Filipino nieces and nephews to some of the greatest American horror movies ever made.

 

I picked the movie out of the VCD and looked at the cover. Linda Blair looked back at me. Richard Burton and Louise Fletcher’s photos were on the bottom of the cover. In my youth, I had watched scores of Richard Burton films.

 

Louise Fletcher is one of those actresses, when I see her name or photograph associated with a film I know there is about a 99 percent chance that I am going to enjoy the TV Show or movie.

 

I love movies. I couldn’t believe I had let a sequel to The Exorcists get by me. Then, I watched the movie.

 

“The Amityville Horror” Exorcists On Call

 

Suddenly, You are Rod Steiger in the role of Father Delany, in “The Amityville Horror” movie of 1979. The scene where Don Stroud in the role of Father Bolen, the young Vietnam vet, who returns to be a priest, has one knee on the bench and keeps a foot on the ground and kind of leans on the statuesque bench.   

 

Steiger as Delany just sits on the bench like a knot on a log. He looks like a statue in a priest’s uniform. I always admired the concentration that it took for Steiger to stare out in to space while Stroud in the role of the young priest was talking to him.

I imagine in that scene that It is almost like Steiger is watching a TV and ignoring the people around him. As if “Exorcist II The Heretic” is playing on the TV off screen.  He stares through the movie on the TV screen, but daydreams what it would be like to face a real demonic presence.

 

The Steiger Shroud scene in “The Amityville Horror” movie is what I would expected to find of a “Retired Exorcist Priest.” That scene could have been used to write a whole new script for a sequel to “The Exorcist.”

 

The Steiger and Shroud scene could be used for an “Exorcist II” to suggests that a successful Exorcist priest comes out of retirement long enough to instruct and help him select two younger priests to become professional, motivated, determined Exorcists.

 

Steiger and Shroud should have been hired to play the veteran Exorcist and the young Exorcist, who are called in by her doctor to see if it was remotely possible she could be “repossessed possessed.” Then, of course, Burton as Father Lamont would have had to have flown in from the Vatican to make sure that an American exorcism would not cost any more priest’s lives.

 

Cast Seeks Script

 

The actual “Exorcist II The Heretic” movie could have been entitled “Exorcist II The Lunatic” and been the four years after Regan MacNeil, suddenly, has a relapse and is hospitalized in a sanatorium.

 

“Exorcist II The Heretic” proves you can have a magnificent cast of actors, but, you should not have to rely on the actors to ad lib ever scene and line of dialogue in the movie. A movie still needs a script. If you did no research on this film, you would swear it had no script.

 

God Bless The Screenwriters Of America !

 

The woman bursting into flames in an opening scene is a clear indication of where this movie goes – “up in flames.” Have a fire extinguisher close to your DVD player.

 

“Exorcist II The Heretic” is obviously a movie in search of a script – any script.

 

The date of the movie is 1977. The wardrobe definitely screams “The 1970s.”

Metaphysical Gee Whiz Moments

 

The movie seems to get caught up in psychiatry and “The New Age Movement” and can’t decide which to choose. Louise Fletcher in the role of Dr, Gene Tuskin shows Regan a hypnotic machine gadget.

 

In a later scene, Regan teases a friend by faking the famous Uri Geller “spoon bending” that had people pouring through the shelves of bookstores for books on ESP and kinetic energy in the 1970s.

 

Regan and Dr. Tuskin slip on headbands to connect them to the skinny strobe machine, which looks like a low-budget 1970s version of a 1950s electroshock therapy machine.

 

Then, Richard Burton in the role of Father Philip Lamont slips on Regan’s headband and slips into the chair. What seems to have been a hypnotic exercise goes from a mind-sharing to a soul-sharing event that might of worked with audiences in the 1970s, but, I doubt it.

 

This psychiatry metaphysical scene is only missing the “Walk-In” idea that a soul can just walk into a body and allow the original soul to “move on.”

 

Max von Sydow in the role of Father Lankester Merrin and Karen Knapp in the role of Linda Blair’s double dons the Pazuzu demon makeup appear in a metaphysical overlay to suggest a memory; the technique sort of works, but, makes the screen seem crowded.

 

August Actors, Actresses, Flat Flick

 

In my opinion, Burton, Fletcher and Blair were all better than this movie, The actors and actresses in this move all earned every single cent they were paid for this movie. Burton, Fletcher and Blair all did the best they could with their characters and the characters became better than the movie.

 

Father Lamont gets handed a picture and suddenly the priest has this “Psychological Epiphany” that seems closer to a mental breakdown,which gets talked away by Father Lamont and Dr. Tuskin.

 

The Magic Grasshopper

 

By now, obviously, one of the writers must of figured the demon, Pazuzu would have immigration problems with US Customs and tries to smuggle him into the film using “The Magic Grasshopper” – a giant grasshopper dream film sequence.

 

The Father’s Mission

 

Paul Henreid in the role of The Cardinal gives the film the credibility it needs. He also get to explain how Father Lamont’s mission is to prove that Father Merrin of “The Exorcist” did not die as a “Heretic.”

 

My favorite line in the whole movie is, “I’m not here for you.”

 

Actress Kitty Winn in the role of Sharon Spencer is explaining to Father Lamont how the Georgetown house is full of bad memories for her. Father Lamont suggests that she talk to a priest or a psychiatrist and she grumbles back at him that he is one.

 

Father Lamont’s, “I’m not here for you,” response is just a basic statement of fact, but, the fact that he is dressed like a priest makes the statement seem cold-blooded.

 

“The Magic Grasshopper,” the big grasshopper seems to show up whenever the story needs to move along.

 

In Search Of “The Boy”

 

A young James Earl Jones is also better than the movie he appears in. He shows up on screen like a young African village medicine man, wearing a ridiculous hat that although it is suppose to be tribal looks like something at the bottom of a clearance bin of lades’ hats.

 

Fortunately, the quick cutaway to the growling leopard rescues your eyes quickly.

 

Mental Healing

 

Regan is suppose to be still recovering from her bout with the demon four years ago. Then, suddenly, she is a mental social worker. She talks to a little girl, who supposedly hasn’t said a word for a long time.

 

Of course, once Regan starts talking to the girl it becomes Mr. Spock’s “Vulcan mind meld” without the hand gesture or any special effects to show how Regan is getting into the little girl’s mind.

Suddenly, the mother arrives and “Hallelujah ! It’s A Miracle !” I kept waiting for a tent revival preacher in a sweat stained shirt to come rushing in, waving his Holy Bible and shouting for the brothers and sisters to open their hymnals and join in a song.

 

Father Lamont does his impression of Secretary Of State Henry Kissinger’s “Shuttle Diplomacy” and first dashes to Rome to brief the cardinal and then he is off to Africa to find “the boy.” (At this point, Father Lamont should of forgot the boy and been looking for a script.)

 

The Cessna And The Crucifix

 

Ned Beatty in the role of Edwards, the Cessna pilot, delivers a visual clue to the viewers when he gets out of the aircraft and carries this huge crucifix from the plane up the hill to the cafe where Father Lamont is waiting. (Obviously, a screenwriter found a way to tip off viewers, you have had “a cross to bear” for awhile now – hang on a little longer and the credits will roll.)

 

Locusts Lair

 

Father Lamont finds “the boy”, Kokumo, who is James Earl Jones in the guise of a village medicine man, wearing a giant grasshopper headdress The surprise is the grasshopper headdress looks more realistic that the earlier hat.

 

Father Lamont falls down and wakes up in a scientific research facility where James Earl Jones is now the educated scientist, Kokumo, in his dapper white lab coat, who takes pleasure explaining his research into grasshoppers.

 

Travel Telepathy

 

Regan and Father Lamont do the “mind sync” in the movie, so that while she is in the States and he is in Africa they are in “sync”, but, the movie was done before computers were built and could do the “sync” routine. I

 

“Exorcist II The Heretic” is not a sci-fi movie like any of the “Star Trek” movies, so the “Borg collective one community mind” idea doesn’t come off in the movie. There are no special effects to suggests that they are in sync at any time. “The Mind Sync” idea might be a metaphysical or supernatural or New Age concept that I missed in my years of research, but, I doubt it.

 

My guess is the Father Lamont and Regan “mind sync” is a shot at “telepathy” and no one really could figure out how to show it on screen.

 

Father Lamont and Regan get on a train. Dr. Tuskin and Sharon Spencer catch a flight to Georgetown. Everyone seems to be heading for the house in Georgetown, where Father Merrin did his exorcism. The Magic Grasshopper is finally replaced by swarms of grasshoppers,

 

Paranormal Pursuit

 

When everyone finally arrives at Georgetown, it seems the movie finally realizes it is suppose to be a horror flick and a supernatural thriller.

The final scenes are what you expect of a horror flick. The kind of surprises that if the final scenes would have been moved up toward the beginning or worked as an opening would have people in the theater snuggling down in their seats clutching their large bucket of popcorn and gripping their sodas and whispering, “Exorcist II The Heretic. Bring it on !”

 

 

Two Stars

 

I was tempted to give this movie One Star, but, the truth is all the actors and actresses in this movie worked too hard to try get this movie up and running.

 

Thus, the First Star has to go to all the actors, actresses and everyone on the movie, but, the director. I just don’t think the director understood he was actually suppose to film a “horror flick” and a “supernatural thriller.”

 

The second star is for the final minutes and final scenes of the story, which survived to prove at least a portion of a script made it on to film.

 

I award “The Exorcist II Heretic” Two Stars. The outstanding cast of stars in this movie makes it worth watching. I do not remember watching “The Exorcist III.” I should have because it is a George C. Scott movie,

Sam

 

Salute To A

Great American Actor

George C. Scott

 

And

A Great American General

George S. Patton Jr.

