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Archive for December 21st, 2012

The World Is Still Here Doomsday Editorial by Samuel E.Warren Jr.

with 2 comments

The Mayans Got It Wrong

 

The

World

Is

Still

Here !

THE GLOBE_resized

Ho- Hum !

The Globe Spins On !

Today is December 21, 2012. Alas, the sun will shine December 22, 2012. Grandparents and parents you will still have to “pay off” those Christmas purchases; “Newsflash” – The World Didn’t End ! All the religious brouhaha could have been avoided and global paranoia settled by the realization that the Mayans had a reputation as serious astrologers like the Babylonians. Using their calendar and almanac system they computed “The End Of Their Astrological Age”, which they may have gotten right. But, global society seems to have an “End Of The World Fetish”, so people hunkered down for another silly “Doomsday Prophecy.” Someone tell the groundhogs they can come out of their holes, now.

Photo by Samuel E. Warren Jr.

by Samuel E. Warren Jr.

 

Today is Friday, December 21, 2012. The time is 4:57 p.m.

 

Today is suppose to be, “The Last Day Of Planet Earth.”

 

Today is suppose to be, “The End Of Days.”

 

The Mayans got the end of the world prediction wrong. Obviously.

 

The end of the world for the Mayans came a long time ago.

 

Missing Mayans

 

Scientists,archaeologists and historians are still trying to figure out the day the Mayans vaporized into mist.

 

They may have simply stepped into their space ships and punched up the engines to fly away.

 

They could of activated a talisman or amulet and stepped into a time and space wormhole to travel to another Earth Class planet across the cosmos. They forgot to leave a note saying, “We will be back. Feed the cat.”

 

They may have gotten a really bad case of “food poisoning” and all dropped dead overnight.

 

Of course, the Mayans ingrained ecology consciousness kicked in as they died and their biodegradable enzymes activated and they became “dust in the wind.”

 

The “End Of Days for the Mayans happened a long time before December 21, 2012 – so, “the Mayans got it wrong.”

 

The world is still here.

 

It is now, 6:16 pm and the sky hasn’t burst into flames. Huge chunks of rock aren’t flying up into the sky. The earth ain’t opening up into huge cracks. Raging, roaring rivers of water aren’t emerging out to the sides of coconut trees.

 

The Dumb, Dumb Doomsday Dudes” got it wrong again !

 

Earth’s Favorite Con Game

 

A Doomsday Prophet has to be the best job on the planet:

 

You tell the fairy tale. People throw tons of money at you. Businesses sprang up overnight to cater to the global paranoia.

 

Once the date passes, the prophet shrugs it off and says, “Back to the drawing board.”

 

Smart Old Dudes

 

The ancient doomsday prophets were smarter than their modern counterparts. The ancient guys and gals picked a date far enough out in the future that they would be dead and gone as dust in the wind before anyone ever realized “You’ve Been Had, Dad.”

 

The ancient guys knew a date way out in the future would provide them with a livelihood for their lifetime. The modern doomsday prophets are greedy, they want the “fat paycheck now.”

 

The Dumb Young Dudes

 

The modern doomsday guys and gals are counting on the e commerce revenue streams, product endorsements, book sales, talk shows, and news coverage to generate the capital that they can sock into the bank and live off of.

 

Unfortunately, when “Zero Day” arrives, the sun shines and the day naturally wears on – then, the modern, i.e., “young” dumb dudes have to “back pedal” their stories as “End Of An Era” or at the last moment enough people on earth “changed their wicked ways” and global disaster didn’t happen.

 

Around the mid to late 1980s there was the “fear” that earth’s pole might tip too far back or forward and cataclysmic weather would result. It didn’t happen, of course. Some religious nut job types claimed their all night prayer vigil had “saved the world.”

 

Of course, none of the “Planet Savers” came forward with any actual proof like real-time satellite imagery showing the earth tipping slightly forward or back with a time code clicking away in the corner, with a picture in picture inset of the planet savers streaking through the night sky to change earth’s rotational axis.

 

There were no cinema footage of the planet savers on their knees praying while a biological beam of light shoots out of the top of their little heads into the stratosphere to move the clouds and correct glitches in the Van Allen Radiation Belt.

 

The religious soothsayers didn’t even have any video of their group on their knees praying or dancing around naked out in the moonlight.

 

Once again, humanity had to imagine the Planet Savers disrobed and hanging their Lycra leotards and their spandex super suits back in the closet to await the next planetary peril.

 

Earth Heals

 

Planet Earth is a self-healing, living spaceship rotating through space. It is going to take more than some religious nut job doomsday prophets or a civilization thereof of religious nut job doomsday prophets for Planet Earth to “Cash In Her Chips” for the last time.

 

Every few years, some nut job comes along and plays on a basic human fear of humanity.

 

Death,” is a basic human fear.

 

The Big D” causes people to tremble at the thought of it.

 

Mass Extinction Events

 

Mass Extinction” for humanity seems to provide humankind a weird sort of comfort.

 

People usually “fear” “their own mortal death”.

 

People seem to take a weird comfort in the fact that some “event” is going to happen and “End Massive Amounts Of Human Lives At One Time.”

 

People “worry” about the end of the world. It is a “dumb worry.”

 

If God had stamped an “expiration date on Planet Earth” it would be obvious. Satellites in space would photograph the “Heavenly Bar Code” stamped into a mountain and the world would know.

 

If Spaceship Earth was coming apart at the seams, people would realize it because the structural cracks wouldn’t be limited to small areas of the planet.

 

The faults would all open up and spread out the energy around and through the globe and the planet would crumble like a cake.

 

The Universal Earth Engineer did a great interior design that allows Momma Earth to heal from within as well as from without.

 

Now, if a sun, asteroid, meteor, comet, or another planet is closing in on planet Earth; let us hope, NASA, the European Space Agency and the others who have “An Eye On The Sky” are watching.

 

Back Pedal Time

 

Already in the world news, the “Doomsday Predictors” have started to “back pedal” and come up with a reason, i.e., an “excuse” that the world didn’t “explode”, “crack apart like a dropped egg”, or “shimmy apart like the global stock markets.”

 

God, Allah, Yahweh, Jehovah, He, She, Goddess, Zeus, Hera, Diana, Isis, The Man Upstairs, The Woman Upstairs, The Big Super Dude, The Big Super Dudette – God, is a better universal engineer than man.

 

Humankind builds space ships. The Supreme Intellectual Entity Of The Universe builds suns and planets.

 

Never fear, by tomorrow, the “Doomsday Prophets” will have had time to lick their wounds and sleep off their hangovers.

 

By end of business tomorrow – Saturday, December 22, 2012 – there will be another “Doomsday Date” for generations of humanity to grow up in “fear” over.

 

Wait ! Saturday is the weekend !

 

The world will have to wait until Monday for the next Dumb, Dumb Doomsday Date.

 

Monday,December 24, 2012, while they do their “last minute Christmas shopping” – “The Dumb, Dumb Doomsday Dudes” will have another “End Of The World” date ready to generate global paranoid for future generations.

 

The Real World Armageddon Events

 

Apocalypse, Armageddon and the End Of The World usually happens several times a month and people just don’t notice.

 

Typhoons, tornadoes, tsunamis are natural apocalypses that occur as Momma Earth heals and changes herself. The large loss of human life is an apocalypse event.

 

Bomb explosions, large aircraft accidents, where planes “fall out of the sky”, and huge ships that “go down at sea” are all “Acts Of Armageddon.” Whether accidents or terrorism, there is a huge loss of human life, so this is an Armageddon event.

 

The reason why “The Real World Tragic Events” aren’t recognized for the “Apocalypse” and “Armageddon” events that they are is because the major religions of the world “NEED” their “Mass Extinction Event” to keep people coming back to the churches, synagogues and mosques of the world.

 

Otherwise the “Holy Men Of The Planet” would have to get “real jobs” to “earn a living.”

 

History is full of Apocalypse and Armageddon events: World War I, World War II, The San Francisco Earthquake of 1907, ( The New Madrid Earthquake in the 1800s, “when water flowed backwards”) The Bombing Of Pearl Harbor, The Battle Of The Alamo, The World Trade Centers Towers Terrorists Attack. All these events were “Apocalyptic.”

 

The fact that some religion’s hero didn’t show up to “Save The Day” is irrelevant.

 

All of these events were events that resulted in “Mass Extinction Of Human Lives.”

 

Every nation has a history of natural and man made disasters that are “Apocalypse” and “Armageddon” events, since people starting jotting down information for The Maintenance Record Of Planet Earth.

 

If a street corner holy man or holy woman comes up to you with his or her doomsday prophecy, just smile and give him or her some “small sheckles of silver” out of your pocket. Then, he or she can go get their brown bag of cheap wine.

 

Earth Built To Last

 

Earth ain’t going away. It is here to stay.

 

If the internal mechanics of the planets get seriously out of whack, then, it will be obvious.

 

If an external threat from space is en route, then, hopefully, the professional stargazers will reveal it to people in time to come up with a Plan A and a Plan B.

 

Go ahead, put your DVD of “2012” into the DVD player and lean back to watch the movie.