 

George C. Scott is one of those great American actors that I admire and respect. Born in Wise, Virginia, October 18, 1927, he was definitely “A Force Of The Universe.” He came at Life head on.

 

He was a smiling man, whose brash, vivacious approach to Life could best be described as a United States Navy battleship or aircraft carrier rushing through the oceans of the world and brushing aside any boats naive enough to get too caught up his wake.

 

I have never seen a movie, where George C. Scott took on the role of a wimp. He was too independent and determined in life to ever portray a powerless victim scared of his own shadow.

 

The wimp roles of life are better suited to politicians not successful actors, directors and producers.

 

George C. Scott before he ever became an actor served his nation. In 1945, he raised his right hand and became a member of the United States Marine Corps.

 

On active duty at 8^th and I Barracks in Washington D.C,,he served in uniform until 1949, when he returned to civilian life and went to the University of Missouri. He graduated with a degree in Journalism.

 

His choice in life to become an actor, put him on stage at Broadway and in front of film cameras around the world. George C. Scott’s hard work and devotion to his profession always brought his characters to life on film.

 

Americans and other people will remember George C. Scott for a variety of roles. I remember George C. Scott in the role of United States Army General George S. Patton Jr.

 

Scott’s Marine Corps service made him a natural to play the role of a military commander. Scott’s “I live Life on my own terns attitude”, made him the only man in America or the world, who could of slipped on the United States Army low quarters of “The General” and brought him “Back To Life” on film.

American and International newspapers around the world published the articles about General Patton’s “hard charging approach to life.” Patton, a Scorpio, born November 11, 1885, wasn’t scared of God or Satan. General Patton would stand toe-to-toe with God or Satan and look them square in the eye.

 

United States Army Signal Corps Photo of Lieutenant General George S. Patton Jr., 1943. (pictured before his promotion to full General).

General Patton’s courage in peace and war always made him a hero to his troops and a “discomfort” for the military and civilian leaders in the Chain Of Command above General Patton.

 

I did not use the term “superiors” because sometimes in Life there are people, who have no “superiors” because they stand too tall and proud in Life that anyone who stands near them are simply ignored or forgotten.

 

General Patton became Alexander The Great with the American flag genetically engineered into his soul. General Patton put on his US Army “Ike” jacket and strapped on his twin pearl handled pistols to show the world, “When God wants Justice he sends George S. Patton Jr., and his troops to get the job done right the first time.”

 

Only a United States Marine, like George C. Scott, would of understood, General Patton’s “Devotion To Duty, Honor And Country,” only a Marine like George C. Scott would of understood that General Patton would move mountains and cross oceans to achieve a military objective and to free people from an enemy.

 

During World War II, the United States of America and the Allies had three magnificent US Army “Weapons Of Mass Destruction” General Dwight David Eisenhower, General Douglas MacArthur and General George S. Patton Jr.

 

The Allies had scores of brilliant and brave men and women in uniform, who always succeeded. But, three American generals knew World War II would change the lives of people around the globe.

 

Generals Eisenhower and MacArthur were aware that while military leaders must press forward to overcome the enemy, General Eisenhower and General MacArthur understood the need to keep civilian leaders informed and to outline the importance of the actions to the International News Media.

 

General Patton understood the enemy had to be defeated at all costs.

 

General Patton would leave the government politics to General Eisenhower, General MacArthur and the other Allies military generals, admirals and commanders.

 

General Patton would pay attention to the International News Media only if they were writing stories and shooting film to tell of the exploits of himself and his troops in defeating the enemy.

 

When you look at the determination and life of General George S. Patton Jr., there was only one man in America or the world, who could of become “The General” in front of a cinematic camera and would of demonstrated the courage, devotion and conviction of being single-minded enough to “Fight Your Way To Freedom.”

 

Actor George C. Scott is the only man, who could of brought General Patton to life on film for future generations of global citizens to understand.

 

Scott, a Libra, who could be considered born on the Cusp of Scorpio, knew how to “Balance” his approach to life to get things done. George C. Scott always seemed to smile in public. His public persona of being able to laugh and still move ahead in a determined manner to achieve something must of kept people around him in awe.

 

Like General Patton, George C. Scott always seemed in news reels, film and photos to be one of those people in life, whose presence overwhelms the people around them and keeps someone like General George S. Patton Jr., and George C. Scott in the center of the spotlight, regardless where they went in the world.

 

George C. Scott knew how to translate his natural charisma into a subtle energy life force that always had to be acknowledged and respected because it could not be ignored. He had a “radioactive presence” that always came across in his films and television shows.

 

In addition to his role as General George S. Patton Jr., George C. Scott, played John Rainbird in the movie “Firestarter.”

 

The Stephen King novel became a movie. Drew Barrymore in the role of Charlie McGee is a little girl, who can use her mind to cause people and objects to burst into flame.

 

Naturally, a secret government organization wants to keep the little girl under their control where they can perform tests and study her. The insidious mythical organization turns to John Rainbird to try to get close to the child. Of course, the character Rainbird is an Evil man.

 

In the role of Rainbird, George C. Scott creates a determined villain, with a sense of humor and a laugh that makes the character seem the least threatening of all the bad guys in the movie;

 

When an actor has the charisma, charm and stage presence to create a bad guy character that you want to admire, then, you have an actor, actress or person who really can reach out to people in their minds.

 

In the movie, Rainbird is a bad guy; but the way George C. Scott plays the villain; it is difficult not to respect the bad guy.

 

Since George C. Scott is one of my favorite actors, I seldom overlook any of his TV shows or movies. He is one of the stars in “The Exorcist III.” I do not remember ever watching the movie, so I can’t review it at this point in time.

 

Sam

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons license.

“The Exorcist” October Creature Feature

OCTOBER CREATURE FEATURE

 

THE EXORCIST

 

The film that transformed an obscure Church ritual into a sought after global profession

 

by Samuel E. Warren Jr.

 

In my lifetime from October 1955 through mid-December 1973,in the United States, if you needed an “Exorcist”, you would have few real options.

 

You could buy a plane ticket to go to the Vatican and try to convince a priest or the Roman Catholic Church hierarchy.

 

You could try and find someone who knew a root worker or conjurer in New Orleans, Louisiana, who might be willing to help you.

 

You could try and contact someone who had a friend, who lived out in San Francisco, California and was into “The New Age Movement.”

 

If you seriously needed an “Exorcist” before 1973, in the United States, you really had to look under every stone to find one and hope you could find someone who had an understanding priest in the Roman Catholic Church, who would take you seriously enough to actually look for an “exorcist.”

 

The Real Deal Exorcists

 

William Peter Blatty’s 1971 novel, “The Exorcist,” had aspects that were inspired by the actual Exorcism of Roland Doe in Maryland in 1949. Jesuit Priest, Father William S. Bowdern and Father Walter Halloran were the real exorcists.

 

There have been television shows that talked about the original exorcism and one fact all seemed to agree on is the family basically had to beg the church for an exorcism. The practice of exorcisms had become essentially a ritual that had been left in the past.

 

The “resurrected” ritual of exorcism did much not only for The Church, but for all churches. William Friedkin’s film, “The Exorcist” based on Blatty’s novel put God back up on the marquee that got people going back to all kinds of churches, temples, synagogues and mosque because Satan was real again.

 

“Rosemary’s Baby” and “The Omen” were child demonic films of the late 1960s and early 1970s that also got people’s attention.

 

What always got me about “The Exorcist” was how such a “normal” little girl could be possessed ?

 

Effective Evil Effects

 

There were no Hollywood Computer Generated Images for movies in the 1970s, production and special effects people had to do create the effects the old fashioned way ‘– “They had to be creative.” Now, people smile at the “pea soup” that gets shot out of Regan’s mouth in the movie, but, it was one of those “Wow” moments in theaters in the 1970s.

 

The fashion sense, or lack there of, of the 1970s does much to make a film look dated, but, the story, the actors, actresses and effects did such a magnificent job Regan MacNeil, the possessed girl, is one of those Halloween characters in the shadow between vampires, mummies, Frankenstein and zombies that no one wants to think about because she just might be “The Real Deal after all.”

 

Face it, no one wants to have to tell their father or mother, “We won’t be coming home for Christmas because your granddaughter is possessed by Satan.”

 

The real fear of The Exorcist movie is that maybe, just maybe, your child could be possessed by Evil. The movie really does turn that parental fear into the worst case scenario by the use of suspense and the creative use of effects. It is little wonder why this movie has become an American Cult Classic.

 

You factor in the notion that you have a veteran priest, who has dealt with and faced Evil at various times and is ready for the battle. Then, you add the young doubting priest to the mix, who believes he is more “a man of science” than “a man of the cloth.” Basically, he let the Church pay for his education, so he could become a successful psychiatrist. Stepping into the ring, Satan has the upper hand and the odds are all in His favor.

 

Temptation Of Teenagers ?

 

Ellen Burstyn, who plays the actress mother, wants the best for her daughter. Linda Blair, who plays Regan Mac Neil, the daughter, is the average All-American Girl for the 1970s.

 

I grew up on a hog farm in the conservative Midwest of the United States of America, known as the Ozarks, right smack dab in “The Bible Belt.” My family, friends and neighbors went to the Baptists and Pentecostal churches. Some crossed the line into Taney County to go to Branson or into Greene County to go to Catholic churches, Lutheran, Methodists and Presbyterians.