 

Again, Momma Earth is getting bad publicity from the “Doomsday Soothsayers.”By sunrise, some conman or con woman will have come up with another date for Doomsday.

 

Humanity’s Favorite

Doom And Gloom” Story

 

Without Humanity’s Favorite “Doom and Gloom” Story major sections of the global economy would suffer “The Holy Men And Holy Women Of The World Would Have To Get Real Jobs To Earn A Living.”

 

After centuries of parasitic storytelling, “Don’t expect them all to jump up at once to go out and get real ‘elbow grease’ and ‘sweat of the brow’ jobs. They can continue to rest comfortable on their backsides because the old ‘End Of The World Story’ is just “too good” to ever go away.

 

In the “Fear Of The Unknown Column” there is that microscopic fear that one day – “God The Father” – might just of had enough and starts tossing out “The Number 12 Lightning Bolts” right and left.

 

Zap ! Giant man salt shaker ! Zap ! Giant woman salt shaker !

 

Zap ! Zap ! Zap ! Giant Dead Salt Sea !

 

Wait, God has already done those numbers. After 21 Centuries, no doubt, he still has some Nuclear Number 12 Lightning Bolts to wreak out some havoc that has yet to be documented.

 

Is “The Big Boss Man” or “The Big Boss Woman” going to go “Planetary Postal” ?

 

Not likely. Pick up a newspaper and look at the headlines.

 

Another day of terrorism, rape, murder, crime, corruption,war, pain, suffering, hate and general discontent of humanity on planet Earth.

 

After centuries of controversy, conflict, calamity and catastrophe, God knows what to expect from mankind. Not much.

 

He isn’t going to waste time cleansing the world, when people simply need to “Grow Up” and act like evolved individuals.

 

Why should God destroy one of his best life creations just because the spoiled brats of earth don’t know how to play with their toys in the global living rooms of the planet ?”

 

Too Good A Story To Let Go Of

 

Besides, “The End Of The World” is a great story and movie idea. It is too good an idea for citizens of the world to “sluff off.”

 

End Of The World movies always provides a “Genesis” for a new film maker to make a name for himself or herself as a director.

 

End Of The World is always an “In the beginning” at the box office for a movie studios box office receipts.

 

America’s 1970s Cold War End Of The World Nuclear Annihilation movies were like blades of grass because they were everywhere.

 

While one Nuclear Winter End Of The World movie was on the screen in theaters, others were being shot in Hollywood back lots as soon as scripts could be written, actors could be hired and cameras loaded with film.

 

The population of the world could not seem to get enough of “The Global Suicide Story”

 

Four Horsemen Supreme Mythology

 

The Four Horsemen Of The Apocalypse is a timeless classic.

 

All a modern writer or storyteller has to do is change something like use four horse women, put the four heroes or heroines on camels,caribou, motorcycles or use four super human people or four angels.

 

Since some places in the Orient have a hangup on the number “Four” you change the number to 3, 5, 6, 10, 12 or some non-four number.

 

The writer or storyteller puts his or her “spin” on the basic story and you have a comedy, a fantasy, a drama or whatever type of script or manuscript that the writer was going for.

 

Do a really “burn the midnight oil job” on the story and don’t be surprised if the “spinoff” becomes a religion.

 

Fear Of The Unknown

 

The End Of The World is too good a story for Citizens Of The World to ever let go of. The story helps people to face their “Fear Of The Unknown.”

 

You take the basic human “Fear” of “Death” and you put it up on “The Big Screen” in Panavision, Technicolor, surround sound and watch “Poor Old Planet Earth Come Apart For The Umpteenth Time.”

 

A big box of buttered popcorn and a huge soda, in hand, you get to watch the world disappear in your lifetime. You do not have to run and scream into the night as burning chunks of meteors blaze down out of the sky on top of your head.

 

Of course, the “Hercules hero” or the “Athena heroine” is usually suppose to show up in the nick of time to scratch Atlas’ shoulder blade and keep the earth in place in space.

 

No need to fear your death. Death comes when Death comes.

 

We all live; we all die. Life is a natural process.

 

The End Of The World comes for us all.

 

Enjoy your life !

GLOBE THUMBNAIL LOGO ONE

Sam

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons license.