 

The preachers and pastors of Stone County, Missouri took their “hellfire and damnation” lessons to heart and knew they were the First Line Of Defense against Satan and His Demonic Legions.

 

Thus, in the Ozarks and the Midwest, you never expected to see Satan walking down the highway or shopping for groceries in the local supermarket. But, in the 1960s or 1970s, if you are writing a story, script or play – how would you get Satan or any of his demons to realistically appear in the literary work ?

 

Demon Dare

 

As decadent and liberal minded as New York City was suppose to be in the 1960s and 1970s; there had to be a way to get Evil into the script and the movie. The All-American Fall Guy – the Ouija Board.

 

In the US, in the 1960s and 1970s, it seemed there were only two real ways for Evil to show up. Teenagers had to figure out some way to do “Satanic Rituals” or go to the store and pretend to be nave enough to buy and use a Ouija Board.

 

In this film, the Ouija Board is the culprit that is “The Three Mile Island” incident that starts demonic radiation leaking into the MacNeil home and poor Regan glows with it.

 

Use of the Ouija Board, helps explain how an East African demon gets through US Customs without a passport and visa. Then, again The Department Of Homeland Security is a story that doesn’t happen until the beginning of the 21^st Century.

 

Max von Sydow, who stars in the role of Father Lankester Merrin really does come across as the devout veteran priest, who is ready to stare the demon in the eye and send it back to Hell.

 

Jason Miller as Father Damien Karras does an excellent job as the young priest, who really believes he is a long lost psychiatrist in his soul. One of the story twist is suppose to have the young priest broken up about his mother’s death. I didn’t get the message in 1973 and I haven’t gotten it since.

 

On screen the first time you see the aging, invalid mother, the film mom is sort of already a citizen of “The Twilight Zone” looking to move into “The Outer Limits.” Without more details or a back story to show the mother and son relationship, that story line to me wastes film. I’m a Momma’s Boy, so I’m critical.

 

Actor Titos Vandis, in the role of the young priest’s uncle works with Miller to pull off the story line, but, that is an area where I believe the movie falters and probably gets forgotten about in the overall bouts with the demon. In this movie, the mom character was dead before she was written into the script and she seems just as dead up on the screen.

 

Exorcist Era Excitement

 

This is the movie that “Really Did Start It All.” The obscure term, “exorcist” smoldering in the Vatican archives, “purified” the way for an American religious revival in Catholic and Protestant Churches and created battalions of televangelists and legions of lay (and lame) exorcists throughout the globe.

 

Satanic Seventies ?

 

The ongoing, relentless, never-ending Vietnam War had made young Americans jaded, cynical and skeptical. Grandparents and parents looked at the grandchildren and children and wondered if maybe “alien astronauts” had abducted” and switched their kids because “The Generation Gap” was the real deal.

 

Generations of Americans spoke English to one another in their homes and yet the message was like “A Day At The United Nations Without Translators “ – No one understood ‘nuthin’.

 

America’s politicians in the 1960s were the kind of leaders that people rushed to build statues to. By the 1970s, Americans politicians seemed to be like “used car dealers that you couldn’t get rid of.”

 

The Godfathers

 

America had the traditional movie and sports celebrities of their generation in the early 1970s, but, the “Godfather” movies did “the kinder, gentler dance” for Organized Crime. J. Edgar Hoover had gotten long in the tooth and the organized crime bosses of America had their own brash, public style that had to be the envy of America’s “stale bread politicians of the early 1970s.”

 

While American underworld figures weren’t holding their daily press conferences at their mansions, they were out and about and people couldn’t get enough of their exploits in the streets of America. The irony is the Crime Rate in America was pushing people to believe “Vigilante Justice” might not be such a bad solution as long as you don’t get caught. “Dirty Harry” had become the ideal lawman of America.

 

Nix on Nixon

 

Nixon had no use for the American news media and the American news media had no use for Nixon, other than the political cartoonists, who thrived on daily demonizing his facial features.

 

After Watergate, nothing Nixon said really mattered. The press didn’t seem to believe a word he said and his approval rating with the American public dropped faster than a bad day in the stock market.

 

 

 

Then, of course, Men in America actually got to wear something other than white shirts and black ties. Unfortunately, the Men’s Fashion Scene of the 1970s “overdosed” America’s fashion sense – too much, too soon. Wide ties, wide lapels, bright colors for men’s suits, white belts, white shoes, hounds tooth sport coats thrown into the mix with polyester and wide collars on mien’s shirts. Plus, there was the jogging suits to wear, even if you never intended to go jogging. And denim flared jeans and denim flared bell bottoms were still on the drawing board for the seventies fashion scene.

 

The early 1970s had America’s scurrying like mice on an exercise wheel – they just weren’t sure where they were suppose to be running to.

 

Demonic Days

 

If you look back at 1973, you wonder if someone on Satan’s staff had decided to literally “set the stage” leading up to the release of “The Exorcist.”

 

January 22, 1973 – US Supreme Court rules on Roe versus Wade and overturns states’ bans on abortion.

 

The Vietnam War “Officially Ends” January 27, 1973 with the signing of the Paris Peace Accords. Nixon tries to take credit for the peace agreement. The American news media and many Americans actually see Dr. Henry Kissinger, America’s First Jewish Secretary Of State as the man who got the deal.

 

November 5, 1973, the term, “Shuttle Diplomacy” entered the American culture and described the efforts that Secretary of State Kissinger made in the Middle East at the end of the Yom Kippur War to help keep the region stable.

 

Despite Secretary Kissinger’s hard work to keep the Arab states and Israel living in a somewhat peaceful existence – some religious critics started shouting that Secretary Kissinger could be, “The Anti-Christ.”

 

March 29, 1973, the last United States soldier leaves Vietnam.

 

May 17, 1973, I wear the cap and gown and graduate from Galena High School, Galena, Missouri. It should have been a proud moment for God and Satan. It was a proud moment for me. By June, I was in college at the School Of the Ozarks, Point Lookout, Missouri.,

 

The US bombing of Cambodia ends June 1.

 

July 12, 1973 – The National Archives Fire – The entire 6^th floor of the National Personnel Records Center in St. Louis Missouri is destroyed by a fire. Countless US Navy and US Army records are lost, which will affect World War I, World War II, Korean War and Vietnam War military people and their families for generations to come in the area of honorable discharges, military retirement pay and documentation of earned and awarded military decorations.

 

Egyptian and Syrian military forces attack Israel, September 11, 1973, to start the “Yom Kippur War,” in the Sinai Pennisula and the Golan Heights. I am working at KSOZ-FM, to work my way through college. I look through the large plastic window at the huge gray Associated Press teletype thrusting down the keys to announce the start of the War. I’m excited about the story.

 

I rip off the yellow sheet of news copy and hand it to someone in the newsroom. They nod and comment, “Another War in the Middle East.”

 

I understand now, why no one rushed to get it “on air” as breaking news. It was the 1970s, and there was always bad news coming out of the Middle East.

 

I saw the War as a possible start to “Armageddon.” Everyone else in the newsroom just saw it as more bad news from the Middle East to be read after the day’s latest Watergate story.

 

The Yom Kippur War ends October 26, 1973.

 

October 10, 1973, “The Saturday Night Massacre,” Richard Milhouse “Tricky Dick” Nixon fires Special Watergate Prosecutor Archibald Cox and Deputy Attorney General William D. Ruckelshaus.

 

No matter What Nixon did – The Watergate Break-In June 17, 1972 – would not go away and each day’s newspaper brought a new “Watergate” headline in the continuing scandal.

By December 23, 1973, the Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries, OPEC, had doubled the price of crude oil at the pumps – just in time for “Christmas.”

 

American theaters flip the switch and Warner Brothers “The Exorcist “ flickers on to movie screens December 26, 1973.

 

By November 1979, Iran’s Ayatollah Khomeini labeled “America, The Great Satan: in a speech. Khomeini was the 1970s version of Al Quaeda’s Osama bin Laden.

 

In the early 1960s, Khomeini used his criticism of the Shah of Iran Pahlavi to rise to power among his Muslim followers. The Shah exiled him and he spent more than 14 years in exile between Paris, Turkey and Iraq. Khomeini did not like that the United States Government had close relations with Iran and that the Shah had moved to modernize Iran.

 

When you look back at 1973, it seems like God had gotten dropped off for church bingo and Americans weren’t sure if they were going to pick Him up or hand Him His “Pink Slip.”

 

Satan At The Box Office

 

The film brought in $66.3 million from theaters in the United States and Canada. It currently stands as “The Top Grossing R Rated Film Of All Time.”

 

“The Exorcist” movie proved to be the “shakeup” that got God back in His penthouse and kept Him on as the CEO Of Heaven. “The Exorcist” woke up and scared Americans.

 

Before the movie appeared in theaters, many Americans were like Actor Lee J. Cobb in the role of New York City Police Department Detective Lieutenant William F. Kinderman, something is wrong and you just can’t put your finger on it.

 

The approach worked for Cobb’s detective’s role in the movie and outside the theater in the streets of America, “something was wrong and no one knew how to put a finger on it.”

 

The Medical Men

 

Arthur Storch, in the role of the psychiatrist and Barton Haymen as Dr. Samuel Klein are the classic American “Medical Men” of the 1970s, “Of course, Science has an answer for it.” But, when Regan’s condition doesn’t respond to medical treatment, one of the doctors blurts out something about an “exorcist.”

The time devoted to the “Science” and “Medicine”approach in the movie is smart because by the 1970s doctors and scientists had taken to their academic pulpits and “preached” to anyone who would listen that science and medicine would find the cure for all the ills of humanity.

America’s New Prophets

America’s Psychiatrist were on a roll. Sigmund Freud had got them out into the limelight. People seemed hungry for the latest development from the psychiatric world. Hollywood didn’t let the fad pass by; they cranked out movies as fast as they could about doctors and psychiatrist saving the day.

Psychiatrists were America’s New Prophets. It did seem doctors, scientists and psychiatrist had an answer for everything.

“The Supernatural” remained the chink in the psychiatrist’s armor. The responses of : “superstition”, “imagination”, and “all in your mind” worked until something happened before your eyes.

Find An Exorcist In The Yellow Pages

Before the movie, your best bet to find an “exorcist” would be to seek permission to search the Vatican archives for a vague reference to an “exorcist.”

After the movie, “Exorcists In America were thicker than hairs on a dog’s back.” At the current rate of growth in a few years America will probably be turning out as many exorcists as we do lawyers and doctors.

No doubt, none of the televangelists of the 1970s and 1980s will ever give “The Exorcist,” “Rosemary’s Baby,” “The Omen,” or any of the other religious horror TV or movie spin-offs an honorable mention, but without “The Hounding Hell Horror Of The Satanic Silver Screen,” some of those preachers would of stayed on cable TV and still be going through the Ozarks trying to arrange “Brush Arbor Revivals” and church pie suppers.

A 21^st Century Exorcist ?

Hollywood is silly if they don’t already have plans to do an updated version to compliment, but not compete with the original movie.

A new version could not compete because Linda Blair’s Regan MacNeil character had her unique unspoken, “I’m not going away. . .ever” look, near the end of the movie.

The silly 1970s wardrobe makes “The Exorcist” dated, but, hey, even in the 1970s, “We had to wear clothes.”

Casting Directors – Stellan Skarsgard has earned the right to be Father Merrin in an updated version. In Dominion: Prequel To The Exorcist,” Mr. Skarsgard became the role. In “Exorcist:The Beginning”, he became Father Lankester Merrin, Roman Catholic Archaeologist Priest.

Now, if the Department of Motor Vehicles could just get Mr. Skarsgard ‘s name on his new license right and the Vatican would quit sending him offers for another exorcism overseas.

“Darling Demonologists”

In another more contemporary version, it would be nice if the screenwriter could write in a way to bring in a senior ranking demon with more established credentials in religious history, which would allow for even more suspense, special effects and (probably) a bigger budget.

And, since the “Name Of The Game Is Horror”, a senior ranking demon could up the on screen body count to stress the possibility that today’s dog walker shouldn’t count on being tomorrow’s “Darling Demonologist.”

Exorcist 2013 Script Session

Quick, get Warner Brothers on the phone. I’ve got it.

Camera Fade In: Regan’s granddaughter graduates from Oxford and returns to the US to visit “granny.” They are doing the girl, “shoot the breeze” conversation routine. Suddenly, Regan’s youngest granddaughter comes up out of the basement with something in her hands.

You guessed it, America!

Sometimes the old literary devices are the best. All together now, “Ouija Board !”

They chuckle. Of course, granny has had a wonderful life and completely forgot about the initial possession (and probably The Exorcist” spin-off movies after the original).

They open the box, take out the board and begin to play.

Too late “Granny” remembers.

The granddaughter is now “possessed.”

Granny whips out her cell phone hoping that she still has an exorcist priest on speed dial.

The granddaughter does her contortions routine, while the youngest granddaughter jumps up and down screaming.

From here on out. . .it is up to the Hollywood screen writers. You guys and gals run with it. But, go for a demon, who usually gets top billing, with “name recognition.”

St. Peter’s Basilica from Castel Sant’Angelo showing the dome rising behind Maderno’s facade. Public Domain Photograph

 

Exorcists Resurrection

The Vatican is now admitting, “Exorcists exist” and is training them. Meanwhile, in the United Kingdom, a group of British school girls seem to be blurring the line between Fact,Faith, Fantasy and Fiction.

Based on the “Darling Demonologists” ages, someone should hand them an old mystic text and point to the section on teenagers,hormones and, “Oh, Look ! Puberty and Poltergeist ?”

Five Star Rating

“The Exorcist” is an American Cult Classic, as it should be. Hands down I give it a Five Star Rating and remind viewers it carries an R rating.

For your Halloween viewing this is definitely a movie to watch on All Hollow’s Eve or the night before.

Incidentally, when you swing by Wal-Mart to pick up your Twizler’s and Junior Mints, you might want to make a quick stop at the church to make sure you have a crucifix and rosary beads handy. May, as well pick up a little Holy Water. . .to be safe.

Sam

 

 

Exorcist Information Links

 

Exorcism of Roland Doe

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Exorcism_of_Roland_Doe

Father Walter Halloran

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Walter_Halloran

The Story of a Modern-Day Exorcist

By Gilbert Cruz Monday, Mar. 16, 2009

 

http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1885372,00.html

British School Girls Exorcists

‘We’re not like normal teenagers’: Meet the exorcist schoolgirls who spend their time casting out DEMONS around the world

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2024621/Meet-exorcist-schoolgirls-spend-time-casting-demons-worldwide.html

 

 

 

 

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons license.

October Creature Features Satan and The Exorcists

October Creature Features Satan and The Exorcists

 

Dominion: Prequel To The Exorcist

 

by Samuel E. Warren Jr.

 

The movie, “The Exorcist,” started it all. In the early 1970s, American troops were still being sent overseas to serve in the Vietnam War, which had “no end in sight.” Students on college campuses kept protesting “American involvement:” and calling for the US Government to “End The War: and send the troops home.

 

The Vietnam War had served to make people skeptical, jaded and cynical. Religion was “out of fashion” and a younger America simply was not believing in “Good or Evil, “ “God or The Devil.”

 

Science was suppose to have “All The Answers.” In the late 1960s and early 1970s, “Psychology” had come to the forefront as being able to provide all the answers. Everyone in America, it seemed, “wanted to be a psychiatrist.”

 

Hollywood cashed in on the “psychiatry fad” and made movie after movie like “Raising Cain,” where psychiatry was suppose to be able to explain everything about the human mind and human nature.

 

Then, the original “Exorcist” movie arrived in theater. People started going back to church. Once again, people felt “The Need For God” and “A Fear Of Satan.”

 

An one of the lesser known rituals of the Catholic church had suddenly taken center stage and people were talking about “exorcisms” and “exorcist.”

 

The movie, “Dominion: Prequel To The Exorcist” is a good horror movie. The story basically centers around the character of Father Lankaster Merrin, who is the archaeologist priest who looses his faith and really has to “dig” to find it.

 

The 2005 movie casts Stellan Skarsgård in the role of Father Merrin and he does an excellent job in the role.

 

There is a young teenage boy in the movie, who get possessed by the demon, which would be understandable if the plot line was designed to show how the young teenage boy fought against the demon inside him; the story doesn’t go in that direction.

 

Actor Ralph Brown plays the Sergeant Major in the film and gives an outstanding performance of an enlisted military man willing to step up and take charge on behalf of his troops and his major.

 

The major problem with this film as a demon creature feature is I got the feeling, “Satan was out of the office, On Vacation” and a low-ranking demon took the call and tried to “wing it” on the Evil aspects in the movie.

 

As a horror flick goes I give it three stars overall.

 

 

Exorcist: The Beginning

 

“Magnificent,” is the word I use to rate this film, which is also a prequel to the original “Exorcist” film. I liked everything about this film. It is a creative horror film. Many of the original actors from “Dominion: Prequel to the Exorcist” are in this film.

 

I consider “Dominion: Prequel to the Exorcist” to be a filmed dress rehearsal for this movie.

 

Actor Stellan Skarsgård is Father Lankaster Merrin, the Roman Catholic priest archaeologist in this movie as well as in the “Dominion: Prequel to the Exorcist” flick.

 

In this movie, Merrin is a “down on his luck” priest in a bar. Actor Ben Cross walks into the bar as Semelier, a mysterious man to makes Father Merrin an offer he can’t refuse. Mr. Cross has such style in playing villains that automatically I suspected he might be portraying Satan incarnate.

 

The story, the set, the costumes, the cast — everything works in this movie. The disappointment is the Sergeant Major was written out of this movie.

 

This movie and “Dominion” uses special effects to tell the story and in both movies the special effects add to, but do not take away from or overwhelm either story.

 

In this movie, obviously, Satan was back on the job and ready for his close up. The movie allows the viewer to sense the demonic presence and sense it is just around the corner.

Crows, also called, ravens represent an ominous aspect of the supernatural. The crows are everywhere in this movie, when you seem to least expect it.

 

Skarsgård as Father Merrin wants to be left alone to unearth this buried church. He isn’t interested in giving Communion or hearing confessions, but he is curious about the archaeologist who started the dig, who went mad and ended up hospitalized in a sanitarium in Nairobi.

 

What is a film without a leading lady ?

 Izabella Scorupco plays Sarah, the doctor, who tempts Father Merrin’s heart and soul.

Merrin and Sarah both carry their demons from World War II. She lived in a concentration camp and he. . keeps remembering what the Nazi officer told him, “God, isn’t here today, priest.” Then, he sees the muzzle flashes of weapons in his mind.

 

Actor James D’Arcy in the role of Father Francis certainly seems like an able-bodied young Vatican administrator sent to look over Father Merrin’s shoulder to protect the interests of the Church.

 

Children in a movie seem a sure way to get a movie either a G rating or make it attractive to a younger audience.

Obviously based on the gore in the movie, the plan was not to get a G or PG rating.

 

Remy Sweeney, a little boy plays Joseph, the little boy, in this film. He should of got an Academy Award because he played a little boy the best way to play a little boy by being a little boy.