Written by samwarren55

December 21, 2012 at 10:11 PM

Posted in Bloggers, Blogs, Business, Current Events, Ecology, Editorial, Family, God, Holidays, Money, Nature, New Age, Observances, Opinion, Soap Box Religious Opinion, Zera, Zeus

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My Lone Star Christmas by Samuel E. Warren Jr.

with 12 comments

My

Lone Star

Christmas Story

THE CHRISTMAS TREE_resized

 

Silver

Christmas Tree

Christy Warren, Leneil Saldana, Rayniel Saldana, Ranilo Saldana, Junea Tanahale and Esmeralda Tanahale, all worked to create the artificial silver Christmas Tree at One Warren Way, Barangay Baras. Every time I look at the tree I am reminded of the silver artificial tree that my Aunt Bill and Uncle Audrey used in Houston, Texas in the 1960s. Photo by Samuel E. Warren Jr.

by Samuel E. Warren Jr.

Opal M. DeLong Warren, my mother, was a savvy business woman, who learned at an early age how to manage and save her money and the only “risky” investment she ever made was in land that “always paid for itself.”

 

In childhood, I always had a remarkable Christmas. Both of my parents had had “a hard life” growing up on the farm in rural Missouri and rural Texas.

 

The secret to “My Lifetime Of Privileged Childhood Christmas Days” was my mother and father, especially my mother.

 

Both parents, “were bound and determined” if they ever had a child – that child – would have a better life “growing up” than they did.

 

I did.

 

My Childhood Christmas Celebrations” were always outstanding. The devotion of my parents to make life better for their child guaranteed that the slightest detail was never overlooked.

 

Christmas Shopping

 

Texas LogoIn Houston, my mother always planned my Christmas holiday celebrations with the precision and intensity of someone required to brief the Joint Chiefs of Staff. Momma never overlooked any details.

 

I remember Momma taking me with her to go shopping downtown at Woolworths and grocery shopping at Weingartens, in the suburbs.

 

The Airline Shopping Mall was one of the first major shopping malls built in our section of Houston. It was a place of wonder, when I was a child. There were so many shops with so many items to a five-year-old boy it looked like you could shop nonstop for a week.

 

Momma would swing by Aunt Bill’s house and pick her up or she would take a bus and meet us in the cafeteria of Woolworths.

 

Momma never left me with a babysitter, so wherever she went – I went.

 

Of course, Aunt Bill would take me by the hand and we would go shopping in the toy department, while Momma would shop for other items on her shopping list.

 

Aunt Bill never had a driver’s license until after her 48th birthday, when she passed the test.

 

Nights close to Christmas, Momma would have daddy set aside the night shift job to go Christmas shopping with us. There was a huge store called, “Globe” that seemed to stretch for acres across the horizon in all directions. We would make evening shopping trips to Globe to browse the long aisles.

 

Momma and I loved to shop. Daddy was the traditional American male shopping stereotype, who always just wants to “go in get what he needed and get out of the store.”

 

Southern Protocol

 

The United States is the United States from sea to shining sea. Americans are pretty much all alike in all the 50 states and trust territories. However, “The South” is still “The South.”

 

The southern United States definitely has a distinct sense of protocol that is missing from the northern states. It is a sense of protocol and etiquette not much different from any branch of the United States Armed Forces.

 

The best way to describe “Southern Protocol” —- imagine “The British Monarchy in Stetsons and dress cowboy boots.”

 

What It Means To Be A Texan

 

At heart, “A Texan Is A Successful Hybrid Of An Israeli And A United States Marine.”    Texas Logo 

 

Like the Israelis, Texans know they too are “God’s Chosen People – Texans are The American Version Of God’s Chosen People.”

 

Like a United States Marine, a Texan is all about God and Country, which means “The Battle Of The Alamo” is engineered into your DNA and the follow-up report of where General Sam Houston and the Texicans caught up with Santa Anna and his men is engineered into your RNA, which translates to “The Lone Star” will find a way to shine through any adversity at all costs.

 

Citizens of the other southern states have their sense of pride. Texas and Texans citizenship genetics is a unique blend of confidence, arrogance and pride.

 

Louisiana Pride

 

Louisiana citizens share a state pride that is similar to the Texan’s. Some of the original settlers of Louisiana had been forced to leave their native land and essentially found sanctuary in Louisiana. Then, you factor in the French heritage and the Caribbean cultural influence to create a unique state.

 

New Orleans’ magick, superstition, Voodoo, Hoodoo, Santeria and varying degrees of Roman Catholicism has always been “A Busty Bright Red Bra Waving In The Face Of America’s Conservative Religious Right.”

 

Factor in lawyers trained in the Code Napoleon, who practice law within the United States’ modified British legal system and Americans at large consider Louisiana an oddity best visited during Mardi Gras.

 

All the states of the United States have unique cultures based on their histories. The southern states have always had the European heritage belief that suggests your heritage should be a part of who you are —- rather than just an old family history book in a box packed away in a storage unit and forgotten about.