He is convincing in the role he plays from the moment he begins. He adds to the story and is a part of the story without ever taking away from the story.

Izabella Scorupco in the role of Sarah, definitely earned every cent of her paychecks for this movie. She displayed a wide range of acting talent from the dedicated doctor to the troubled woman. . .and, then, she gets possessed.

 

Professional movie critics didn’t seem to like either one of these films. I believe “Exorcist: The Beginning” is a credit to the original “Exorcist” movie and does a wonderful job of laying the foundation for that movie.

 

Mr. Skarsgård lives the role of Father Merrin in the movie and “redeems” the priest who finds his faith and pride in his face to face with Evil. Thus, when Semelier, remarks “Merrin.” The Roman Catholic Exorcist Priest corrects him, “Father Merrin.”

 

I rate this movie a Five Star Creature Feature. The realistic scary Halloween makeup of the demonic creature is worth Five Stars, in addition, to my rating for the movie.

Sam

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons license.

God, Satan, Sam Go To The Movies

October Creature Feature Movie Reviews

God,Satan,Sam

Go To The Movies

by Samuel E. Warren Jr.

God brushes his hand over his new crew cut and flicks the dandruff off the shoulder of his tailored navy blue shiny sharkskin business suit. He rubs his chin and smiles that his five o’clock shadow has yet to appear. He lifts the silver carafe and pours himself a piping hot cup of coffee. He loosens his navy blue tie and unbuttons his shirt collar.

He takes the coffee cup and walks toward the plush white sofa. The expensive chessboard is set up for a game on the table, centered in front of the sofa.

Satan, a handsome man, who sports jet black hair and a cleft chin, strolls to the bar and lifts the glass decanter bottle by the coffee pot.

“There is some Benedictine brandy in the short bottle,” offers God.

Satan snickers. “Thanks. I love the warm feeling it gives you gong down, but, the Benedictine monks and I never seem to see eye to eye.”

Satan’s Big Date

Satan adjusts his starched French cuffs and glances at his cuff links. He looks into the large wall mirror and briefly fidgets with his bow tie. To a mere mortal, the man in the expensive tuxedo would seem to be a successful bodybuilder.

“Big date,” asks God ?

“Working,” grins Satan. “It’s Wednesday. It is ‘Hump Day’” for the mortals. You know, the middle of the work week. They are over the ‘hump” and on a down hill slide to the weekend. Fro me, this is a great time to hit the bars and cause the mortals to do silly things like drink too much at the bar.”

God rises and walks up to the bar to get the coffee pot and cups on the silver tray. “Surely, you have time for a quick chess game before you have to put your ‘hooves’ to the grindstone,” teases God.

Satan laughs and sips his whiskey. “You are one of a kind –”

“— Thank you,” God interrupts.

“It wasn’t a compliment,” snickers Satan.

God shrugs and grins.

Satan picks up the crystal whiskey decanter and walks toward the sofa. “I have the whole planet coming apart at the seems and you want to play a chess game.”

God steps behind the bar, kneels down and opens the small refrigerator. “Bless her heart. My wife, Zera, she is a jewel.” He reaches in and takes out the silver platter of prepared sandwiches.

God and Satan Shoot The Breeze

“This is a great hotel. As efficient as their housekeeping staff is they don’t take the love and time to make sandwiches as scrumptious as what Zera makes.” God smiles broadly and places the tray of sandwiches on the coffee table, in front of the chess table.

“I can see it on your face, Satan. You are thinking if I am such a happily married God what am I doing hanging out in a hotel room. It is the whole October, Halloween, time of year. I get in my part The Veil Between The World mode and start to wonder if maybe sometime I shouldn’t just do a little more tweaking and allow some celestial events to move ahead of schedule.

“Zera reminds me the physical laws of the universe are there for a reason. She’s right, of course. Still, around Halloween, I get in my “What If” mode. So, sometimes this time of year, I show up in The Real World or another realm for a few days to just chill out and get a fresh perspective on things. Who would think centuries of working in the universe could be so demanding and taxing on your life force ?

Satan pours himself another drink and smiles.

“Let me see, if I’m getting this right. You. God Almighty. Creator of the Universe. What, after umpteen centuries, you decide to have a mid-life crisis ?

And, hello. You represent all the goody goody stuff of the universe. You call me, Satan, Lord Of The Underworld ? Where did you ever get the idea that we should hang out together?”

God grins. “You are so full of yourself sometimes. I ain’t asking you to help me throw a birthday party. I’m just saying in the Immortal Entity Realm, it is not like we have tons and tons of relatives and family members to hang out with.”

“True,” grumbles Satan.

“Sometimes it is just nice to talk to another Immortal Entity. It is not like we are going to go deer hunting together and we aren’t going to go float fishing in The Real World. I just wanted to ‘Shoot The Breeze’ with you.

“ By the way, help yourself to some sandwiches. Tuna. Egg. Ham salad. Chicken salad. Ham. Roast beef. Hero sandwiches. Club sandwiches. There is even, some baloney and cheese sandwiches. Zera is a wonderful cook.”

“What know peanut butter and jelly sandwiches,”Satan sneers.

Satan’s Marital Problems

“You’re just jealous,” teases God. “Lilith would do right by you, if you ever paid attention to her.”

“Lilith ! Do right by me ! You are unreal ! I am The Prince Of Darkness ! I am The Lord Of Evil ! I am the Embodiment Of All Things Bad In The Universe –”

“— How is that working out for you anyway,” teases God, interrupting Satan’s diatribe ?

“You think, what I send her roses and suddenly The Queen Of Evil is going to get misty eyed and want to have a romantic dinner.”

“It works for Me, the angels and the mortals. You should try it,” grins God, reaching for a sandwich and leaning back on the sofa.

Satan pours himself another whiskey. “I told you I have the planet coming apart at the seams. You didn’t hear me.”

“I heard you,” smiles God. “I chose to ignore you. You forget, I win. Pick the game, time and again, I always win. You always “Overthink” everything. You are the ‘Supreme Control Freak.”

God and Satan Talk Politics

After eons, millennium and centuries, you still haven’t figured out, I beat you the instant I gave the mortals “Freewill.” They get to make their own choices; right or wrong. That is why they always beat you, Satan.

You, Satan, keep doing the Hitler, Hirohito, Saddam Hussein, Idi Amin, Mommar Gadhafi, Osama bin Laden, crazy man, nut job, dictator, call the shots routine and you still don’t realize that “Freewill” is the “Hope” and “Faith” that humanity always hangs it’s hat on,” elaborates God.

“Maybe,” grumbles Satan, who grins, “I have an Ace in the hole.”

“You have the American Presidential Elections in November. Big deal. If I looked at it closely, I might be worried. You are getting better at getting close to politicians and making deals with them. You learned a lot in “The Cold War,” Satan.” God grins and puts his feet up on the coffee table.

“The Cold War,” “The Domino Theory,” the whole “A-Bomb Scare” and “Doomsday Paranoia,” I do have to give you credit. The whole global propaganda and paranoia is, indeed, a stroke of genius. You know how to make people scared of their shadows. But, you forget, people still “think” for themselves. Mussolini ended up on a meat hook and Gadhafi, in the frozen food section, of a freezer.

Americans are always skeptical and cynical of their politicians. They will vote in November. And, they will get what they deserve. The Americans need their election process just like the British need their royal family. Politics in Asia, keeps changing even faster than you can keep up with it, Satan. The global financial crisis has got everyone wide awake. They just aren’t sure what to do next.”

God and Satan Talk Finances

Satan grins. “Money.”

“Try one of the sandwiches,” God offers. “Zera makes a great egg sandwich. You will have to get your own catsup, mustard and relish. I left it in the ice box.”

Satan sits down on the sofa and picks up a chicken salad sandwich. “I do my thing in the global financial markets and you are done for,” threatens Satan.

“Do I look worried,” smiles God. “You don’t know a Bull or Bear Market from your own zodiac sign. For eons, you have been trying to understand Capitalism and Free Enterprise and then, you, wimp out, and resort to bank robbers, terrorists and tempting accountants. Face it, Satan. You are a small picture, guy. You never go for The Big Picture. You are to into instant gratification.”

God stands up and picks up the receiver on the telephone. “Time to call room service. I’m thinking a big, juicy hamburger that it takes to hands to hold. French fries. Make that three burgers. It was a long day and I have an appetite. What about you ? There is a menu there. This hotel has some great foot long hot dogs.”

Hump Day

Satan finishes his sandwich and rises. “Nah.” He glances at his expensive wristwatch. “I’ve gpt to get on the job.”

God laughs. “Chill. It is only 6 p.m. You know, the party people don’t hit the clubs until 8, 9 or 10 at the earliest. Right now, the people in the bars are the guys who are blowing off the day

The old, It was a rough day. Their boss is a bum. Someone else got the promotion. And, of course, the, “Thank God, It Is Hump Day” crowd, who are ready to write off the rest of the week. This early in the evening, people are just crying in their beer.

It is still too early to pick on the church types, who have their Wednesday evening services because they are doing choir practices and the young people are doing their youth ministry and testimonial work.”

God’s Chess Game ?

God orders the hamburgers and hangs up the phone. He nods at the chess board. Satan shakes his head No.

“Get over, JOB,” God smiles.

“That was eons ago. You were still a newbie to the whole Lord Of Darkness occupation. Job worked for a living, so when you made him the “World Is Yours”, you have just won the Powerball of the Universe lottery; he knew it was a scam. He had a hard life and nothing came easy. Come on, one chess game. You have plenty of time. It is not like, you or I punch a clock.”