 

Texans and Louisianans simply seem more ready to embrace their family heritages and proudly live in the spotlight. The traditional southern culture concept is based on respect and politeness.

 

Children in the southern states in 2012 may not be as formally trained as I was as a child.

 

I was taught: “Please.” “Thank You.” “Yes, sir.” “No, sir.” “Yes, mam.” “No, mam.”

 

I was taught to always respect my elders. I was taught to be polite. I was taught if you disagree to do it in a civil manner. Only the adults got to cuss or lose their temper, but, that was only after they had exhausted all the civil rules of politeness and protocol

 

Smart Aleck ?

 

When I first went to “boot camp”, my first Military Training Instructor, Technical Sergeant Carr, a native of Kansas City, Missouri, accused me of being a “smart aleck” because I answered, “Yes, sir” and “No,sir” as soon as I got off the bus at Lackland Air Force Base, Texas.

 

Airman Basic Warren are you being a smart aleck with me,” he grumbled at the top of his lungs loudly into my face.

 

Sir. No, sir. Daddy is a Texan, sir.”

 

Titles Of Respect

 

I was taught that children did not interrupt adults talking in a conversation. You let people finish saying what they have to say, before you reply.

 

Anyone older than you are is always Mr., Mrs, Miss, Mz.

 

You never ever call anyone by their last name without a courtesy title like Mr., or Mrs., in front of the last name, especially, if that person is middle age or a senior citizen – it is a sign of respect,

 

Never ever refer to a middle-aged or senior citizen by their first name, even if they tell you it is okay. You would still call them by their respected title and last name.

 

When Momma and I moved to Missouri, my first three years of school I always felt weird because the Southern Protocol had been engineered into my DNA.

 

Classmates would look at me weird when I added Mrs before the last name of their mothers and added Mr before the last name, when addressing their fathers.

Ozarks Informality

In the Ozarks, kids call adults by their first names. In the Ozarks, kids could answer, “Yeah.”, “Yep.”, “Nope”, or “Nah.,” I was never allowed to use the informality.

 

I was taught it was okay to call kids my own age by their first names and if they had a brother or sister only one year older.

 

If the brother or sister was two years older than my classmate then the Texas and Southern Protocol default kicked in and I had to add Mr., or Miss.

 

The Southern Protocol was always comfortable and normal “Down South” because everyone did it. But, using the “Southern Protocol” procedures in the Ozarks always made me seem like a “foreigner” to my classmates, their siblings and their parents.

 

By the fourth grade, I didn’t care what my classmates thought of my “Southern Protocol.” Daddy expected me to do it. Momma required me to do it. I did it. By fourth grade, “Southern Protocol” was like eye color – it was a part of me.

 

Momma The Hillbilly

 

Momma took pride in being known as a Missouri hillbilly. She often referred to herself as a hillbilly. People would nod. Then, of course, when she called someone “Mr. Keithley” or “Mrs. Keithley,” Ozarkers would frown at the Mr., or Mrs.” being added before the last name, when they expected to hear a first name.

 

Usually an Ozarks’ family member would whisper or speak up, “Opal spent years living in Texas.”

 

As a child I would smile and wonder why Texas just didn’t issue a passport that the other states would recognize.

 

Texas Protocol and Southern Protocol in day to day business affairs in the Ozarks was like being a diplomat from a foreign country.

 

Texas, and maybe, Louisiana, should have their own embassies in Washington D.C., even as states of the United States because Texas and Louisiana really are still foreign countries to their fellow Americans.

 

Political Awareness – NOT

Political Correctness

 

Momma was a politically astute woman. She did not do or say things because they were expected or because it was the “politically correct fad” of the moment.

 

A politically aware person bases their actions on the situation and their beliefs. A “politically correct” person, is like America’s wimp politicians of the 1970s, who all had the “backbones of jellyfish.” Instead of standing up to controversy or working to find a solution, the “politically correct wimps” went with the “fad of the moment” and made America appear like a moody school girl in domestic and foreign policy matters.

 

Momma was politically aware. She made it a point to vote in every presidential election, every election for sheriff and the school board election. She voted for the other offices like county clerk, governor and the others, but, she really focused on the president because he or she calls the overall shots that can lead to war or peace. The sheriff has massive amounts of power in a county. The school board simply means they can go off the deep end and do things that are really going to send your property taxes through the roof.

 

Momma knew and dealt with politicians in the Ozarks, but, they never really knew if Opal was a supporter or just a polite woman.

 

Subtle Messages

 

Momma had learned the Texas Protocol and Southern Protocol custom of referring to people as “a personal friend of mine” or the remark, “they are an acquaintance of mine.”

 

Down South people understood the remarks identified a level of response. It was a subtle endorsement or a subtle rejection of a candidate, leader, official or the person next door.

 

Down South the “personal friend” and the “acquaintance” remarks were a polite way of showing where you stood. In the Ozarks, people shrugged off the remarks as though it was a boast.

 

Momma didn’t brag or boast. She always reminded me, “No one likes a braggart or a blow hard. Don’t blow your own horn.”

 

Family Holidays “Down South” in Houston, in the 1960s, were treated like “an audience with the Queen of England,” “a formal state dinner at the White House” or “an audience at the Vatican.” The significance of the holiday determined the level of formality.

 

The Generals And The Realtors

 

One of the major differences of the 1950s and the 1960s “Down South” as opposed to the Ozarks was in the “formality” of the American Woman.

 

In the South, once you sat foot in a home, it was comfortable, warm, functional and organized like a commanding general’s office. In the home, everything had a place and everything was in the place.

 

Here To Stay

 

There might be lace dollies on the furniture. Even if the home had kids, you still felt at home and everything was organized. It was formal and lived in, but, never gave the feeling that there was damage or that you were “under attack.”

 

Kids grew up with the expectation that all the important formal ceremonies of life would be within the four walls and under the roof. Home for Christmas really meant you had to be “Home for Christmas” to truly enjoy the holiday.

 

The home always had a comfortable sense of “relaxed and functional formality.” The South had a “home” mentality. The Southern “home” was a base of operations and the “wife” was the general in charge who made sure “the base was there to stay.”

Ready To Redeploy

 

In the Ozarks, in the 1950s and 1960s, women seemed to still have “the log cabin mentality.” It was the feeling that, “We cook in here and sleep in here, but, once we get some money, then, we will go find a ‘real ‘ home to live in and a realtor can sell this one.”

 

There was usually the feeling you get on being assigned to a base on a closure list, which is we do the job, until we get orders somewhere else and the realtors show up here or the bulldozers to start the closure procedure.

 

Kids seemed to grow up with the expectation that their homes were more like “bus stations”, which meant “Christmas On The Road” indicated you wouldn’t have to be home for the holidays.

 

The Ozarks had a “temporary and looking for something better” mentality. The Ozarks’ “home” seemed a “deployment area” and the “wife” was “the realtor in charge who stood ready to load the kids in the car and head for the state line.”

 

Texas Logo

 

Christmas Itinerary

 

Christmas meant you pulled out all the stops and went for “A Norman Rockwell Christmas” that could be filmed by a major motion picture studio for possible showing on the screens of theaters.

 

Zero Hour for Christmas Day relied on the children. The child was the “On Scene Commander,” once the child got to the Christmas Tree the mission kicked off.

 

Like a Strategic Air Command Operational Readiness Inspection,you knew it would happen; you just didn’t know when ? Parents hoped the child would wait until sunrise to begin Christmas Day.

 

Operation Christmas Tree” means the parents watch the kids be kids and have fun. Have the video movie cameras and the film or digital still cameras loaded with charged batteries and recording media positioned nearby. After all, children don’t learn about “photo opportunities ” until they grow older.

 

Once Operation Christmas Tree ends, then, Mom and Dad will have their plans to implement for the rest of the day.

 

In Houston,plans after Operation Christmas Tree, meant Aunt Bill and Uncle Audrey, would go to church and then show up for Christmas Dinner. Daddy and Uncle Audrey would shoot the breeze, while Aunt Bill and Momma would cook Christmas Dinner,

 

Usually the day would extend past Christmas Dinner, while the adults talked until the early evening, when Aunt Bill and Uncle Audrey would head home.

 

Christmas in Houston meant a 98 percent chance of “No Snow.”

 

C – Day !

 

December 25, 1959

The Home of Samuel E. and Opal M. DeLong Warren

313th East 26th Street

Houston, Texas

 

I have never been a morning person.

 

C – Day ! Christmas Day was always the exception to my genetic programming.

 

I bolted out of bed.

 

By the time, my tiny feet hit the floor, I was already halfway down the hallway and into the screened in porch room.

 

The huge Christmas Tree was only six foot tall, but, when you are a five-year old boy, the tree in the corner is always as huge as a California Redwood. Momma had massive amounts of matched decorations on the trees. The ornaments were the painted glass ball ornaments of the era.

 

The bubble lights always mesmerized me like a deer in the headlights. The plastic UFO shaped disk bulbs were two tones of color like red and green or blue and yellow. A glass tube contained a red fluid that when heated by electricity would “bubble.”

 

I would shake off my bubble light trance and dive for the brightly wrapped boxes under the tree. It helped that Momma and Daddy were workaholics because I always got what I wanted and more that I didn’t even know existed.