Satan frowns and sits on the sofa. He picks up the black rook and turns it in his manicured fingers. “I get to be white,” he challenges.

“Fine. You get to be white,” acknowledges God.

Satan scowls and puts the piece on the board. He stands up and puts his hands on his hips.

“Something else,” mumbles Satan. “Let’s do something else other than chess.”

Satan’s Ouija Board

God grins. “You don’t like board games. Other than the Ouija Board – and, you cheat at it.”

Satan smiles. “I’m a bad boy. What can I say?”

“We can’t discuss politics and religion. In politics, you get mad and always toss a politician, out in front of the media to be exposed, or try to set the person up to be harmed. We talk religion and the next thing, I catch you trying to set up racial profiling and influencing public policies on women’s rights and gender issues.”

God smirks. “Honest. Satan, you are too transparent. I see you coming a mile away. If mortals paid attention, they would notice you have the covert skills of a drunk elephant.”

Satan waves off the remark. “Fine ! I don’t want to do chess. We never agree in out discussion on politics and religion. So, what do we do ?”

God and Satan Choose Movies

God picks up the remote and points it at the huge wide screen TV. “Cable, satellite, CDs, DVDs, VCRs; you decide ?”

“No one watches VCR tapes anymore,” grumbles Satan.

“You’re kidding. I have a whole room of VCR tapes. But, I do have a few angels, who are transferring them to CDs and DVDs. My eight track tapes and cassette tapes still work great for music. But, it is getting harder to find parts for the machine,” observes God.

Satan shakes his head. “Just click the remote. Let’s watch the news.”

God shakes his head No. “I know you. You get too upset watching the news. Besides, you always put your two cents in and I can never hear the report.”

God stands up and waves his hand. The wall on the right opens and shelves from the floor to the ceiling appear with movie DVDs.

“I’m not picking the movie,” protested Satan. “The combined television episodes and movies of the world. It would take me decades to find a movie. Besides we never agree on what to watch.”

Send Out For Sam

God smirks and waves his hand. A man appears in a polo shirt, walking shorts and flip flop sandals.

“Satan, I believe you know Sam.”

“Sam,” God nods and smiles. I stand and nod at God and Satan. “Forgive my appearance. I wasn’t expecting company.”

God laughs. “I’m sure I can put you at ease.” He gestures and I stand comfortable in a stylish three piece dark blue suit. God points at the collar. “Not too tight ?”

“No sir, “ I answer. I notice the tie in the reflection on the wall. “Nice Windsor knot.”

“Thank you,” God answers.

Satan shakes his head. “All the movie critics of the world at your beck and call, You blink your eye and poof, here is a top notch Hollywood or Sundance movie critic.” Satan points at me.

“You get this guy. What’s his credentials? What he has been watching movies since he was big enough to turn on the TV?”

“Actually, yes sir. I have been watching TV and movies and paying attention to them most of my life,” I answer.

Satan scowls. “Rhetorical. Human. I’m thinking God is messing with my head. Is it okay, with you, human, if I yank the Creator of the Universe’s chain?”

God laughs. “Satan, he gets in the modes, Sam. Between us, I think, he’s probably jealous of his wife, Li;ith. Plus, I get the feeling that he is probably just a tad guilty about the way he’s been treating her. You know, he gets so wrapped up in his Universal bad guy image. Sometimes, he takes work home with him.”

Sam The Movie Critic

Satan shakes his head. “Ha. Ha. Let’s all have a good laugh at Satan’s expense. Now, then, please answer my question. Why this guy ? An American blog writer in the Philippines. This is the guy, You, God Almighty, Creator Of The Universe, pick to find a movie for you. Why ?”

God laughs. “It is October. Sam has been burning the midnight oil to write movie reviews for Halloween. He does it for his readers; why wouldn’t he recommend a movie to The Forces Of The Universe ?”

Satan scowls and looks at me. Then, he smiles. “I do know you. You really loved to party down in the 1970, 1980s and 1990s.”

“I still do, sir.” I answer and smile.

Satan grins and walks back to the sofa. God leans back on the sofa.

“Amaze us, mortal,” challenges Satan. “Just a moment,” he cautions and gestures.

The room automatically transforms into a classic theatre. I stand on stage. The plush sofa is the front row seats. The long heavy curtains and the large silver screen identifies the room as a theater.

“Satan,” God frowns and points at the flames leaping up around the edges of the stage.

Satan sneers. “Mortals, at least, some, think you have a sense of humor.”

“I do,” smiles God. “I just don’t always appreciate your sense of heating and air conditioning.”

“Say it again, Sam,” teases Satan.

“Gentlemen, since I am here, obviously, you aren’t looking at the recommendations of contemporary movie critics. I grew up in Missouri and Missouri boy, Walt Disney became famous for his cartoons and family entertainment movies. If you wanted a Disney flick or a G rated family movie, you wouldn’t call me.”

God nods. Satan snickers.

“Satan, you know I don’t do “romantic comedies,” I appreciate animated movies, but not anime, so that genre is out.”

God grins. The theater curtains part and action and sci-fi movie clips transition quickly across the screen in the background.

“God, sir, you know, I love action movies, mysteries and science fiction. Since you made reference to my ‘Sam I Am Blog” I know that you are aware that I have been writing movie reviews for October and Halloween.”

“Satan, obviously, you remember horror flicks that I have forgot.”

“Decades of them, no doubt,” he grins.

Suddenly, in the background, on the silver screen behind me a plethora of horror movie clips flash across the screen.

“My guess would be, God, doesn’t mind watching a horror flick now and then. But, if you pick the movies, Satan, sir.” I shrug. “God would probably have to watch all the “Saw” movies, “Jeepers,” and then, the two of you would debate on watching the “Halloween” series, the “Friday the 13^th” series, as well as probably the “A Nightmare On Elm Street” series. Plus, I would imagine, Satan would go for “Texas Chainsaw Massacre.”  

Satan looks at God. “Sam loves his exposition; doesn’t he ?”

“He is in the moment,” smiles God. “Let him run with it.”

Satan leans forward on the edge of the sofa. “The envelope, please ?”

God laughs. “Ignore him. He has no patience. I keep telling him to cut back on his daily kerosene intake.”

“I want to watch a Halloween movie before Halloween,” protests Satan.

“The Rite,” a great movie. Sir Anthony Hopkins plays a priest. “The Order,” not the Jean Claude Van Damme action flick set in the Holy Land, but the Heath Ledger movie.

The Order

“The Order.” A great story, where Ledger plays a young priest. Three cheers to the actor that plays the “Sin Eater.” You really don’t see the “Sin Eater” in a lot of contemporary Hollywood movies. That is a shame. A Sin Eater can be every bit as interesting as a vampire and a lot more interesting than the old “Let Me Eat Your Brains Zombies.”

God laughs. Satan raises a finger. “Are we getting to the point sometime in October.”

I smile. “Yes, sir. Thank you, sir. Today is Wednesday, on earth, anyway. With your permission, I’ll give you a creature feature for Wednesday, Thursday and Friday –”

“— What no Saturday input, “ snickers Satan,

“Fine, Sam,” smiles God.

“Wednesday. The Order. Heath Ledger does a wonderful job of playing a young man caught between Heaven and Hell. The fact he portrays a priest points out how hard it is to live in The Real World and try to live by the Old Rules of religious dogma.”

I look at Satan. “My guess is you, sir, inspired the writer to create the Dark Priest in this story.”

Satan grins, “Don’t ask. Don’t tell.”

Satan leans forward. “I’m curious. What is it about this film that makes it so memorable to you ?

“Heaven and Hell. Good versus Evil. The story is a flip of the coin because you are never sure who is going to choose, which path. The sin eater really confuses the overall story because it is hard to decide if he is a good guy or a bad guy. And I kept guessing to the end, which way the young priest would go.

The Order, may not be a blockbuster that raked in the dough, but I suspect it will become a cult classic because it has all those issues of youth, choosing a path and the conflict of ‘Damn If You Do And Damn If You Don’t.’”

Satan nods and leans back against the sofa. He looks at God. “Okay. So, sometimes Sam surprises even me. I figured he would comment on the photography and special effects.”

The Prophecy

“Thursday, I would recommend, “The Prophecy.” Actor Christopher Walken is scary as an archangel. This is another of those stories that makes mortals feel like they are always caught in the crosshairs of a shooting match between God and Satan.”

“Monkeys,” laughs Satan. “If it is the movie, I think it is, Walken as the angry archangel always criticizes humans and calls them “monkeys.”

“Some actors really seem to become the roles they play. I could believe Christopher Walken as an archangel. But, after watching this movie, if Christopher Walken was an archangel – I would be one mortal that would never upset him,” I admit.

I nod at Satan. “In some movies, sir, you are always portrayed as a creature that wipes out everything in the path and could careless about the results. In this movie, the actor that portrays you allows you to come off like a serious businessman, who realizes he has to pick and choose his battles. The Prince Of Darkness is portrayed as a serious and intelligent entity, who has a plan to rise above his station in the Universe.”

Satan grins, “Touche.”

“Friday ?” God smiles.

Constantine

“Constantine, sir. A great Keanu Reeves film. I love the gold ‘God Gun” in the movie. It is creative to put a round cylinder on a cross and blow away the bad guys.”

“Fire power,” snickers Satan !

“True,” Sam admits. “The story is awesome. The exorcist is in bad need of a vacation. He is ready to toss in the towel on his place in the never ending battle of Good and Evil.”

The Woman

“The woman,” sighs Satan. “There is always a woman.” Satan smiles and gestures. He is transformed into an attractive big, beautiful, buxom, blonde woman in an low cut, strapless V neck red evening gown. The massive diamond necklace and matching earrings glow.