 

 

Marx Electric Robot

 

The centerpiece of this Christmas celebration for me – the Marx Electric Robot. It was an ugly toy.

 

Looks are not everything.

 

My robot came out of the box, to display a casket gray and dark maroon paint scheme.

 

It had a face, only a mother could love. It had a square, alphabet block style head. It had a Voodoo mask expression with a hideous toothless grin. The original toy designer must have worked on the sets of Hollywood Halloween Horror flicks because the toy looked scary.

 

It had a toolbox drawer in it’s stomach, which was cool because it had a wrench or two and the rectangular drawer looked like it belonged at that position.

 

The pedestal base leg design was misleading. You thought the robot would walk like a person with one leg in front of the other. Bur, actually, it’s walking function was more of a “rolling” function.

 

The fact that the big robot took two D sized batteries, “flashlight batteries” to move like it “walked” was a big selling point for kids and parents.

 

The C claw pincher hand at the end of the arm allowed the robot to pick up a “Junior” robot, a smaller robot that came packaged with the main robot.

 

I don’t remember the junior robot “doing anything.” It was a sculpted piece of plastic that sat on the floor for the main robot to “pickup” with the pincher arm.

 

The major selling point of this robot was “The Morse Code function.” You pushed the button on the back of the maroon blockhead and the large yellow eyes on the face would “flash out” Morse code.

 

My robot had The Morse Code key printed out in yellow on the back of the robot, so you knew how many dots and dashes you needed to spell out a letter or a word.

 

In the 1950s this robot was “technology.” In 2012, you can find the non-working robots listed on ebay, without the “Junior” plastic robot that always seems to have disappeared.

 

The moving and the Morse Code function of the robot “amazed me.” I always had to show my aunts and uncles this nifty toy when they came by to visit.

 

Everyone always laughed at the ugly little robot with the flashing Morse Code eyes. Even the adults thought it was “swell” because of the Morse Code function.

 

The Space Race Is On

 

The “simplistic technology” of this robot in the Cold War years of America and “The Space Race” always served to remind you that the Russians may have beat the Americans into space with Sputnik, but the “Race For The Moon Is On.”

 

By 1960, it is impossible to imagine a boy in America from age four to 13 that wasn’t ready to pack his bags and report to NASA to become an astronaut. Robots and space toys were all the rage from the date Sputnik launched in 1957 until Man Walked On The Moon in 1969.

 

Battalions Of Boy Astronauts Downsized

 

America could have been and should have been the nation that made Gene Roddenberry’s United Federation of Planet’s Star Trek future a reality.

 

Alas, the 1970s and “lily-liveried politicians” decided to choose” wallets and worry” or intelligence, imagination, creativity, desire, drive and ambition. Generations of America’s “Battalions Of Boy Astronauts” grew up to become “clock punching peasant taxpayers.”

 

While the future rests in the ether of time, I rip through the paper and become surrounded by a science fiction lunar landscape of discarded boxes and strange paper trees, the floor under the tree would disappear under the revealed toy inventory.

 

My

Marx Three Keys To Treasure Bagatelle Machine

 

 

December 25, 1961

The Home of Samuel E. and Opal M. DeLong Warren

313th East 26th Street

Houston, Texas

 

I rush to the Christmas Tree in the living room and began ripping into the brightly wrapped packages. I ripped into the Christmas paper on the oblong box and unleashed “The Future.”

 

Walk into an American bowling alley, cafe, restaurant, hamburger joint, drive in, bar, or beer joint and you would almost always find one and sometimes several bagatelle machines.

 

They were loud, noisy, gaudy and they mesmerized generations of people until the 1980s when the coin-operated video game industry began to install their annoying game machines.

 

Everyone seemed to love the bagatelle machines. You could even buy smaller versions in toy stores and the toy sections of drug stores and grocery stores.

 

America loved her pinball machines.

 

My Marx Three Keys To Treasure Bagatelle Machine was a child’s version of “The Wheel Of Fortune” television game show.

 

Inside the large maroon dial of the wheel were shiny, bright, gumball machine novelty prizes. At least, one marble has to align in the three spaces of the maroon plastic selection device. Then, you move the peg, which activates the contraption that opens the door on the wheel to reveal your “treasure.”

 

Momma, daddy, Aunt Bill, Uncle Audrey, and I would crowd around the kitchen table on a Friday or Saturday evening and play the game. The adults seemed to enjoy the game as much as any kid.

 

There were spaces printed with points listed, which meant if you got a pen and notepad, you could keep track of your points and figure out who had the most skill with the game.

 

One trip to Texas and the game got loaded in the Impala for the trip back to Missouri. In Missouri, whenever the game was placed on the kitchen table, adults and kids always crowded around the machine and the evening passed with people laughing.

 

There was a few years in the 1970s, when the toy occupied a space in the living room closet, but, even in the 1970s, 1980s and 1990s, the toy would appear on the kitchen table and people would crowd around for a game of pinball.

 

In December 2011, the toy was packed into our household goods for shipment to the Republic of the Philippines. Travel turned the pristine, but dusty box into a pathetic version of it’s former glory.

 

The toy survived the trip, with a minor amount of damage. Nonetheless, when the machine is set up on the kitchen table, the kids crowd around for an afternoon of pinball.

 

I salute the Marx toy company workers because any company that can create a product that from 1961 until 2012 is still standing the test of time is a company that had a “great idea.”

 

And, 51 years later, the bagatelle machine is still bringing smiles and keeping kids and adults entertained for an afternoon or an evening to create a “Treasure Trove Of Memories.” – “What A Toy !”

 

My Immortal “ Kodak Moment ”

 

Christmas morning in Houston, I would look up from the rising sea of discarded Christmas wrapping paper. I radiated, joy, happiness, excitement, like a new sun sending light and energy through space.

 

Mom and Dad would heard the commotion of my childish exaltations.

 

Yes !” “Gee whiz !” “Alright !” “Oh, boy !” “Swell !.” “Neat !” “Neato !”

 

They would step into the room, smiling, wearing pajamas and bulky red Christmas bath robes. Each had a cup of piping hot coffee that they sipped on.

 

The camera in my mind snapped the picture of Mom and Dad standing there smiling at me sipping their coffee. Click ! That “Kodak Moment” is forever framed in the photographic gallery of my memory.

 

I was a blessed little boy. I was a spoiled little boy.

 

Back in the 21st Century, One Warren Way, Barangay Baras, Leyte, Republic of the Philippines. I watched Christy and the kids cut out the letters for a holiday banner like a New York City jeweler facets a diamond. They were meticulous and precise in their use of the scissors on the paper.

 

As the days until Christmas Day pass, the kids talk about and look forward to their school Christmas parties.

 

My wish is Christmas morning, the kids notice Uncle Sam and Aunt Christy stroll out on the porch to watch them release their “inner kid” on the brightly wrapped boxes under the Christmas Tree.

 

I hope they pause only long enough to capture a “Kodak Moment” that they can place in the photo folders of their minds to hang on to in the years to come.

 

Early in the morning, Christy and I will both be sipping from hot cups of coffee. Of course, Uncle Sam with his camera will be ready to take a few family snapshots.

Sam

Texas Logo

 

Sidebar

 

Rubber Toys of the 1960s

 

The nice thing about being a kid in the 1950s is you got tin and metal toys at Christmas to play with.

 

I had a collection of Auburn hard rubber cars and trucks to play with. They were fun toys to play with.

 

I didn’t like the plastic toys because they broke too easily.

 

I loved the metal and tin toys because they were durable and could take whatever you through at them. Usually the worst thing that happen would be you might knock off some paint from the toy.

 

You could leave a tin or metal toy out in the rain or snow and it would still be where you left it. And, even in the salt air of Texas, the toy didn’t “rust out” that quickly.

 

In the mid to late 1960s, parents began to complain to Congress that the tin and metal toys had sharp edges that might hurt the child.

 

Then, in the 1970s, some kids had put the metal toys in their mouth. Parents complained to Congress because many of the metal toys were coated in lead based paint, which was suppose to create health problems and lower the child’s I.Q.

 

Congress, of course, passed the laws.

 

No one , apparently, ever had the common sense idea to remind parents : “They are your kids. You are suppose to look in on your kids every so often to make sure they aren’t misusing, abusing or destroying their toys. Parents are suppose to check on their kids to make sure they are not using their toys in a manner that will hurt or injure the child.”

 

Kids aren’t born knowing how to play with toys; you have to show toddlers and three-year – olds how to play with toys. It only takes a couple of minutes to sit down on the floor and show a kid how to roll a car on the floor. It only takes a moment to remind a child that you don’t throw the toy at people or furniture.”

 

The rubber toys were fun and would last for generations.

 

The metal and tin toys were durable and would last for generations.

 

The plastic toys were cheap. Accidentally, drop a plastic toy and it could smash to smithereens. Usually, a plastic toy lasted only a few minutes.

 

Sam

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons license.

Written by samwarren55

December 21, 2012 at 3:55 AM

Posted in Bloggers, Blogs, Business, Editorial, Family, Holidays, Money, Observances, Opinion

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