God shakes his head. “Satan, sometimes you are a real ‘Drama Queen.”

Satan strolls over to me and leans up against my shoulder. “There is a woman in this film.”

“Yes, sir. . .er. . .mam.”

“Rachel Weisz plays a dual role as a detective and a victim. She is crucial in getting Keanu Reeves as the exorcist to move forward to help her to solve the case at hand and battle half demons and half angels in the process.”

Satan in the guise of a wealthy woman continues to act in the role of a seductress and moves around me. “Why would I want to watch a film where the hero and heroine is sending demons back to Hell ? ”

“They do it in style,” I answer. Keanu Reeves is wonderful in the role of the exorcist. He knows what need to be done. He is just fed up with the whole Good versus Evil contest. But, when the time comes for the rubber to meet the road. He acts. He is a man on a mission. So determined that nothing in Heaven or Hell is going to stop him. In the movie, he goes literally, “straight to Hell.”

The graphics of being in Hell is intense. You will unbutton your shirt collar and get up to get a glass of water. The hell graphic is so intense, you wonder why your TV isn’t melting.

There is a scene where Rachel Weisz has to lie in a bathtub of water. I found it intense. Anytime someone is under water and doesn’t appear to be breathing, then, you want to gasp for air or rise to the surface. The story needs to hold you under to make a point. The movie makes the point.

I step back and nod respectfully at Satan, “Well, sir. The actor, who portrays you, Peter Stormare, does so in a manner that makes you seem a skilled diplomat. He is dressed in a stylish white suit, which means Lucifer , a.ka., the devil, a.k.a, Satan does not always have to wear black.

“And, in the “Constantine” movie’s Lucifer has his own style, which means that even though Lucifer is immaculately dressed, he is barefoot.

Who but The Prince Of Darkness would dress to the nines and then go barefoot?”

Satan nods and changes back to the man in the tuxedo. “It is nice when mortals portray me as a man with a plan rather than some kind of loose cannon kill crazy psycho.”

“With respect, gentlemen there you have it. Wednesday, The Order with Heath Ledger. Thursday, The Prophecy with Christopher Walken. Friday, Constantine with Keanu Reeves.”

God nods and the table, in front of the sofa, fills with two buckets of popcorn, two large drinks and an assortment of candy bars. God raises his hand and The Order DVD materializes in his hand.

“Sam, would you like to join us for an evening at the movies,” asks God.

“I would love to, sir. But, I really need to work on another creature feature movie review article for Halloween to post for my blog readers.”

“Understood,” he smiles.

God raises his hand. The large red theater curtains part to reveal the huge silver screen. God snaps his fingers and the light above flickers as the opening attractions appear on screen.

God looks at me. “If you are ready ? I’ll send you back.”

“Yes, sir. Thank you.” God raises his hand.

“Wait ! Before you send Sam back. Saturday,” Satan exclaims.

“Sir,” I ask ?

“Not that I would have time to waste on some movie on Saturday,” Satan explains.

“Saturday is one of my busy days. Come Saturday, I am always on the move. But, just for the sake of discussion, if I did want to see a creature feature on Saturday what would you suggest ?”

“Sir, there are plenty of vampire, zombies and monster movies for creature features that you could choose for Saturday,” I reply.

Satan nods. “Okay. Okay. Okay. But, if we stick for awhile longer with demons as creatures, off the top of your head, what movie comes to mind.”

A Devil’s Advocate

I smile, “A Devil’s Advocate.”

“A Devil’s Advocate,” Satan repeats the name with a smile.

Satan looks at God, “I hate to admit it. As mortals go, I find myself sometimes thinking Sam, here, isn’t such a bad guy for a mortal.

“Hang on a second. Mouthpiece. Shyster. Those are words for lawyers. The phrase, “Philadelphia lawyer,” is a phrase for lawyer. Umm, devil’s advocate, as I recall is a phrase for lawyers.”

Satan frowns at me. “I ask for a horror movie and you give me a lawyer movie.”

Satan frowns at me and straightens out his arm to point at God without looking. “Mr. Creator Of The Universe, over there, is the one with a sense of humor. I don’t have a sense of humor. I’m the guy people say who has a short fuse. I am legendary for getting hot under the collar. Tell me, Sam, we are on the same page, here.”

I nod, “Yes,sir. A Devil’s Advocate is a horror flick.”

Satan steps back and looks at me. “Horror flick,” he reminds me.

“Yes, sir. It is a horror flick. It is about lawyers,” I smile.

“In America, lawyers are usually thought to be creatures. Therefore, the lawyers as creatures meets my criteria for creature feature. Some of us, Americans, even think of lawyers more as demons than humans.”

“Sir, as Satan, The Legendary Prince Of Darkness, I would imagine that you could appreciate this movie. First, in this movie, in The Real World, you are a senior partner of a law firm. Your firm is making money hand over fist. You have the best of all worlds and no one can stop you in the Real World because all the talented and smart lawyers work for your firm.

Keanu Reeves and Charlize Theron are the lawyer and his young wife, who are rocketing to stardom through the American legal system. There are numerous twist and turns throughout the movie.

What Charlton Heston did for Moses and The Ten Commandments, Al Pacino does for Satan in the role of John Milton, a lawyer, in A Devil’s Advocate.

Satan, the devil, arrives on screen larger than life. He is an outgoing, vivacious, person who never apologizes for being and acting human. It is obvious, the devil enjoys the weaknesses of being human. The irony is you can be bad and have the good life.”

Satan grins. “Sam, do I detect a note of admiration and respect in your voice.”

“Yes, sir. Daddy is a Texan. I was taught Southern hospitality. Momma is a hillbilly, who always demanded I ‘respect’ my elders. I’m in my 50s, but, I know that you and God are much older than I, so, sir, I have to respect my elders and you, gentlemen, are my elders.”

“Admiration,” teases Satan. “This movie makes you admire me; doesn’t it ?”

“Not admire, sir. Understand. The movie points out that while it is really easy for humanity to choose the easy way and the negative choices; it is wiser to follow the longer road to positive choices. In this movie, Satan is humanized because he understands the fears and the needs of people.”

Satan grins. “You enjoyed the payback in the movie. You like it when the bad guys get what is coming to them.”

“Always, sir.”

I look at God, “With all due respect, sir, I have never been a ‘turn the other cheek kind of guy.’ No offense.”

“No offense taken, Sam. Remember, I still have my Old Testament moments, even today.” God smiles.

God raises his hand to send me back.

“Wait !” Satan points at me. “I don’t want you to spoil the ending of this movie for me, but, I sense you really do enjoy this movie. You have admitted that you like watching the bad guys get what is coming to them.

“I sense you like the special effects of the film. It is obvious you like the story overall. But, I’m still getting a feeling that you think this is one of those movies that brings it all together.”

I nod.

“Don’t ruin the ending for me, but what brings this movie all together.”

I laugh. “The reporter ?”

“Reporter ? What reporter,” ask Satan ?

I grin. “ Ask my wife. Ask my cousin, Donna. Ask any of my family and friends and they will tell you, I considered it my life’s calling to be a reporter. I love being a reporter. Being a reporter, is all I ever really wanted to do in life. Being a reporter, is my “dream job.”

“I love it in a movie, when the reporter triumphs over all the odds. I could relate to the reporter in the movie. In this movie, the lawyers all do their own thing. They choose their Heaven and Hell. The smart guy is the reporter.”

Satan shrugs, “What reporter ?”

God laughs. “Watch the movie.”

I nod at the Junior mints box on the table. “May I ?” God nods. “Go ahead, Sam.”

I pick up the box of Junior Mints and step back to be sent back to The Real World.

Satan grimaces, “What reporter ?”

I smile. “The reporter in the movie brings the story around from the beginning to the end. He gets the last word.”

I feel the phase procedure begin. I wave at God and Satan sitting on the sofa, in front of the theater stage. God smiles and nods.

The Legendary Forces Of The Universe begin to become a distant blur, in front of my eyes. I feel my body begin to move back through Time and Space to The Real World,

In the distance, I hear Satan mumble, “What reporter ?”

Sam

 

October Creature Feature–Halloween Horror

October Creature Feature

 Peter Benchley’s

Creature

by Samuel E. Warren Jr.

They are some movies that defy description. After you watch the movie; you find yourself asking the question, “Did I like that movie ?”

Peter Benchley’s Creature is one of those movies that makes you stop, scratch your head and scrunch up your face and ask yourself, “Why am I still thinking about that creature feature ?”

Movies, TV shows, novels, books, and short stories always challenge the reader to accept or reject the idea based on whether or not the idea is “believable” in your mind.

Shark Man

This film should challenge your “believability” factor. Imagine, a shark man.

If the image of a shark man doesn’t come right away, think of traditional mythology and the creature called the “Centaur.” Pictures, drawings and artwork of centaurs are everywhere. A Zodiac symbol for Sagittarius is the “Centaur” and modern Western Astrology named some celestial body out in space, Chiron, “The Wounded Healer” and the descriptions get all misty-eyed about a centaur type creature, who can heal everyone in the Universe, except himself.

Centaur Symbolism ?

Now, if you can accept, in your mind, the ancient mythology picture of a “Centaur,” half-man and half-horse; why can’t you accept the idea of a shark man ? What freaked me out about the creature on film; is the shark man has the upper torso of a shark and the lower torso of a man. With this picture in your mind, let us look at this movie overall.

Washed up Water Warriors

The movie starts off believable. The military people in the movie, probably did not have a military technical advisor or a US military retiree anywhere near the set because the so-called military actors as a rule could use a hair cut. Their khaki US Navy uniforms look like they slept in them and their “fruit salad” on their chest – does look like a blob of dried fruit salad – rather than military ribbons.

Bottom line, do not look at these actors pretending to be military to get an idea how to wear a military uniform or place the name tags and ribbons.

I suspect someone on the crew may have had a hard time trying to figure out how to place a baseball cap on the actors’ head because the story calls for a military angle.

Unfortunately, the haircuts and uniforms are so out in left field that it would have been better to put green body paint and uniforms on the actors and refer to them as “Plastic Green Army Men.”

The military angle early in the film’s story gives you a somewhat realistic starting point.

Aloha Ah Ha !

The civilians on the tropical island in the middle of the ocean seem like civilians on a tropical island in the middle of the ocean.

Aries Craig T. Nelson plays Dr. Simon Chase. Leo Kim Cattrall plays Dr. Amanda Mayson. Nelson and Cattrall both come across as passionate, driven, scientists out to save the planet and the world’s oceans.

Of course, while the valiant scientists champion the cause to save the ocean, the unknown sea creature turns tourists and natives into shrimp cocktail appetizers. Once the body count rises, of course, everyone gets excited about a “shark” type creature out in the water.

The suspense builds. You are tempted to start digging through boxes and tossing out books on genetics, DNA, RNA, chromosomes, stem cells, nerve cells and dash for the nearest medical torso to look at the brain. Then, you see a flash of the “shark man.”

Whoa !

Dude !

You sit down on the sofa. If you have the movie on DVD, click the remote.

Shark Shock !

The shark man is a centaur in reverse. If you had been told a Centaur had the head of a horse and the body of a man; then, the “shark man” may not be as much of a “Shock.”

But, since the “shark man” has a shark head, partial torso, plus the arms and legs of a man; it took my eyes and mind awhile to work out this overall creature concept in my head.

Someone pick up the cell phone and call the Academy Awards judges. If the Academy did not give an “Oscar” to the creature feature people on this flick, then, the Academy need to get together and realize her is a “Unique Creature Feature Moment.”

The creature is not a hungry Mermaid.

The creature is not a harpy, mythological Siren.

The creature is not a Merman.

Whoa !

Dude !

The creature is a shark man.

The Academy’s “creature feature” people should take a look at the unique sea monster.

Applaud The Creature Creators !

Here is a totally unbelievable monster. Yet, when you look at it for a few moments, it becomes “believable.” If there is one chance in a billion that a scientist working on diseases, bacteria, viruses, or genetic abnormalities decides to try a key to make a genetic cohesion between a human gene and a shark ( – Pause, for a moment, to allow the cold shiver to shoot down your spine) the unimaginable might be born in an aquarium or a hospital.

Seriously, an Oscar needs to go to the “creature” creators in this film. They created a totally unbelievable monster that is completely believable if you consider a genetic glitch that manages to evolve against the medical odds.

Overall the film seems somewhat believable to the point, I saw the “shark man.”

Sicko Scientist’s Lame Logic “Humanizes” The Shark Man

The actor, who plays the stereotypical mad scientist does an excellent job in giving the creature a sense of humanity to the shark man. The irony, of course, is a shark is usually considered an efficient, professional, aquatic killing machine, whose sole mission in life seems to be feed and give birth to more sharks.

The mad scientist adds credibility to the shark by demonstrating that his years of research, passion and drive have really made the mad scientist a modern day Baron von Frankenstein and the creature is more human than the creator.

I could tell you the Hollywood ending for this film, but, I don’t want to ruin the ending for you.

Where Is That Remote ?

If you have this movie, in your personal movie library, then, dust off the VCR box or DVD case and put the movie in the player.

If you don’t have this move, then, find other reviews on line and if you are still interested, then, there are the Netflix and Blockbuster websites.

You might want to grab, your coat and car keys and head out to your local Safeway, Piggly Wiggly, A& P, Wal-Mart, Price-Cutter or other grocery store or a local video store to buy or rent the movie.

If you are like me, you might want to stroll past the Twizler, red licorice strips candy, Kit Kat bars, malted milk balls, candy corn and popcorn on your way to the checkout counter with the movies. Movies always make me appreciate “my sweet tooth.” Did you remember to pick up a box of Junior Mints ?

Five Star Family Creature Feature

I give this movie Five Stars because it is a great “Creature Feature.” It forces you to consider that something that seems so “unbelievable” under the right circumstances just might be “believable.” The actors and actresses in this film do an excellent job in adding to the overall story,

Alas, there are no jack o’ lanterns, scarecrows, zombies, vampires, mummies, knife wielding psychotic serial killers or other obvious October Halloween themes that you would expect for a creature feature to make your Halloween horror viewing list.

Voodoo, Hoodoo; Do You Do Halloween Horror Flicks ?

However, the island location and actions by the natives leads the viewer to think of Voodoo, Hoodoo or Santeria. And, a passing moment of an actress jostling small animal bones in her hands suggests their might be some kind of tropical “mojo” Halloween magick, which allows us to part the Veil Between The Worlds and invite you to take a front row seat in our Halloween Theater of the Macabre.

“There is the Woe Is Me I Am A Rebellious Teenager” moments in the film, but, the creature’s conviction to “feed his need to feed” drowns the whole adolescent “I want to grow up to be somebody” storyline as everyone races the clock to try and find the thinking shark that is turning the island into a “Surf and Turf Platter.”

Sam

 

“Swamp Thing” October Creature Feature Viewing

October Creature Feature – Halloween Movie Review

Swamp Thing

by Samuel E. Warren Jr.

Helen Of Troy is, according to historians, “The Most Beautiful Woman Who Ever Lived.” Historians love to point out that Helen was so beautiful, “Her Face Launched A Thousand Ships,” and, of course, started a War.

Historians are great people. Unfortunately, some historians are “incurable romantics.”

Since Helen Of Troy didn’t leave behind a driver’s license photo, modeling publicity shots of any kind, a family photo album, a voter’s ID, wallet photos, or a police mug shot – we have to rely on the descriptions of some historians.

Damsel In Distress

In my lifetime, I have seen many beautiful women. Some were simply walking down the street.

As a young man, one of the first women I ever fell “Madly In Love And Lust With From A Distance” was Adrienne Barbeau.

The first time I ever saw Miss Barbeau in a movie I could not take my eyes off of her. A beautiful Gemini brunette, who on the silver screen was the classic “Damsel In Distress” in the movie, “Swamp Thing.”

I was born in 1955, so almost all of the women I ever fell “Madly in Lust and Love With At First Sight” were Hollywood movie and TV actresses.

Adrienne Barbeau, plays the lead actress in this movie, “Swamp Thing.”

Obviously, “Swamp Thing” did not become a blockbuster that raked in the Academy Awards right and left. It is a wonderful movie. The script and the work of the actors and actresses in this movie helps to make the story entertaining and believeable.

Cinema Creativity

Keep in mind, this is an American classic that was made become computers. It is obvious that this movie did not have a big budget.

In the years before computers and Computer Generated Images, movie staffs like other people had to rely on their God-given common sense, creativity and imagination to come up with set decorations, costumes and realistic “creature features.” You have to applaud the ingenuity of the people who worked on this movie and made everything look realistic.

Obviously, in the Dark Ages Of American Cinema before computers, there were creative people, who knew “How To Make Things Work.”

Location, Location, Location – Imagination

If you have ever been around any swamps in Louisiana, then, this movie helps to remind you, “There are ‘gators in these swamps.” The settings and locations in this movie remind me I don’t want to be in the swamp, when the sun goes down.

In the spirit of October, when you dust off your “Horror” movies and start counting down “The Shopping Days Left Until Halloween” – “Swamp Thing” is one of the movies you take from your movie library and put in the DVD player.

If you don’t have the movie, break out the candy corn, go online and read the reviews for “Swamp Thing.” Then, you can go online an order from Netflix, swing by Blockbuster and rent. Or, if like me, you enjoy having your own movie library, then, you might want to see if it is in the October Horror movies for sale at your local Wal-Mart store.

Five Stars Family Creature Feature

I think “Swamp Thing” is a great family “creature feature” that celebrates October and Halloween. I give it Five Stars.

“The Fog”

If you are looking for other October “Creature Features” starring Adrienne Barbeau, then, consider “The Fog.” This movie has a stellar cast like Hal Holbrook and Janet Leigh.

It is a ghost story that involves a ship and a small Atlantic seaboard town. Jamie Lee Curtis, like Adrienne Barbeau, another “Legendary American Scream Queen” of horror films, is also in this movie.

Significance of The American ‘Remake”

In American movies, if people like a film – Hollywood remembers and does “The Remake”, years later for a new generation of moviegoers. Both, “Swamp Thing” and “The Fog” have had remakes done of the original movies. Therefore, I consider “Swamp Thing” and “The Fog” to be “American Cult Classics.”

Sit back with your popcorn, candy corn and soda on the sofa and put “Swamp Thing” and “The Fog” in your DVD player for an October evening of Halloween entertainment.

Sam

Movie Links

IMDb “Swamp Thing”

http://www.imdb.com/find?q=Swamp+Thing&s=all

IMDb Adrienne Barbeau

http://www.imdb.com/find?q=Adrienne+Barbeau&s=all

Comicbook Hotties.Com Adrienne Barbeau

http://www.comicbookhotties.com/celebrities/adrienne_barbeau/

var flattr_uid = ”;
var flattr_tle = ‘“Swamp Thing” October Creature Feature Viewing’;
var flattr_dsc = ‘